Redeem Me (Kin #6)(39)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“That doesn’t matter. Look in the backseat and tell me they’re not a reminder of what we did that night.”

I’d already begun to cry. It couldn’t be happening, I thought to myself. This had to be a nightmare. Was that Ashley’s voice that he was speaking to?

“This is not the conversation that I wanted to have with you, Ash. Look, I’m glad you’re married to my brother. I envy what the two of you have, but I’m not tryin’ to take your kids away. I signed over my rights when you were pregnant, and I’ve never regretted it. Cameron is never goin’ to know the twins are mine. I’ll take it to my grave.”

There it was.

The big secret that he’d begged me to leave alone.

The twins belonged to Parker.

It explained everything, and I didn’t know how in the world I’d ever be able to look at him the same again. I began to hyperventilate, falling onto the bed and pulling my legs up against my chest. While trying to wrap my head around what I’d just heard, my phone began to ring again. I wondered if it was just another butt dial, and if so, what else would I hear when I picked up the call?

Against my better judgment I lifted the phone to my ear only to hear Parker on the line, telling me we were going to have dinner with his family.

That was the last thing I wanted to do. There was no way I could ever look at Ashley and those twins the same way again.

THE TWINS WERE PARKERS.

Oh my God this couldn’t be happening to me. My insides were being torn apart as I attempted to imagine how all of this had happened. It wasn’t just that I felt uneasy, and betrayed. It was the fact that this family had a tremendous secret that they all thought they could bury.

I started doing the math in my head, realizing that Parker and I had started dating when Ashley was pregnant. I remember Shayne coming around, and a certain private conversation that I’d witnessed them having.

Suddenly everything began to make sense.

The whispers at parties.

The way they’d been so close to Parker, and then turned their backs on him.

It all made sense.

Shaking, and feeling like I was in a literal nightmare, I tried to psych myself out of my current mental state. Parker loved me, and I was carrying his child. I had to figure out a way to get over this, so that we could be happy.

After nearly an hour I was sitting on the bathroom floor, vomiting, and clearly in no condition to be able to rationalize with what had occurred.

In a matter of seconds everything I thought I’d known had been proven a lie. I couldn’t deny my immediate jealousy I had for Ashley, or how Parker was with her, discussing the twins. I wondered if Shayne was aware of their friendship, or even if it bothered him at all? The longer I dwelled on the phone call, the sicker I got. In fact, it got so bad that I actually fell asleep on that cold tile floor, while crying, and reaching for hope that no longer existed.

At some point Parker was going to come home. He’d suspect that everything was okay. I, however, knew I couldn’t look at him the same. He’d fathered two children and written them off to party at college, and date someone else. How could I ever be able to accept that he wanted to be a father to my child that was growing inside of me?

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. Being that I was till lying in the bathroom floor, I rose to my feet quickly, so that I wouldn’t alarm Parker. It took me a couple seconds to recall what had put me there. As soon as I walked into the main room, I saw him standing there. He had a smile on his face, and seemed so content.

It made me cringe. How could he look at me day after day, knowing he had two children, and act like he was this innocent guy? I felt like I didn’t know him at all.

As he approached, I turned my head. “What’s wrong?” He ran his hand over my cheek.

I wanted to cry, but knew I couldn’t lead on that I knew his dirty little secret. I couldn’t say anything at all until I could figure out what I was going to do. It wasn’t as if I had a ton of options. I could call my parents and go back to being controlled, or I could stay, forever knowing that those twins belonged to Parker, not Shayne. “Nothing. I’m fine. It’s been a long day and I’m headed to bed.”

“Did you finish proofin’ the term paper?”

“No. I still need to proof it a few more times.” The small talk was making my head spin.

“That’s my girl; always makin’ things perfect.” He smiled and pulled off his shirt. It let me know he was going to join me in bed. I didn’t know how to get him to leave me alone without putting some kind of worry over him. “Hey, Ash said she’s been savin’ all the twin’s clothes, so whatever we have we’ll have a shit-ton of baby stuff. That’s goin’ to help, don’t ya think?”

The idea of getting clothes from the woman that he shared secret twins with rubbed me the wrong way. Again I had something else that was making my stomach twirl. “Yeah, that will be great.” I pointed toward the bed. “I’m just going to go to sleep now. I’ll keep my ear buds in so you can watch the sports network.” I kissed him on the cheek, quickly, so that I wouldn’t get emotional from the contact. “Goodnight, Parker.”

He followed me into the bed, wrapping his arms around me. I closed my eyes, pretending that it didn’t bother me. “I ran into your dad earlier. That’s why Ash had to come to school and get me. He said he was watchin’ me, and that he’d have me followed until I led him right to you. I was so afraid he’d find you and take you away from me, Cam. God, I love you so much.” He kissed the back of my head, making me feel even more confused.

My parents had hurt me, but Parker’s secret was destroying me. It’s no wonder he couldn’t tell me the truth, because he knew I’d never be able to understand. The fact that his brother had let Parker around those kids made me wonder if he’d lost his mind. How could he be okay with knowing that his brother had slept with his wife? They obviously weren’t together at the time, but it still wasn’t right. I was in the state of utter shock.

While attempting to control my body from shaking profusely, Parker nestled himself closer to me. I felt trapped, like there was nowhere to escape from this type of horror.

I had a big decision to make; one that couldn’t be taken lightly. Could I stay with Parker and live with what he’d done, or would I have to walk away, allowing my parents to do what they thought was best for me?

Those questions were heavy on my heart as I tried to close my eyes. For now there was a baby growing inside of me. I was already in love with it, and didn’t know how to make a decision when all I wanted to do was be his or her mother.