Punk 57 (Page 69)

I don’t care about him, and I don’t really like her, so why do I feel my eyes burning and my throat aching with a scream?

I’m not jealous he got from her what he wasn’t getting from me, and I’m not jealous they got off on each other. But why did they feel they could do it behind my back?

I feel a warm hand touch my face. “You know what she’s about just as much as him,” Masen says. “This doesn’t surprise you.”

I shake my head, blinking through the thick tears I can’t stop from welling up. “No,” I barely whisper, staring at the photo.

No, I’m not surprised. I just feel like shit for some reason. The whole time I thought I was winning. I thought I was on top. But behind my back, the people I thought I could handle were handling me. They think I’m stupid, after all. Someone they find easy to humiliate.

Just like before.

I knew Trey wasn’t holding out for me, so I didn’t care. But I did think I had Lyla figured out. I thought I had her respect.

What fun she must have had, standing next me and knowing that she’s getting a piece of someone she thinks I might want.

Fat tears spill over, and I feel a weight on my shoulders. It’s not Trey. It’s not Lyla. It’s me. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.

“You know, I turned into this,” I tell him, my voice cracking and an ache settling behind my eyes, “because I was a kid and I thought there was something more. I traded friends I didn’t think were good enough for friends who really aren’t good enough.”

I blink long and hard, my wet lashes falling against my cheek. “Even Misha gave up on me.”

Masen cups my face gently. “I’m sure Misha has a reason,” he says sadly. “Because there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“There’s so much wrong with me.” A sob shakes my chest, and I cry harder. “I don’t have any friends, Masen.”

I don’t. Not really. I can understand people at school. I got what I deserved. I chose shallow, I acted shallow, and I got nothing that would last.

I don’t know if Ten will stick with me, and now Misha is gone, too. I don’t know what I did, but it had to be something, because when you find that everyone hates you, it’s not them. It’s you.

“You have a friend,” Masen tells me, his tone hard and sure. “The rest of those fucking losers are deadweight. Do you hear me?” He runs his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping away the tears. “You’re beautiful and smart, and you have this fire in you that I’m addicted to.”

Warmth fills my chest, and I raise my eyes to his.

He leans in, forehead to forehead. “You’re an incredible pain in the ass, but God, I love y—” He stops, and my breath catches in my throat.

“It,” he finishes. “I love it. I can’t get enough. I think about you all the time.”

I sniffle, taking some deep breaths and wiping my tears. My heart skipped a beat there. It almost sounded like he was going to say something else.

“Let’s just get out of here, okay?” I pull away, replacing the board in the drawer and closing it. I know he hasn’t found what he needs, but I have to get out of here. I need a shower after those pictures, or I want to do something with Masen and forget coming here.

Gathering up the pictures, I head out of the room and take a left to head down the stairs. But Masen grabs my arm, stopping me.

“What are you going to do with those pictures?”

“Burn them,” I answer. “He probably printed them, because he didn’t want his parents finding them in his phone, so he won’t have copies. I wouldn’t put it past him to be showing these to his friends.”

But Masen shakes his head. Taking them out of my hand, he makes a U-turn and opens the parents’ bedroom door.

“What are you doing?” I whisper-yell.

But then I see him throw out his hand, sending the pictures flying all over the room, falling to the floor and even the bed.

“Oh, my God.” I choke out a laugh and cover my mouth.

“Let the parents sort him out,” Masen says, taking my hand and closing the door behind us.

I laugh quietly, but I still laugh. I can’t stop. The Burrowes will definitely know someone was in their house tonight, but judging from the photos, they’ll probably just assume it’s a disgruntled girl pissed at Trey.

We leave the house, going out the same way we came in, and hurriedly hop into his truck, looking around to make sure there’s no one around.

The street is dark and quiet, and Masen starts the engine, getting us out of there.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted.”

He gives me a weak smile. “I got what I want.”

Flutters hit my stomach, and I bring up my hand, running my fingertips over the top of his hand that’s resting on the console.

After a couple minutes, he pulls up in front of my house and puts the truck in Park, leaving the engine running.

I sit up and lean over to him, not wanting to say goodnight.

Never wanting him to leave, actually.

“There’s a tree house in the back yard,” I look up at him teasingly. “You game?”

He smiles. “I would love to. But I have something to do right now,” he tells me, whispering in my ear.

I feel disappointment, but I brave it and plaster on a flat expression like I always do.

“Do me a favor, though?” he asks, kissing my cheek slow and soft. “Make sure the key’s under the pot. And don’t touch yourself tonight. Save it for the morning when I can watch.”