Noah (The Mitchell/Healy Family #1)(72)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Once I was home, settled into my apartment, and preparing for my first studio session it all came crashing down on me.

I’d received an email regarding the schedule of the cities that we would be performing in, and one was in Kentucky, near the airport that I’d flown into. Noah hadn’t really told me all of his favorite band names, but I knew he liked country music and wondered if he ever went to concerts. As quick as I had the idea to send him tickets, I shook off the idea knowing that I couldn’t reach out to him. We were over, and as much as a friendship would have made me feel better, I knew I’d always want more.

When I went to my session I sat down with the band and we went over melodies and brakes, practicing how we wanted to do the chorus until we all agreed it was perfect. Shelly had arranged for the music, and while she and her husband sat in the control room, looking down at all of my songs that they’d chosen, I knew this was do or die. I had to make an impression that would stand out.

We got through our first day with little problems. Five songs were in the bag and the next six were going to be just as easy. I’d practiced them for two months, and it helped that the music had already been added with the lyrics. All I had to do was memorize and make it my own.

On the third and final day Shelly got a call half-way in and asked if we could take a couple minutes to break until she got back. I stood around for a second, whispering the next song chorus to myself. Then I turned around and looked at the band. The box was empty and besides them, who’d heard me sing for the past three days, I was without an audience.

I closed my eyes and started thinking about Noah, and the words to one of my songs just started coming out. With my eyes still closed I heard the band beginning to play, giving me a rhythm to go off of. Every instrument added depth, and even more emotion to my lyrics, until suddenly I started to cry and couldn’t continue. When I opened my eyes Shelly was standing up in the control room staring at me with shocked eyes.

I ran out of the booth as fast as I could making it to the bathroom before I lost it. All of my hidden feelings had come out and attacked me at the very moment I needed to be at my strongest.

Shelly found me leaning against the sink wiping my eyes. “I’m sorry, Shelly. I just-.” She shushed me.

“I’m going to ask you something, Shalan, and you need to be honest with me.”

I shook my head, ready to answer any questions about the breakup I’d told no one about.

“Do you think once you calm down you could sing that song again?”

I was shocked. “What?”

“Those words, that song, it was beautiful. That song needs to be your first single.”

I shook my head. “No. It can’t. There’s no way I could record it.”

“Shalan, honey I can see that song is dear to your heart, but people want to feel that emotion when you sing. Trust me, I deal with this every single day. I get that it’s hard for you, but I’m telling you right now, that is the song.”

When I wasn’t able to answer, Shelly hugged me again and left me to calm down on my own. I couldn’t believe that I’d let them hear the words I’d written Noah. It was such a mistake, but if it could be my first single, if I could make the charts, wasn’t it worth it? Wouldn’t Noah want me to go as far as I could?

It took me a while, but I walked out into the booth with a fresh face and half of a smile. I looked into the control room and gave Shelly a nod. “I’m ready for that song now.”

“Okay guys, that song you were working on, let’s work with that for a while. We need to change when the base comes in at first. I think Shalan should start without music, and then that third line you can come in strong.” Shelly announced as she winked at me.

This was my chance. Being a backup singer was an amazing opportunity, but this was my dream. I was doing this for my mother, and everyone out there that thought I’d amount to nothing. It was for my brother, who’d never called me one time since I’d left town. It was for my father, who’d never been one to begin with. Lastly, it was for Noah, who got me to where I was now, even if it was by accident.

It was the hardest performance of my life, especially having to do it over and over again until we had enough recorded to piece it all together.

That night Shelly took me out to dinner to celebrate finishing all twelve tracks in three days. She said that it was rare and I was extremely talented. The feeling was overwhelming, and I broke down a couple times for different reasons. On our way home in the cab we passed the hotel where it all started. My mind went to Noah, and thankfully I was able to contain myself until I got inside of my apartment.

It wasn’t just that I missed him, or our beautiful time we spent together. I think I was just so anxious about my album and my life that I couldn’t take it all coming at me at the same time.

After grabbing a glass of wine, and curling up on the couch I stared at my phone. It had been months since I talked to Noah. For sure he’d moved on and forgotten all about those three last words he’d messaged me. Still, I just wanted to hear his voice. I needed to know he was out there somewhere.

So I called.

He answered on the first ring. “Shalan?”

His voice, that drawl, made me immediately begin to cry harder.

I couldn’t reply. I just hung up the phone without saying anything. I knew he could see it was me calling, but I still hung up anyway.

The phone rang at least ten times after that until I turned it off. I couldn’t talk to him and I knew why. I’d get lost in his voice and do whatever I could to see him. It would be a mistake that I couldn’t risk making.

I had to let him go forever, even if I didn’t know how.

Noah

I’d come to grips with things, and kept busy enough that it was now just a dull ache when I thought about her. At night her face was always the last person I pictured, but I was certain I’d never see her again. Shalan was gone, and she was much better off.

Then, after three months I got that late night call. I’d been lying in my bed trying to fall asleep and my phone rang. I could hear her crying, but she wouldn’t speak. After she hung up I tried to call. If she was in trouble I would have found her and been with her in a heartbeat.

I waited days for a call back, but never got one. Those days turned into weeks and then months.

In that time my cousin and I had gone out a few times on the weekends. She was a good companion, because people just assumed we were a couple. When annoying men or women peaked an interest, we’d talk closer to each other, or I’d put my arm around her, making it look like we were an item. We thought it was funny, and honestly it wasn’t anything we hadn’t done before.