Pawn (The Blackcoat Rebellion #1)(65)
Author: Aimee Carter

Her face crumpled. “I was going to kill him, but he opened his eyes and said my name, and then I heard shouting, and I saw Lila and all that blood…”

“Augusta tried to kill her,” I said. “Lila was trying to protect me or get away or— I don’t know.”

Celia moaned and sank down against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest. “I thought I could take out Daxton and be back up there in time to help her. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t know why I went to Daxton instead.”

I did. Everything Celia had done since I’d met her was angled to get revenge on her family. She had the opportunity to kill the man she thought was her brother, and thinking Lila was safe, she’d taken it. Or at least tried.

Just like me, she hadn’t been able to do it, either. I found a strange sort of comfort in that.

“Augusta’s dead,” I said. “You don’t have to worry about her anymore. You should go see Lila. They’re working on her now, and—and if I were her, I’d want you there.”

I offered my hand to Celia. She hesitated, but she took it, and with effort I helped her back to her feet. When I tried to let go, she held on to me, her fingers cool against mine.

“You are her,” she said, her face inches from mine.

“Whatever happens, if Lila survives or—or doesn’t, you’re her now.”

She let go of me. Confused, I watched her hurry past Benjy and disappear around the corner. He gave me a questioning look, and I shrugged. I had no idea what she meant, either.

I still had to deal with Daxton. I reentered his room cautiously, unsure what would be waiting for me. Had he really forgotten I’d been Masked as Lila?

He lay prone on the bed, and around him various machines beeped and hummed. When I entered, his eyes widened, and he struggled to sit up.

“Lila?” he said in the same cracked voice. “Where did your mother go?”

“She went to deal with something,” I said, looking for any signs that he knew what was happening. “She’ll be back. Do you remember what happened?”

“I was in my office,” he said, and my pulse quickened.

But before I could make any excuses, his eyes clouded with confusion, and he squinted at me. “You were going on your skiing trip with Knox, weren’t you? Do tell me you didn’t put that off for me.”

Skiing. The fist wrapped around my heart relaxed. Was it possible? Did Daxton really not remember any of it?

“Knox—” I cleared my throat. “Knox and I decided to put it off until you’re better.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said in a kind voice that caught me off guard. “I’m just fine.”

And so, it seemed, was I. At least for now.

The doctors confirmed it: Daxton didn’t remember a thing that had happened in the past six weeks. He didn’t remember who I was or how he’d come to be in the coma in the first place. He easily accepted a story about poisoned food, and when I left his room, I breathed a little easier. This changed nothing about what had happened that day, but at least it meant as long as I was careful, my neck wouldn’t be fitted with a noose anytime soon.

Midnight came and went before Knox emerged from the area where doctors were still treating Lila. He’d been covered with Lila’s blood earlier, but he wore a clean pair of white scrubs now.

“She’ll survive,” he said. “It was close, but she’ll be okay.”

“Good,” I said, my voice rough from the nap I’d managed to catch curled up against Benjy. His chest was warm, and I could hear his heart beating as I rested my head against him. I didn’t want to move.

“Kitty,” said Knox. “About what happened in the room…”

I tensed. I wanted to tell him it was all right, that I understood why he’d chosen Lila’s life over Benjy’s, but I couldn’t. Because to me, there was no contest between them. Then again, there likely wasn’t any contest between them for Knox, either.

“She would have killed Benjy no matter what I’d decided,” said Knox. “You have to understand that. I thought you were going to go after Augusta, but when it became clear you weren’t—”

“You decided to give me some incentive?” I said, too drained to put much bite behind it. “If he’d died—”

“But I didn’t,” said Benjy, holding me tighter. “I’m fine.”

Knox cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say. I don’t expect you to understand, but Lila…”

I looked away. If our positions had been reversed, if it had been Benjy bleeding to death and Lila whom Augusta threatened to kill, I would have done the same. That didn’t mean I would forgive Knox anytime soon though.

I took a deep breath. “Did Celia tell you—”

“About Daxton?” Knox nodded. “She’s having Lila moved to the bunker. We have doctors there, and once she’s healed…” He managed a self-deprecating smile. “It wasn’t exactly how I’d planned on keeping my word, but at least she’ll be free to do what she wants. So will Celia.”

“So they’re really disappearing?” I said. My insides constricted. “I mean, that’s good for Lila. She’ll get to be happy. But Celia—”

“It’s the perfect opportunity for her to disappear and lead the Blackcoats full-time,” he said. “She hates this life, and she wants to spend more time with Lila now that she has her back. It’s for the best.”

You’re her now. Suddenly Celia’s words made sense. I hugged Benjy. “No. I’m not staying. I did my part, and Lila’s still alive. You don’t need me anymore.”

Knox grimaced. “I’m sorry, Kitty. I wish you could go, too, but for now, we have a fantastic opportunity.

Everyone in Lila’s hospital room thought she was you.

Everyone thinks you’re her. Lila doesn’t want to do this, but you—”

“You’re going to make me stay.” It wasn’t a question, and I felt Benjy tense beside me. “Knox—”

“I promise you—I promise both of you that I will fix this.” He crouched in front of us. “It kills me to do this when we’ve asked so much of you already, but we need you. The Blackcoats need you. The people need you.

Once it’s done, you have my word that you’ll be Kitty Doe again, and you’ll be free to do whatever you want on the Harts’ dime for the rest of your life.”