Searching for Someday (Searching For #1)(42)
Author: Jennifer Probst

Slade swallowed his frustration and tried to look at the big picture. But God, he was so tired of it. He wanted to do one thing for a person who needed it, and his hands were always tied. “Fine. I’ll pay for this one out of my salary. Dock my pay.”

Bob lifted a brow. “A bit extreme for someone you don’t know. What’s going on with you lately? I’m deciding on partner soon, and I need a closer. This is a brutal business—eats you up and spits you out. If you can’t handle it, I think Samuel may have the edge.”

His boss’s gaze was razor sharp and Slade knew it was a test. Did he have what it took? The goal of partnership had been his sole focus for the last five years, but suddenly his future flashed before him and it was all more of the same. More work, more stress, and less satisfaction. The challenge was on the table for him to pick up. Cut the client loose and gain Bob’s respect. He sensed he had an edge over Samuel. One tiny agreement and it was all over.

“I lied, Bob.”

His boss stared at him hard. “About?”

“Kate. We never had a relationship. I hired her from a matchmaking agency to pose as my girlfriend because I knew you favored executives who are settled. She’s not an accountant, her father’s no court judge, and she owns a company called Kinnections.”

Bob frowned and shook his head. “Wasn’t that the name of her accounting firm?”

“No, she’s the owner of a matchmaking agency. I set the whole thing up because I wanted to beat Samuel. I’ve wanted that damn partnership for years, and I wasn’t about to let not having a relationship stop me from getting it.”

Silence fell. A lightness filled his chest, and he waited for the fallout. Would Bob fire him? Maybe. Throw him out as a contender? Probably. At least he didn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.

Bob threw back his head and laughed. “I’ve seen creative moves before to climb to the top, but this is a first. We had no idea. In fact, my wife was so crazy about Kate, we were going to invite her to dinner this week. You got us good. And though I’m pissed you lied, I have to give you credit for ambition. That’s the type of man we want, Slade. You saw the problem, thought of a solution, and went for it. Too bad, though. Melody’s gonna get nailed for that ticket.”

Slade managed to catch his surprised gasp and turn it into a badass grin. “I’m glad you’re not upset. And I’m sorry if I put you in an awkward position.”

Bob cut his hand through the air. “Nothing I can’t handle. Appreciate you coming clean before I made my decision.”

“I’m not giving up this case, Bob. It won’t affect my caseload or billing hours, but I want it.”

His boss let out a breath. “Fine, take it. You’ve always been a stubborn son a bitch. Just make sure you win.”

“I will. Thanks.” He got up and headed toward the door when he heard his name. “Yeah?”

Bob’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s just say I think you’ll be happy with my final decision on partnership by the end of the week.”

The meaning was clear. As Slade left the office, his head spun. Damn. He’d snagged the position. But as he strode down the hallway, a giant emptiness pulsed in his gut, a need for a woman he’d pushed away, and a question if he’d ever feel satisfied again.

KATE WAITED ON HIS front steps. She glanced at her watch again and hoped he wasn’t working too late. She’d already been sitting for an hour, and with every minute that ticked by, she’d been tempted to dump the plan and hurry back home. Nothing like a big love confession to freak a woman out.

“Kate?”

She turned her head to the right and her heart leaped. He was so beautiful. His towering length and lean muscles filled out the navy blue Prada suit, his snowy white shirt and red tie cutting a sharp image. He’d probably gone to court. Lines bracketed his mouth and his eyes, hinting at his fatigue. The gold-rimmed glasses gave him the scholarly look that only made him sexier. She stood up and drank him in with her gaze, her body already alight with the need to touch him, push back his hair, caress his hard cheek. She swallowed. “I need to talk to you.”

He nodded. “Come inside.”

They climbed the steps and entered his apartment. The silence of the empty rooms pulsed with a hunger for noise and laughter and mess. Why hadn’t she seen this before? The way he controlled his life and kept people at a safe distance so he’d never be tempted to fail? Just like her.

“Can I get you something to drink? Eat?”

“No.”

“Do you want to sit down? I’m sorry I’m late, I had a court date.”

“I love you.”

He stiffened. Ah, crap, leave it to her to blurt something out with no finesse. She completely sucked at good love confessions so she’d better backtrack. Was that horror, shock, or pleasure on his face? He looked as if he’d gotten hit over the head with a brick.

His voice broke. “Kate, I—”

“No, please listen to me first.” She wiped her palms on her jeans and closed the distance between them. His delicious scent swamped her senses, spice and a hint of citrus. She curled her hands into tight fists to keep from reaching out. “I accused you of being a coward, but I’m the one who’s been holding back. From the moment we touched, I sensed you were the man for me. But it’s so much more than physical. I hid behind your conceptions of relationships and your refusal to believe we could work long-term. But I believe enough for both of us, Slade.”

