Reject Me (Kin #5)(13)
Author: Jennifer Foor

“A friend?” I had my hand on the door handle when he asked. “When did that happen?”

“Does it matter?” I needed to say my goodbyes and get back in the car with Wayne. He didn’t need to be involved in mine and Jamey’s never ending issues.

Jamey gave me this half smile and scratched his head. “I guess it doesn’t. Good to see you’ve moved on.”

“You should too.” I almost choked on the words.

“See you around, Pey.”

I got in the car and stared forward instead of watching my heart walk away from me. Wayne pulled away from the curb before addressing the situation. “I take it that was the ex?”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?”

I kept looking forward. “I’m not sure.”

I felt his hand grabbing mine. It was the first type of physical contact that we’d had, other than a hug here or there. This meant something, and I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for whatever it implied. “You’ll be fine, Peyton. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” Just as quickly as he’d touched me, he pulled away and put both hands on the steering wheel.

We spent the rest of the ride in silence. I had nothing to say to what had just happened. Clearly I wasn’t over Jamey. Just seeing him had brought back all of the feelings that I’d been keeping bottled up deep inside of me. I missed him, and the love that we shared that he never let anyone else see. It was there, I was sure of it.

That night, while sitting in my room going over my schedule for the next day I got a text message from Jamey. It wasn’t surprising since we’d just seen each other, but it didn’t make it any easier for me to gain the courage to read it.

I held my phone with shaky hands and opened the message.

I can’t stop thinking about you. – J

It was a mistake. I shouldn’t have replied, but I couldn’t help myself.

Same here. – P

Come see me. – J

I can’t. – P

I want you. – J

My heart began to beat so fast. He didn’t know how many nights I’d cried myself to sleep over him. He couldn’t understand how hard it was to see everyone around me so damn happy while I was falling apart. They all thought I was just some kid. They’d never think of me as a woman with needs, who yearned to be with the one man she shouldn’t be with.

Don’t do this to me. I’m trying to make good choices. –P

It’s just one night. You can go back to hating me in the morning. – J

I don’t hate you. –P

Then come over and prove it. – J

If I come over there I will never hear the end of it. – P

I won’t tell if you won’t. – J

I looked around the room and saw nothing but loneliness. Longing to be touched, appreciated, and consumed by a man had taken over all of my decision making. I couldn’t rationalize with myself about right and wrong. I had to go to him, because it was all I wanted to do.

I pulled up at Jamey’s house and saw that only his car was in the driveway. He met me at the door, leaning against it with a head full of wet hair that glistened against the outside light. “I knew you’d come.”

“I shouldn’t have.” I walked up each step, feeling like I was floating instead. Being this close to him, knowing we were all alone, it was just too exciting. Our faces were so close. His eyes, so brown, looked almost painful. “Just one night, Jamey. This changes nothin’.”

He reached out and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “I’ll take what I can get.”

The moment our lips met I forgot all about our time apart. It was as if the world stopped spinning. I couldn’t understand how something that felt so right could be so wrong.

Chapter 8

Jamey

It had been too long.

My game was off and she was the reason for it. As much as I wanted to be inside of her again, the idea of her being so close to me was enough to satisfy the hunger. Her lips were everything that I remembered. The way her tongue knew my pace, and how her body responded to my touch, it was all so natural. Being with Peyton was never like hooking up with a random chick. She knew me, and I knew her.

My time in jail was the most boring experience. I sat in a cell with some crack head that stole a grand from his boss. He never shut up.

At night I laid awake thinking about a lot of things, mostly Peyton, and how I’d hurt her. She’d left me for good reasons and I didn’t blame her anymore for my problems. I knew she wasn’t at fault for anything I was going through. All of it was on me.

Her kisses filled me with desire. After spending the afternoon sulking that she’d moved on I had her back in my arms. She was mine, even if only for the night.

While pulling away from our kiss, I watched her eyes slowly open. “I missed that.”

I leaned forward and pecked her lips, one at a time. “Me too.”

“So, you got me here. Are you happy with yourself?”

I shrugged. “You are naked in my bed.”

I didn’t mean to sound shallow, like I only wanted to have sex with her, albeit it’s how it came out.

“That’s all I am still, just a f**k?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Prove it to me, Jamey. What am I to you?”

“Right now, or before you walked out of my life?” I was confused already.

She pulled out of my arms and threw her hands in the air. “You’re hopeless.” When she started to walk back down the steps I grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to face me again.

“Pey, wait. You know you were more than that, okay?”

I saw the hate in her eyes turn to something else. It was desperation. She wanted me to need her and I did, however coming to grips with that myself was harder than she thought. She was asking me to be someone different; someone that I didn’t know how to be. I wasn’t romantic, nor was I the kind of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve. I told it like it was. I said what I wanted. It was clear.

“I want more.”

“I’ll try.” It was a promise.

I hated that she was putting her clothes back on.

She took a step forward, breaking the distance between us. “You better.”

Our lips met again, and this time I wasn’t willing to let them break apart. I needed to be sure she wasn’t going to walk out on me again. Getting her up to my room was the only way to make that happen.

By the time I got her upstairs I’d already removed my shirt and unfastened her bra. Peyton wasn’t fighting me, giving me reason to continue. I’d never needed to feel her close to me like I needed her at that very moment. She’d consumed my thoughts, and even my dreams. Admitting she was special wasn’t going to be hard, it was everything else that came with it that I would struggle with, it was coming to grips with being monogamous.