Reject Me (Kin #5)(35)
Author: Jennifer Foor

It’s what made me rush to that window and unlock it. Jamey stood there, in the dim lit yard. His eyes were glossed over and puffy. I couldn’t look at them without feeling more hurt. “Why are you here?”

“Because I care about you.”

“You should have thought about that before you cheated on me.” The mere mention made me jealous.

He scratched his head, but climbed through the window after a second’s thought. “You’re right.”

“I didn’t say you could come inside.”

“I’m not a f**kin’ vampire, Pey. I don’t have to be invited into your room, and I certainly don’t have to have permission to do this.” He reached over and pulled me against his chest. I wanted to hit him, to scream out so that my brother would come in and kick his ass, but my bones wouldn’t let me. I stood there motionless while his arms wrapped tightly around my back. “Please don’t push me away, Pey. I’m so sorry, baby. I know you’ll never be with me, but I can’t stand to watch you hurtin’. Just let me hold you. Please, just let me.”

I nodded and sobbed against his chest, feeling him kissing the top of my head. “This changes nothin’, Jamey. I can’t forgive you.”

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

My arms clenched the back of his shirt as if I was holding on for dear life. Having him there, comforting me, it wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced with him. While I was crying, I could feel his own shaking. Never in my life could I imagine Jamey breaking down the way he was. Knowing that I was the reason made me sympathize with him. I may have hated what he did to us, but I still loved him.

I’m not really sure how it happened, but we ended up back in my bed, dressed of course, and not in a romantic way at all. Jamey was behind me, with both of his arms wrapped firmly around my torso. I don’t think he would have let go even I tried to get away.

I couldn’t admit it to him, but I didn’t remember the last time that I felt so safe. Being in his arms, having him hold me so desperately, it gave me this sense of security that I’d obviously been lacking in my life. This was the man I loved, no matter what he’d done I couldn’t stop. I know I said that I hated him, but it wasn’t true. I was just so angry, so damn hurt that the lies kept piling up. I knew they were a long time ago, but it felt the same as being only days before. Betrayal was evil. It was a deadly sin that no person wanted to deal with.

After being silent for a little while, Jamey adjusted to face me. He ran the back of his hand over my jawline. “Are you mad at me for comin’ over?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to leave?” I could see the torture in his eyes as he waited for my reply.

“You probably should.” I paused, knowing that if I asked him to leave I’d be alone again, left to cry in misery. “But I don’t want you to.”

He smiled, while still looking deep into my eyes. “Why?”

It was a difficult question to answer. I didn’t want to give him false hope, but I certainly didn’t want to lie. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Your family is here with you.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He kissed the side of my head. “I know what you meant, because I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks. Nothin’ feels right. I’m just goin’ through the motions, tryin’ to figure out how to make things right. I know you told me to leave you alone, but I can’t do it. I can’t get you out of my head. It’s makin’ me crazy.” Jamey picked my hand up and kissed it. I hated how connected I felt to him. Where I should have been disgusted, all I wanted was to be right where we were, in a full-on embrace.

“Just hold me,” I felt myself getting choked up again as I spoke. “Don’t talk.”

Jamey did I as requested and held me in silence. The room felt like it was spinning around as every different emotion possible came to mind. I’d confronted my demons and left myself vulnerable, and weak. I wasn’t able to sustain from wanting him close to me.

As impossible as my situation was, I knew that I wasn’t going to let him leave my bed.

A little while later Jamey had fallen asleep. I continued to lie there staring at him resting so peacefully. Then I did something that I knew was a bad idea, yet I still went through with it. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, just wanting to feel what it was like again. I was gutted, yet still needed his touch.

His eyes opened with surprise. For a moment I thought he was going to pull away. Surely he hadn’t come for this. Jamey began reciprocating immediately, reaching for my waistline and pulling off my top.

I didn’t want this.

It was all I wanted.

I removed his clothes as if we had no time to spare. Seeing and touching his naked body gave me chills. I had to feel every inch of him, no matter what the repercussions would be afterwards. I needed to be completely overwhelmed by pleasure, if only temporary.

Once we both were naked, sitting up facing each other, Jamey stopped kissing me and brought his attention back to my eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want? We can stop. I just don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

I reached between his legs and took ahold of him, stroking him as I spoke. “I’m sure.”

He lifted me then sat me back down slowly, maneuvering himself inside. It had been so long that it was almost painful at first. I began to bob my body up and down over him, feeling him touching my br**sts. His thumbs played with my ni**les, flicking over them until they hardened to extremes. The sensations made me lose track of my senses momentarily. Then I came to the realization of what we were doing, unprotected. “Whoa. Stop,” I wailed.

“What?”

“You’re not wearin’ a condom.”

“We’ve done it a million times without protection, Pey. I hate to break it to you, but I didn’t bring anything. You told me you hated me earlier, so I just assumed I didn’t need it.”

“I do hate you. That hasn’t changed.” He snickered and scratched his head like he did when he was in deep thought. “So what do you want to do?”

“I can’t do this. It’s different now.”

“Look whether you believe me or not, I’ve never had sex without protection with anyone but you. I swear on my mother’s life. I never f**ked up with that.”

I sat quiet for a second, taking in the fact that he’d sworn on his mother’s life. Besides himself Jamey only cared about few people. She was at the top of the list.