She surrendered to impulse and touched him. Her fingers closed over his shoulders. The heat pulsed and danced between them, confirming her heart’s choice. “I want you to give us a chance. I’ve seen the man you are. How you protect and take care of your sister. Your gentleness with Robert. How you fight for your clients and try to make them hurt a little less. And the way you look at me when we make love.” She stood on tiptoes and cupped his cheeks, staring into his beloved face. His green eyes swirled with desire, confusion, fear. “I love every damn part of you, your body and heart and soul. I love your mind and your stubbornness and your humor. Give us a chance to be more. Give me a chance to love you in the way you deserve.”

She didn’t hesitate, just pulled his head down to hers and kissed him with all her pent-up longing and emotion. He groaned and opened his lips, his tongue sweeping inside and drinking deeply. He kissed her for a long time, conquering every part of her mouth until there was nothing left to give. When he ripped his mouth from hers, a mad light gleamed in his eyes.

A joyous laugh broke from her chest. She had won. He was hers.

Kate reached up for more, but he staggered back. Stark regret carved out the lines of his face, even as she noted his full erection and the hot need in his gaze. “I can’t, Kate. Dear God, I can’t do this to you, won’t hurt you and break your heart. I love you too, I do, but I can’t follow this road. Eventually, we’ll hurt each other, and I’d rather die.”

Red-hot anger misted her vision. She trembled with a rage of emotion. “You’ll deny both of us our happiness for a future we know nothing about? What about the relationships that do work? Don’t you want to take the chance on us? The chance to be a family and wake up in each other’s arms every morning? Or are you afraid to settle with me in case there’s a better option later?”

He snapped his jaw closed. “Don’t. That has nothing to do with it. I’m crazy about you. Since the moment we met I’ve been trying to catch up and I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Because you want everything!”

She sucked in her breath. He jerked back, pushing his hand through his hair. The silence squeezed with merciless tension, and Kate finally realized she had come here to win, but he had already made his choice. Raw pain rose from her gut and choked, but she managed to wrestle out her last words.

“You’re right. I do want everything. I’m sorry that’s too much to ask, but I believe we’re both worth it. I’m sorry you don’t.”

“Kate.”

Her name was a good-bye, a plea, a prayer. Her eyes were bone dry as she stared at him. “Good-bye, Slade.”

This time he didn’t stop her. She walked out of his apartment for the last time and knew he had chosen.

Chapter Fifteen

YOU OKAY?”

Kate forced a smile and looked up as Kennedy strolled into her office. “Sure. Is Jane coming in today?”

“Should be here in a minute. She’s ready to go back out there, so I wanted to sit down with her for a one-on-one. Too bad Brian ended up being a jerk.”

“Yeah, occupational hazard, I guess. Still, I’m proud of her. She seems much stronger in who she is and didn’t let this affect her inner core.”

“I had good teachers.”

Kate laughed as Jane appeared behind Ken and gave her a hug. Jane had definitely blossomed. She accepted the breakup and her emotions, and healed. Now she was excited about the possibility of a new journey, and this time Ken would probably screen even more carefully.

“How are you, Kate?” Jane asked.

“Fine.”

The two women shared a look. Kate fought a sigh. She’d been asked that question every day for the past two weeks and her answer never changed. Still, her friends knew it was a big, fat lie. Since that day she lost Slade, she walked around empty, caught between massive pain and a strange numbness. She buried herself in work, stayed home with Robert, and tried to believe it would get better. Someday.

Jane had become a close friend of the group and now joined them for Friday nights at Mugs. Kate was glad she never mentioned her brother or asked any questions. “Anyone want to catch a drink after work today?” Jane asked. “I finished my research paper and would love to celebrate.”

Ken gave a whoop. “You go, girl. Of course we’ll go. But first come into my chamber so we can go over a few things. I think I have a great guy for you to meet.”

Their heels clicked down the hallway, and Kate stared at the stack of folders on her desk. Funny, the last few months her client list had almost doubled. The expo probably helped, and everyone had adjusted well to double their efforts now that she had lost her gift. Not that she tried it out anymore; most of her time was spent with Robert and the television.

She wondered if Slade missed her. Wondered if he got the partnership. Wondered if he ever thought of calling her or had already moved on.

The bell tinkled and there was a knock on her door. She smiled as Tim peeked in. “Hey, Kate, do you have a minute for me?”

“Of course.” She waved him in. “How did Friday night’s date go?”

Tim sat in the chair and shrugged. He was one of her favorite clients and really wished she’d be able to match him correctly. Slightly overweight, he had gorgeous golden eyes and thick brown hair, and his wicked sense of humor always made her laugh. He wasn’t flashy, or broody, or a bad boy. He was just literally nice, with a great personality. Time to work harder.