Shades of Wicked (Page 47)

Chapter 36

I squeezed his hand, new tears spilling out that weren’t from anguish this time. Oh, how I had needed to hear out loud that I could beat Dagon! Even more, to have someone other than me believe it was possible.

“Thank you,” I said softly. “You have that bravery, too, you know. Oh, you’ll say it’s selfish because you care about Mencheres and the rest of your friends. But you’d rather risk death than risk them in this fight. That’s bravery and loyalty at its most unselfish.”

He squeezed back, though he refused to acknowledge any nobility in his actions, of course. Then he let me go. “You never said how Ereshki fits into all this.”

The breath that escaped me was too bitter to be a laugh. “Even with how brainwashed I was, it did occur to me to question why I was the only person who came back from the dead. Eventually, I questioned it enough to tell the villages not to listen to Dagon. Fenkir, Rani, and Dagon tried every torture imaginable to make me stop, but I refused. Between that and word traveling about other villages deeply regretting their brief stint at Dagon worship, converts and sacrifices were way down. Then one day, Dagon brought Ereshki to my cage.”

I could still picture her: long black hair, skin the same desert-sand color as mine, and clear brown eyes that crinkled at the corners when she laughed.

“He said he’d prove he was a god, then he slit her throat. I’d seen so much death by then, I was numb to it . . . until her throat healed and she came back, alive. Dagon told me Ereshki was special like me because we both had true faith, and if only others would, too, there would be no more death at all—”

“I literally cannot wait to kill him,” Ian snarled, leaping up to pace at the bottom of the ruined staircase. “I knew Dagon was a bastard, but I had no idea about this. I only thought he swindled the greedy or the corrupt out of their souls the way other demons do.”

I was touched that Ian was taking this so personally. He might not care for me the same way I cared for him, but he obviously felt something, to be this upset on my behalf.

“That’s what Dagon’s been reduced to now. It’s why he hates me so much. Eventually, when my father got the whole story, he punished Dagon by forbidding him from building up his followers among humans again. That cut Dagon’s power source, and he’s blamed me for it ever since. But back to Ereshki. She came back from the dead because she was demon-branded, not that I knew it. I thought she was my friend. I—I’d never had one before, and I loved her more than words can say. It broke me when I overheard her talking to Fenkir and Rani one day and discovered she’d only been pretending, to keep me in line. I didn’t even get a chance to confront her about it. Tenoch found me that night.”

Ian stopped pacing. “The first person you trusted was a demon-branded bitch who tricked you into re-believing in the sod who continually murdered you?” A humorless laugh left him. “No wonder you had a betrayal flashback when you let another demon-branded person bind you.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I really don’t think you’re like her. I never would have told you everything if I did.”

“Tell me one more thing. Tell me Tenoch killed everyone violently and painfully once he found you.”

A smile ghosted across my lips. He’d used the same words I had when he’d told me about his father. “My father wouldn’t let him, since that would make Tenoch a target for other demons. He did tear Fenkir, Rani, and Ereshki into lots of pieces, but that only slowed them down long enough for Tenoch to whisk me away. I assume Dagon killed them for letting someone steal me, since I’ve never seen them since, and believe me, I’ve looked. After that, Tenoch took me to my father. It was the first time we ‘met,’ aside from the glimpses I’d caught after I died. The Warden told me about demons, vampires, my mixed heritage, and everything else.”

“That must have been quite a shock,” Ian said steadily.

“Oh, it was.” Another bitter laugh. “I was beyond traumatized, both from what had happened to me and from what I’d helped Dagon do to others. Plus, like you, I also blamed my father for not doing more to get me out of that sooner. Not that he cared. The Warden doesn’t feel the way we do, or he doesn’t consider me worthy of his deeper feelings. But he did ask Tenoch to look out for me, and that was his greatest gift. Tenoch saved me in body, mind, and spirit. Then he replaced every minute Dagon robbed me of by turning me into a vampire. He also taught me magic and how to use all my powers. Tenoch wanted to make sure I knew how to protect myself from anyone else who would try to hurt me or use me for their own purposes.”

At that, I got up and went over to Ian, taking both his hands. “That’s why I understand exactly why you sold your soul to save Mencheres. I tried to give the Warden mine in exchange for Tenoch’s life after he committed suicide. The Warden said he couldn’t because Tenoch hadn’t crossed through his part of the underworld on his way to his next life. That’s the good news, even though I’ve missed Tenoch every day since then.”

Ian clasped my hands before pulling his free to settle them on either side of my face. “Of course you did, but you’re not alone any longer. You do realize that, don’t you?”

I glanced away, a snort escaping me. It was better than the muffled sob rising in my throat. “It’s okay, Ian. I’m under no illusions about us. Even if we win, you’re not the ‘stick around’ kind of guy. You’re the guy people sigh wistfully about when they’re later with the person who does stick around.”

His grin was pure him: more than a little dangerous and more than a lot enticing. “Oh, there are vast multitudes sighing over me, don’t you doubt it. But you know how Mencheres used to be able to see the future? I have something like that, too.”

“You do?” I asked in surprise.

A nod. “Several years ago, I started getting feelings. I’d suddenly know the person I was with was going to rob me, for example. Dismissed it as lucky hunches at first, then paranoia when I felt it with Crispin. But after Crispin’s betrayal, I started paying attention. Turns out, the feelings were never wrong, but they didn’t happen every time. A heads-up would have been appreciated before I sold my soul to Dagon, but did my paranormal ESP warn me then? No. That’s when I understood why Mencheres always considered his gift more of a curse. When you can’t count on it, it can feel more taunt than blessing when it does finally happen. Take yourself.”

I stiffened. If his ability only caused him to have premonitions about bad things happening, this would hurt.

“The first time I saw you, you were moderating a duel Crispin was in and you nearly executed Cat for saving him—”

“That was not my fault,” I interrupted. “Everyone was warned that if they interfered, they’d die. Cat torched the head off Bones’s opponent in front of four Law Guardians and hundreds of witnesses. She could’ve flash-fried his internal organs to help Bones. Or cooked his spine, or something else that wouldn’t have been seen. But no. She goes for the most visible display of duel interference ever—”

“The woman has no subtlety,” Ian agreed, laughing. “But to my point, I saw you then and felt nothing. Saw you months later during the ghoul uprising and felt nothing then, too . . . until I watched you tear through a group of ghouls ’til they were no more than blood in the wind. Made me so hard, I almost tripped over my cock on my way to kill the ghoul in front of me.”