Rome (Marked Men #3)(64)
Author: Jay Crownover

Operating on ancient rage and embarrassment, I pulled back a hand and socked him in the gut as hard as I could. I owed it to him, but it didn’t do anything to make me feel any better. In fact all the old feelings of betrayal and hurt were starting to fade simply because they were irrelevant in the face of how ridiculous it was that he thought I would want to hear anything he had to say. I was still mad, but for other reasons. He let out an “oof” and doubled over. I contemplated smacking him across the face as well, but Nash got to me first and handed me off to my chuckling guy, who locked down my flailing arms and cut off the steam that I felt was pouring out of my ears. I should be overwhelmed with joy that I had escaped the life I would have had if I had stuck with a guy like Jimmy. But all that old duplicity and sting had greatly affected my ability to give everything over to the man I now considered my life, and I was all kinds of newly furious at Jimmy for that.

“Fuck you, Jimmy. I don’t need an apology from you. I don’t need anything from you. As far as I’m concerned, you got exactly what you deserved. You’re wasting your time here.”

Rome growled behind me, which was all kinds of alpha sexy, and ran a soothing hand over my arm. I was shaking, and it made me mad that Jimmy could affect me in any way still. Apologizing for shattering my young heart into a million pieces was just laughable, like any words could go back in time and undo the damage he had done, could fix the current predicament I found myself in with Rome.

“You actually deserve a shit ton more, but considering her condition, I’m not going to let her at you.” Rome sounded gruff and even less happy than he had been originally.

Jimmy’s gaze widened and then flicked over my now slightly extended belly. I wasn’t huge but I was obviously rounded out more than normal and clearly pregnant. I wanted to hit him again when he looked at Nash and asked:

“You’re knocked up?”

Nash choked on a laugh and hooked a thumb at Rome.

“You might wanna look at the guy holding on to her, genius. Not mine.”

Jimmy’s eyes got huge when he took in the protective stance Rome had taken behind me. He looked at me, at my belly, and then back up to the thunderous expression of the man standing behind me. It irritated me to no end that he automatically assumed Nash would be the dad just because of his outward appearance. Why hadn’t I ever realized how shallow and awful he was before I had fallen in love with him? Gross.

“Seriously, Cora? What the hell happened to you? This isn’t like you. You used to be nice and funny. The old you would have forgiven me in a heartbeat, and we could have gone and had a beer and a few laughs for old times’ sake. You loved me.”

Oh, the nerve of him. How did I ever think anyone that stupid was my Mr. Right? I could read between his lines. The old me would have been head over heels to have another shot at being with him and he could have used me for a quick hookup to soothe his battered ego. Uh, no thank you.

“You happened to me, Jimmy. You have the nerve to talk about how I loved you? How about because of you I can’t love someone else? Where is the apology, the regret for that?”

I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me. I knew I needed to stop—that I was risking ruining the thing that mattered—but in my fury I was stuck in a cycle of past and future, anger and remorse, and there was no turning back.

“Cora.” Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck and looked at his feet. “We were young. I was immature. I never meant to hurt you that way. You were the first girl I ever loved. Can’t we just grab a coffee or something and mend some fences. I really am sorry.”

“No. Just because you’re sorry doesn’t mean I’m obligated to accept your apology. It sucks you came all this way in search of absolution, but it’s not my job to offer it to you. I don’t owe you anything. I never did. You were just too stupid to see that I was offering you the world and then you decided to toss it away. Never again, Jimmy. I’ll never do that again.” My voice dropped an octave and my chest heaved up and down. “The embarrassment, the loss of the only family I thought I had, it made me lost, made me search and search for some kind of perfect I’m never going to find. You ruined my idea of happy-ever-after.”

When my words hit Jimmy they made him shudder, and they made me feel free. But any satisfaction was brief, disintegrating as what I had just said hit me square in the chest. It was too late, I couldn’t force the words back in. I turned to look at Rome, and those blue eyes had gone dull, distant, his face like stone.

For five years I had needed this moment to let go. But now that the anger was starting to bleed out, I knew the harsh words I had thrown out in a blind rage had hit the wrong target.

Rome had offered me everything over and over again, and still I’d held back. I’d never been absolutely clear to him why I was so hesitant to just hand my heart over, and here I was laying it all out there to the last guy who deserved any consideration. Jimmy might have damaged my ability to freely offer my love, but I had to be accountable for my part in being scared to give everything over to Rome. I knew we were meant to be and holding back fell entirely on my cowardly shoulders.

“Cora …” Jimmy didn’t get the chance to add anything else because Rome’s tolerance ran out. He moved around me faster than a guy that big should be able to move and grabbed Jimmy by the collar of his trendy pearl-snap shirt. The toes of his hip boots dragged across the sidewalk and his eyes popped wide. I saw Jimmy gulp and heard Nash chuckle.

“Not helping, Nashville.”

“No plans to, Tink. Let him wrestle with the bear. He deserves it.”

“She said she doesn’t have anything else to say to you. That ends the conversation. You want to continue it, you continue it with me. A lot of time has passed for you, but I’m brand-new. I know what I got with her, and I’m not going to let you dirty it up or twist her up anymore.” He shook Jimmy like he was a rag doll and I had to bite back a grin. “She’s having my baby. I love her. There is no room in any of that for you to show up and try to make her responsible for your bruised ego and hurt feelings. Maybe if you weren’t a dick to begin with, you wouldn’t have ended up getting f**ked over in the long run. Are we clear?”

I had never seen this side of Rome. He was always kind of dangerous, always kind of coiled tight like he could take care of business at any minute. I had to admit it was fascinating to watch, and I wasn’t surprised that Jimmy couldn’t hold up under the threat of the kind of guy Rome was. I doubted many could. He nodded and Rome shoved him away. Jimmy stumbled off the curb and looked at me one more time.