Redeem Me (Kin #6)(21)
Author: Jennifer Foor

Like was such a juvenile word. “He’s a nice man.”

“That’s not what I was askin’ you. Are you interested in that guy, Cam?”

“What does it even matter? Just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean it’s going to change what’s happened.”

“Yes or no.” He still wouldn’t let it go.

“I can’t like anyone when I’m still in love with you. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted; to break me down and make me feel like shit?”

He sighed and turned to look away from me. “Did you f**k him?”

His choice of words weren’t what I would have selected. “Do you think I did?”

My lips were trembling even before he answered. “Yeah.”

“I wanted to.” I wasn’t going to lie. “I wanted to be with someone who didn’t push me away.”

“Good for you.” He stood up and walked toward the window. In one swift move he shoved everything off the dresser, sending things flying all over the carpet. “This is just f**kin’ great!”

I’d seen Parker lose his temper, but never been the real cause of it. “I didn’t go through with it,” I whispered.

He turned slowly, his eyes full of anger. “What?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t sleep with Seth. I could have, but I didn’t.”

His shoulders relaxed, and I watched as he slowly calmed down. “Why not?”

“You know why.” It was okay that he wanted a reason, but I was sure he already knew what it was.

Parker closed the distance between us, coming to stand directly in front of me. He lifted my chin and repeated the question. “Why not?”

I never flinched when I responded. “Because you showed up, and I felt like I was betraying you. Because you’re the only man I want to be with.”

He pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me again. I began to cry again, losing it for the umpteenth time. He had to know how much all of this was hurting me. I, at least, hoped that he did.

“I can’t be without you, Cam. I can’t do it.” He held both sides of my face and looked into my eyes once more. “We’ve got to find a way to make this work.”

Just hearing him offer that brought more feelings to the table. I became overawed with hope.

“I’ll do anything.”

He took two steps back, releasing his hands from my face. “Anything?”

“Yes. Just tell me what you want.”

“Cam, I need you to forget about the shit with my family. You’ve got to let it go, and never bring it up again. I get that it’s askin’ you a lot, but it’s got nothin’ to do with you and me. I made a promise to certain people, and I won’t go back on it. I’m sorry, but it’s got to be this way.”

“Okay.”

He seemed shocked that I was so aggressive with my answer. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “I’m positive. I won’t ever ask you about it again. I won’t meddle in your family drama. Parker, I’ll do anything. I’m serious. These days without you have been torture. I miss you so much.”

He held out his hand. When I offered mine, he pulled me close. Our lips brushed. “I won’t ask about you and that guy anymore. We both need to leave the past alone and move forward. You’re all I need in my life. All the rest of the shit is irrelevant.”

After being so confused I finally had Parker back in my life. It was going to be difficult, but I was determined to get over whatever he was keeping from telling me. No matter what it was, I did believe that it had nothing to do with our relationship. Maybe one day he’d want to let me in, but for the meantime, I had to respect his wishes.

I never did get dressed. Instead I climbed in bed next to Parker and let him hold me. It was surprising that he didn’t want to be intimate. I think in the back of his mind he was still disgusted over me messing around with someone else.

It felt like I’d cheated, even though I knew it wasn’t the case. It didn’t matter anyway. Being with Seth didn’t keep my thoughts of Parker away. They’d only made me feel worse inside.

It was nice to be back in my lover’s arms, having him hold me tight. Every once in a while we’d kiss, and I’d feel so overcome with joy. Our time apart had only proven that our love was real. The intense feelings that I shared with Parker had brought us back together. I was fully aware of the saying ‘sometimes love isn’t enough’. We didn’t just have love though. We had friendship, and trust. I knew he had secrets, but in my heart I understood why. He’d never hurt me, and I needed to make sure I never hurt him.

Parker fell asleep shortly after we’d climbed into bed. As exhausted as I was, I stayed up for a while longer staring at him. I didn’t mean to gawk like a teenager, but it’s exactly what I was doing. I’d gone from falling apart to being utterly ecstatic. Those kinds of mood swings weren’t something I was privy to.

I was going to need to apologize to Seth for my actions. I had no idea what I’d say to him, or even if it mattered. He’d probably lost any desire to befriend me anyway. Not only had I rejected him, but I’d probably humiliated him as well. I was so glad that we hadn’t had sex, because I knew I would have never been able to forgive myself.

Once I’d finally settled down, I closed my eyes and found peace. Tomorrow was another day, but at least I knew I wouldn’t be doing it alone.

I had Parker back, and although things were far from perfect, I was going to take what I could get.

Chapter 15

Parker

Nothing was really solved.

I still had a huge secret that I was keeping from Cameron, and she’d messed around with a guy, which rubbed me the wrong way. The damage was done, but I couldn’t let her go. There was no way that I was going to let her slip away from me, not after feeling what it was like to be without her.

I woke that morning next to my naked girlfriend. She was nestled up close, her arm flung over my chest. I climbed out of bed to relieve myself, and returned, hoping that I hadn’t woken her. In just those few seconds I found her sitting up looking around the room. She messed with her hair, trying her hardest to settle down the mess from sleeping. “Hi.”

It was easy to get back into the warm bed since she was in it. I pulled off my shirt before letting her climb on top of me. “My dad’s going to freak out on me. We should probably leave before he gets up.”