Noah (The Mitchell/Healy Family #1)(71)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“Mom, I appreciate this talk, but I’m not givin’ up my man-card anymore than I already have today. I’m not goin’ to beg her. It ain’t happenin’.”

She raised her brow. “Just like your father.”

“Whatever. I am who I am.”

She stood up and looked down at me. “Noah, sometimes it takes a man’s sensitivity to win back the woman he loves. The sooner you accept that, the better your life will be. I’ve never felt more in love with your father then the few times I’ve seen him cry. I know you say she’s moving on, but you’ve got this small window to make things right. Don’t wait until it’s too late for that.” She started to walk toward the door. “Oh, and about leaving the farm…It will be here when you get back, whenever that may be.”

She winked and left me sitting in the kitchen alone as she exited.

I just sat there for a while, thinking about the situation. Shalan didn’t trust me, and that hurt, but her writing me off was inconceivably hard. Even if she didn’t want to be with me, I at least needed her to know how I felt. She needed to know that I’d do anything to make it up to her.

An hour later, after a long shower to try to make myself feel better, I tried to call her. When she didn’t answer I just hung up, knowing a voicemail wasn’t going to help my case.

I sent her a message instead; one she could read whenever she was ready.

I’m already a mess without you, Shalan. Please call me so we can work this out. What happened was a terrible mistake. I’d never do that to you. – Noah

Two days went by before she responded.

How do you know that you’d never do that to me? I can’t trust you, and I feel like I don’t even know you. It’s best if we stop talking. It was fun, but I’ve got to focus on my career now. – Shalan

They weren’t the words that I wanted to hear. She was definitely done with me, and I hated knowing it. All of my feelings were a jumbled up mess. I wasn’t sleeping, and even my mother’s food couldn’t make me want to eat. This woman had me messed up in ways I never thought possible.

I knew it was going to be a mistake, but after waiting a whole day to respond, I sent her one last message figuring she wouldn’t reply.

I wish you the best with your career. I know you’ll be a star. You deserve happiness, and I hope you find it. I can’t wait to hear that beautiful voice on the radio. It’s going to happen for you. – Noah

Immediately she responded back.

Thank you. I’ll never forget how I got here, even if it didn’t go the way I wanted it to. I’m glad I met you, Noah Mitchell. Take care of yourself. – Shalan

I traced her words on my phone, knowing this was her final goodbye. It got me so upset that I had to go duck into a pole building to calm down. I didn’t want anyone seeing me so discombobulated over a woman. I’d never hear the end of it.

After a full days work I still wasn’t able to come to grips with Shalan’s goodbye. Once I got cleaned up I laid on my bed and thought about the way her skin felt to touch, and the way her smile always made me smile back. I thought about that voice of hers that got me every time.

Knowing that I had to make peace with the situation and move on with my life, I picked up my phone and did something I knew I’d probably come to regret.

I love you. – Noah

After hitting send I tossed my phone across the room and it shattered into pieces. Those three words were only going to piss her off, and at this point it wasn’t going to do me any good. We’d met unexpectedly and ended the same way. I had to live with that now, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to change it.

Shalan

I had to stay focused, because it was the only way that I could handle losing Noah. His last message was a constant reminder of how much I wished things could have been different. I’d never set out to have him come into my life and save me from myself, but he had. I hadn’t been lying when I said I’d be forever grateful to him.

The next week went by so slowly. I’d packed and prepared for my big trip way too soon. Since my housing was only temporary, it wasn’t like I was leaving behind anything of value while I was gone. My stay there was only until my album was cut, and then I’d be on my own, making plenty of money to have means to find a place to stay.

On the day that we left for the tour, I felt overwhelmed with guilt about Noah. Even though I knew I couldn’t trust him, a part of me longed to be in his arms again. To be honest, it was the only place I’d ever felt completely safe.

My flight overseas was long, and for the most part I knew nobody that I was traveling with. I found myself having too much time on my hands to think about my life, and all of the decisions that had gotten me to this point.

I knew I was lucky. Who gets a record deal after performing karaoke at a hotel bar? It was insane, but for sure happening to me. As blessed as I felt, I couldn’t have gotten there without the one person I’d written off.

It hurt so much, and I cried until I couldn’t see straight too many times over it.

The only thing left to do was take my emotions and write. It helped me say goodbye to my mother, and it was going to help me get over Noah. After all, how could I have fallen for him so hard so soon? Sure plenty of time had passed, but I was certainly in love, knowing that no man had every gotten to me the way he had.

In the time it took us to fly from New York to England, I’d written two songs. I’d cried through parts of them, and smiled in others. In all of the songs that I’d ever written, I never felt such a pull when I read them over. I knew I’d never be able to sing them, because they were the only thing holding me together, and if I shared them with the world it would make me vulnerable. I’d overcome that part of me, and I was determined to never show it again.

Our time overseas lasted a whole extra month, and none of us knew who to blame for the late notice. Three months is a long time to be away from the only world I’d ever known. During the day we would travel, and at night we would perform, only having a few days of the week for ourselves. Mostly, I traveled with the rest of the backup singers and got to know them. Of course, they wanted to know my story and I refused to open up about it. This is my new life, and Noah, as well as everything else, was my past.

Things started to get better as the days went by, but there was never one that I hadn’t thought about Noah, his family, and their beautiful life that he’d never appreciated.

When our tour was over I was asked to continue after a months rest back in the states. I was over-the-moon excited for the opportunity and accepted without a second of thought.