Redeem Me (Kin #6)(13)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Is that really how it was going to turn out?

Surely I’d not let myself go through this for a second time. I was too smart to undergo this kind of torture twice. This was it.

I hated love without Parker, and I hated myself for pushing him away.

I sat up for hours, contemplating calling him back. Finally, when my nerves couldn’t take it any longer, I sent him a message.

I’m glad you called me tonight. I love you. – Cameron

He never replied, and as the hours passed I knew that he probably wouldn’t even remember contacting me. I was still in the same place as before. My heart was broken, and there was nothing I could do to convince him that he should forgive me. A part of me wondered if I even needed forgiveness at all. He was clearly hiding something, and now he’d slipped and said more about it.

Since I’d lost everything, I knew I had to let it go. It has cost me my happiness, and taught me a lesson about keeping my nose out of other people’s affairs. Maybe Parker was right. Maybe the secret was better off buried.

Chapter 9

Parker

I woke up with one hell of a hangover. After sitting up in bed I realized that I was still at the beach house. My clothes reminded me that I’d changed and gone out with my brother. Slowly pieces of the night were coming back to me.

I checked my phone to find the time and saw a message from Cameron. That’s when I realized that I’d called her. Just to double check, I looked at my call log, noticing her number close to midnight. It said that we’d talked for four minutes, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what about.

My biggest fears were that I’d told her my secret. Then I noticed she’d texted me well after our phone call, and it didn’t seem like she was angry.

Still, I had to know for sure. I needed to make certain that Cameron wasn’t going to cause problems for my brother.

I knew that calling her was only going to cause us both more pain. Reluctantly, I dialed her number and waited to hear her voice; the voice of the woman that I’d never stop loving.

“Parker. I didn’t think I’d hear from you today.”

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t know if I said anything that might upset you.”

She sighed. “Everything upsets me these days. I guess it’s part of moving on.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, even though I really didn’t. The last thing I wanted was to picture her moving on. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way, Cam. Believe me when I say that.”

I could hear her crying on the other end of the call. It broke my heart hurting her, especially when none of my feelings had changed. This was a sacrifice that I had to make for my family, whether I liked it or not, I had to stick with the decision.

“I don’t want to be without you, though. This isn’t fair. You’re punishing me for wanting to know everything about you.”

“So obviously I can’t be trusted. That should give you enough reason to know we shouldn’t be together.”

“I don’t know what you’re hiding, but I hope this was worth it. Please don’t call me anymore, Parker. I can’t handle hearing your voice.”

She hung up before I could respond. It was good that she did, because every minute on the phone with her was making me feel like I needed to change my mind.

Shayne walked into the room as I was sitting my phone back down on the table beside me. “You want some coffee? I’ve got to head out soon. I miss Ash and the kids. She’s not used to me bein’ away overnight.”

“I’ll get some. You go on and head home to your family. I’m just goin’ to hang out for a while to clear my head.”

Shayne sat down next to me. I watched his face contort, as if he was struggling to find the words to say to me. “Parker, I want you to know how much I appreciate what you’ve given me. You’re the most unselfish person that I’ve ever met. It’s a shame that everyone else can’t see it.”

“We were raised that family comes first. I know I was an ass**le, but the moment I knew your intentions were true, I had to make the right choice for everyone.”

“I know what you’re givin’ up. Last night you couldn’t shut up about it.”

“Yeah, well it’s too late to change anything. The damage is done, and I’m just goin’ to figure out the best way to move forward.”

My brother put his hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, you know you can call me. I’ll be there for you, no matter what.”

We had a moment, before he headed out, and I don’t think my brother could ever know what it meant to me to have his support. He’d be the last person that I expected to have my back, and there he was, promising that I’d never be alone.

I spent the day on the beach, alone, listening to the waves crashing as they came to land. The wind whipped, making the heat of the sun bearable. I wasn’t there to get a tan. Instead, I knew it was the one place where I could clear my head, and reflect on everything that had happened to me in the last few years.

The ironic thing was that this all started in the room that I’d spent the night in. Then we’d ended up on this very beach that I sat on. That one night had ruined my future, and if I didn’t love my brother so much I would have regretted it. Seeing the happiness in his eyes when he was near the twins was what let me know that things happen for a reason. Shayne was meant to be with Ashley in her time of need. He was meant to fall in love with her, and stick by her side when she almost lost her life. My actions all led to this very moment, and although I didn’t have the girl that I wanted, I found some peace in knowing that my brother did.

At the end of the day I still felt like shit, but I had a better understanding as to why I’d made the right choice.

This was my punishment. Karma was paying me back, and I deserved every bit of it.

It was just unfortunate that I had to hurt Cam. She hadn’t done anything wrong.

That’s what was eating me up inside.

Cameron

His call hadn’t made me feel better. I had to hang up the phone, because one more second talking to him was going to kill me. I don’t know why I did it, but I found myself driving to my parent’s house. They’d never been there for my personal problems, but I had nowhere else to go for advice. Of course, they didn’t like Parker, so it was obvious what they’d want me to do. I just hope they had a solution for me, because I was so distraught that I couldn’t focus on anything else.