Pulse (Page 60)

“Gavin,” Emily whispered, her heart exploding because, in the few seconds he’d kissed her, she felt a love so deep from him, she knew he didn’t understand what they were about to face. “It might not be yours.” She paused, her body trembling as she stared into eyes suddenly empty of emotion. Void of the spark she’d fallen in love with. She heard him swallow, heard his breathing pick up, and she shivered before she continued. “My last period was a few days before you and I were together the first time. I have an idea how far along I might be, but…”

“You’re most likely carrying Dillon’s child.” The brokenness in Gavin’s voice cut through the air. No longer able to hear what he was, he slipped from the bed and started pacing, his mind a complete clusterfuck of emotions he couldn’t come close to dealing with in that moment. Anger at the situation thrust upon him and the woman who filled his life beyond words spread through his body. Reaching for his sweatshirt, he pulled it over his head and looked at Emily. His heart fell when he saw her confused eyes staring back. “I have to leave.”

“What?” Emily breathed, standing. “Where are you going?”

Seeing the panic bleed from her eyes made him feel like an asshole, but he couldn’t stay. Trying to soften the confusion he knew was all over his face, he walked over to her and placed his hand along the delicate curve of her jaw. Her lips trembled as she stared at him, the deep green pools of her eyes begging him not to go. Fuck. Pain ripped through his muscles as he fought to do exactly that. Stay. Talk with her. Figure out how they could make this work. God help him. Though he wanted to, he couldn’t. He needed out, and he needed out now.

Without saying another word to her, Emily watched him turn and make his way out of the room. He took her scarred heart right along with him as he closed the door. The reality that he might not be able to handle the pressure of it all bulldozed through her mind, leaving her speechless and broken. A single tear slipped from her eye as she sucked in a shuddering breath. Once again alone with her thoughts, Emily tried to pull herself together as she flipped off the light next to the bed.

In the darkness, she sank onto the mattress, her gaze catching the shadows dancing across the ceiling. She slid her hand across her stomach, realizing the enormity of the torture to come. Day in and day out of not knowing whose child she was carrying would surely crack her. Emily found herself on a road she didn’t think she would cross so soon in her life. Definitely not under these circumstances. However, she needed to believe there was a reason this was happening. Continuing to cry, she fought hard to find that reason, but she couldn’t. It didn’t appear. As seconds blurred into minutes and minutes disappeared into hours, the only thing she knew she had to find was the missing piece of her heart that’d walked out the room a broken man. Without another thought, she stood, plucked a light jacket from her suitcase, and rushed into the hall. Brushing her tears away, Emily rounded the corner, running right into her sister.

Lisa reached out and steadied Emily by her shoulders. “Jesus, are you okay? I was just coming to check on you. I figured I’d give you some time to yourself.”

Breathing frantically, Emily shook her head and hurried into the kitchen. Lisa followed. Assuming Gavin had taken off in the car he’d bought her, Emily swiped Lisa’s keys from a hook on the wall next to the refrigerator.

“Where are you going?” Lisa asked.

“I have to find him,” Emily breathed, making her way toward the garage.

“He never left.”

Lisa’s words stopped Emily in her tracks. She whipped around. “What?”

“I mean, he didn’t drive away. I think he took a walk down by the pier.”

Emily’s heart stilled for a moment as she replaced the keys on the hook. But that only lasted for a second because as she turned, her heart rate picked back up as she approached the French doors off the side of the den. Swimming in a sea of hurt, she swung them open and stepped out into the cool night air. Shivering from a breeze skirting off the ocean, Emily threw on her jacket and started up a hill, just beyond her sister’s home, leading to weathered wooden stairs.

It didn’t take her long to spot Gavin, and when she did, her breath caught. As Lisa thought, he was sitting on a bench down by the pier, the ambient glow from a dockside light shining above his body. He looked like an angel, but she knew he was in hell. Overlooking the ocean and the man she loved, tiny beads of sweat formed along her forehead. With the wind blowing through her hair, Emily brought her hands up to her mouth and sucked in a breath, trying to find the courage she needed to go to him. Somewhere between remembering what they had been together and what they were always meant to be, Emily found that courage. Up until now, Gavin might’ve only represented a small part of her past, but she needed him to fill every second, minute, and hour of her future, and she wasn’t about to let him go for anything. She couldn’t. She refused.

Gripping the rusty metal railing, she slowly started down the stairs, her pulse fluttering with each step she took. By the time she made it to the sand, Gavin stood from the bench, catching her gaze. In an instant, Emily froze, her breath faltering. As the waves kicked up, pounding against the pier, she watched Gavin make his way toward her. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his eyes locking on hers as he stopped a few feet away. Even with distance separating them, Emily could feel his heart burning through her, felt the undeniable connection they shared.

“I love you, Emily Cooper.” He paused, looked at the ground, then back to her. “I think I loved you before I knew you existed.” His voice was so soft, Emily could barely hear him. He stepped closer and brought his hand to her cheek, his touch gentle as his blue eyes caressed hers. “I’m pretty sure you were in my dreams before you walked into my life. I felt it the first time I saw you. You pulled at me. Took hold of my heart and never let go. Even if you had, I wouldn’t have let you. I wouldn’t have been able to. Something about you was… familiar, and it scared the shit out of me, but I knew somehow we needed one another. I’ve never been a man who believed in any type of fate. I considered it fluffy bullshit women read in romance novels, but sitting down here for the last couple of hours, I started thinking about you and me. Our romance. Our novel.” Once again he paused, his head tilted as he wiped away a tear that’d trickled down her cheek. “Did you know I was supposed to go on that trip to Ohio with Trevor when you were in school?”