Raw(73)
Author: Belle Aurora

A stupid part of my brain wishes he’ll hear the news and vow to be a better man, starting that very minute. The realist part of my brain scoffs.

Not likely.

I’m prepared to do this alone though.

I won’t lie. Having a piece of Twitch inside of me…it feels nice.

Clutching the remote with a death grip, I can’t seem to look away as they accuse Michael of being everything he wasn’t. I want to stand and shout, “You didn’t know him!”

My blood boils.

I click to TV off and throw down the remote.

If there’s anything this situation has taught me it’s that life is short, and if you want something, you have to reach out with both hands and grip it tightly.

I smile to myself.

Good or bad mood, today is the day Twitch finds out I’m pregnant.

I hope for the best while expecting the worst.

Nikki and Dave sit before me, mouths gaping in stunned silence.

I wait patiently for their reactions while I sip at my green tea.

Dave is the first to break. “Pregnant, as in, you’re having a baby? Or pregnant, as in, you’re so full of emotions that you’re pregnant with them, and you could burst at any moment, showering the people of Sydney with a mixture of happy and sad?”

Nikki and I both turn to look at him wearing identical expression of confusion.

His shoulders slump. “Oh dear God. You’re pregnant with sexy demon spawn.”

I smile sadly. “Oh, be nice. He’s not that bad. He’s…” My mind wanders back to the other night. “He knows he needs help. He’s asking for help.”

Nikki reaches across the café table and rests her warm hand on mine. “I know you’re going to be the best momma ever. I just know it. And if Twitch is ready for that, then I’ll support you both one-hundred percent. I know you’d never do a thing to harm your child.”

She’s right. I wouldn’t.

Dave tuts, “Babe, I just don’t get how you let this happen. This was a dumbass thing to do. You barely know the guy.”

Nikki smacks him and I’m thankful for it. I don’t need to hear this right now.

Dave shrugs and mouths, “What?”

At seeing my defeated expression, he caves with a roll of his eyes. “I’m not saying that this is a bad thing. But it could be better, right? And I know with losing Michael you’re on an emotional high right now. I just don’t want you to make any decisions on impaired judgement.” Shuffling his chair close to mine, he wraps an arm around me. I lean into him. “I love you. And whatever decision you make, I’ll be standing right by your side. Like you stood by me. And fought for me.”

And I love him again. The rat bastard.

Playing with my teacup, I avoid their eyes. “I wanted to tell you guys first. I don’t know how this is going to go, but I have faith. He hasn’t told me he loves me yet…” I look up at them both, determination in my eyes. I whisper, “…but I feel it. I know he loves me. It’s almost like he’s afraid to say it. As if it’ll mean he’s weak or something.”

Nikki nods. “Loving someone is a weakness, Lex. You’re handing your heart up on a silver platter for someone to use as they please. You have to have a lot of faith in that person to do that.” She sighs, “You haven’t told us anything about the drug dealing accusations being thrown around, and by you not telling us it’s preposterous, it’s a thing. A real deal kind of thing. So instead of lecturing you, I’ll say this. Someone like Twitch declaring his love for someone is totally a weakness.”

My heart stutters.

They know.

Nikki goes on. “You think on it. Someone who’s got issues with Twitch suddenly has issues with you. It doesn’t have to be personal.” My eyes widen. She’s right. She leans forward and whispers, “Someone who’s got issues with Twitch…” she pauses, “…has issues with your child.”

Nope. I did not think of that.

My heart races.

Dave remains tight-lipped but I can see he wants to say something. I ask, “You got something to add?”

He whooshes out in a rush, “Oh, thank you!” Clearing his throat, he utters, “If you’re serious about this guy, you got to be prepared for what comes with a man in his lifestyle.” He says everything I’m happily blocking out. “Drugs, misery, addiction, women.” He looks at me apologetically. “A man like Twitch doesn’t lock himself down to one woman, baby. I’m sorry, but they don’t.”

Tapping the edge of my teacup with my fingernail, I take in the sudden silence with thanks.

I have a lot to think about.

Chapter Twenty Eight

I stare hard at the photo in my shaking hand.

Rage coils low in my gut.

Michael’s limp body in Happy’s arms as Happy tries to escape the carnage that is the ambush.

Turning the photo over, I read.

Everyone you love will die.

Pressure builds in my head as I read the next sentence.

She’s next.

Blood roars in my ears.

As soon as I saw the handwriting, I knew who this came from.

A Persian with one eye just summoned himself a death wish.

Which leaves me with one choice.

It’s time for Lexi to hurt.

Standing before the gorgeous carved mahogany that is Twitch’s office doors, I hesitate to knock.

Swallowing hard, I turn my head to the left and spot Ling staring holes into my head.

God forbid the woman smile. I think her face would crack.

Turning to my right, I spot Happy sitting on the edge of a desk giving instructions to a male employee, his arm in a sling. He sees me and my heart stutters. His eyes meet mine and I see pain flash across his features. I know he feels responsible for what happened to Michael.

I’m not stupid. It wasn’t his fault. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to look at him. Alive and well.

My brows furrow.

What am I waiting for? I need to do this.

Placing my hand on the doorknob, I enter without knocking. I steel myself for this encounter, mentally giving myself a pep-talk. Twitch loves me, whether he’ll admit it or not. I know it.

He’s it for me.

I’ll never love someone the way I love him. My love for him is almost desperate.

Approaching his desk, I smile. “Hey baby, can we talk?”

Without looking up at me, he answers on a sigh, “Seriously, Lexi, I can’t just drop everything when you need to chat. We’ll talk later. You’re at my place tonight, by the way.”