Reject Me (Kin #5)(34)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I reached for her again, this time grabbing the fabric of her dress. She turned to look out into the ocean. “You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t have come to dinner if you hated me. You wouldn’t have kissed me last night.”

“It was a mistake,” she interrupted.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and felt her body shaking as she cried. “Don’t say that. You don’t make mistakes, Peyton. I’m the one who f**ks everything up. I’m the one who couldn’t see what was right in front of me. You’ve always been perfect.”

“Please don’t.” She wiggled until my hands weren’t touching her, then turned to face me. Her finger pointed in my direction. “You ripped out my heart. So many nights I sat up waitin’ for you to come home to me. I loved you with everything I had in me and you shit on it. You shit on me, and everything I thought we had.”

I pointed back at her, noticing the sun going down behind the horizon. “I told you not to label what we had. I never promised to be faithful, and you know it. I never gave you false hope. You’re the one who insisted that we be monogamous.”

She slapped me hard across the face. I grabbed her wrist and held it as she spoke. “I hate you.”

“You don’t.” I let her hand fall and grabbed her by the waist pulling her against me. “If you hated me then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

She refused to look at me. “Just leave me alone. I can’t forgive you.”

“Why?”

“Because you slept with them. Don’t you get it? You’ve destroyed me time and time again. I feel like an idiot. You were out f**kin’ girls while I sat in your bed waitin’ for you. How many times did you come home and f**k me right after them? How many?”

“None.” There was a couple times where I could have, but I wouldn’t have done that to Peyton, even though she was better than all of them put together. “I may have screwed around with them, but they’d never be you. None of them have ever been in my bed.”

“Oh that’s just great. Should I feel special now?” Her sarcasm was better than getting hit upside the head again.

“Look at me.”

She refused.

“God damn it, Peyton, look at me.” She turned slowly, finally gracing me with those tear-filled eyes. Then she saw what she’d be refusing to notice. She saw my pain, my regret, and my loss. “I’m in love with you, Peyton. Can’t you see that? Look at me and tell me that I’m lyin’. Jesus, how much more do I have to sacrifice to prove it to you?”

She just stood there, crying while looking at me. Her lack of words let me know what I feared. All of my efforts had been for nothing. “We’re over for good aren’t we?”

She nodded, but didn’t answer.

I couldn’t take it anymore. There wasn’t any way I could stand there watching her break my heart again. I’d done everything she’d asked me. I’d come clean. I’d changed. I’d worked so hard to make her see. Nothing worked.

I had to walk away.

I never looked back as I walked away from her. The waves came in soaking my ankles, but I kept moving until the dark of night filled the sky. When I knew I was all alone I sat down underneath a lifeguard stand and finally let my emotions go. I didn’t care if someone heard me, because my reason for living hated my guts.

Chapter 19

Peyton

It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Unlike the times before it, this one stung unbelievably. My heart felt like it was shattering inside of me. I felt as if a dagger was being stabbed in my back.

When I arrived at the beach house I was met with two sets of concerned eyes. Ashley didn’t question me as I fell into her arms. I clung to her, letting the tears pour down my face.

“I told you this was a bad idea, Peyton. What were you thinkin’?”

“Don’t, babe. Give it a rest until she can tell us what happened.” Ashley was determined to shut my brother up, and I loved her for it.

Once I finally calmed down enough to take a drink of water, Ashley sat down next to my brother and waited patiently for me to respond to their concerns. “I had to leave. I couldn’t hear it anymore. It hurt too much.” My words came out with so much emotion that I wasn’t sure they could understand me.

“What are you sayin’? Did he hurt you, because if he did I’ll -.”

“No. He never laid a hand on me. Jamey wouldn’t do that.”

“Then what. Pey? What happened?” Ashley was so kind with her questions. It was the mother in her.

“You don’t understand,” I kept rambling. “I love him. It’s hurts too much. We can’t be together.”

“You’re not makin’ any sense, sis.”

I collapsed, falling to the floor before I could explain. I understand how irrational I must have seemed, but my body wouldn’t let me respond in any other way. I was giving up, and letting myself succumb to the depths of loneliness.

My very concerned brother picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. Ashley followed close behind making sure I was comfortable, and that I didn’t need anything. I rolled over so that they couldn’t see my face. The agony of what I was going through had been brought on from devastation. I knew better than to ask about things I never wanted to know. Now I had to live with the truth, knowing that it would forever taint the love that I had for Jamey.

After trying to pry what happened out of me with no result, my brother finally gave up, leaving me alone. Once they’d all gone to bed I lay there restless. I knew that Jamey cheating was nothing new. I’d suspected it for a long time. I think hearing him admit to it opened up a lot of old wounds that I’d buried deep inside.

The sound of something on the window startled me. I sat up in the bed and pulled the covers over my body. A mini-blind prevented me from seeing outside, but the image of a person stood on the other side. Without looking I knew who it was. Last year I’d told him what window was mine so that I could sneak him inside without my brother seeing us. Ever since our dad had given him back his key he’d acted like he was in charge of who was allowed to come inside.

This time I wasn’t excited to see him. In fact looking at him was only going to make matters worse. On the other hand the pain of what had occurred earlier had made me irrational. The mere thought of Jamey being able to take the pain away gave me some kind of false hope. I knew it wasn’t real, but I was desperate to feel it.