Shopping for a Billionaire 3(6)
Author: Julia Kent

“Who would in April in Massachusetts?” the doctor snaps. I’ve never seen Declan like this, furious at himself, sheepish and so young looking, like he thinks he deserves to be upbraided for something that was completely out of his control.

“I should have.” He looks at Mom and Dad. “My brother is highly allergic to wasps, and—” His face shuts down as he caps his emotions. My entire body aches, like someone is stabbing kitchen knives into my thighs, my butt, my neck and upper arms, but none of that pain compares to what my heart feels watching his reaction.

“No,” I croak out. “You did everything right. You didn’t know. I should have said something, but it’s never been a big issue.”

Mom snorts. “Shannon,” she says in a chiding voice. Whether it’s a “big issue” or not has been a bone of contention between us ever since I was first stung. 

Then she squeezes my hand and looks between him and me. “You did everything perfectly, Declan.” She lets go of my hand and stands, grabbing him for an embrace. “You did everything perfectly, and thank you for saving my daughter’s life.”

My eyes start to water and two tears trickle down each side of my face, rolling into my ears. It itches. A tightness in my throat triggers panic in me. Too close to what I felt after the bee stings. My breathing becomes labored and the doctor checks my pulse.

“Slow breaths, Shannon,” she says in a soothing tone. “The adrenaline is still in you and it will be a while before you’re okay.”

I nod, following her instructions. Mom’s arm is thrown casually around Declan and they look like they’ve been best friends for years. It freaks me out and warms me at the same time.

Jeffrey clears his throat and opens his mouth. I see two white nubs along his gum line, the permanent teeth poking through. His nose is big and sunburnt and his cheeks have freckles on them.

“Yes?” I ask, giving him permission to speak in a crowd of scary grownups who tower over him.

It’s Declan he turns to. “Did you break your penith?”

Oh, that lisp.

Suppressed snickers fill the room. We sound like a bunch of taste testers for canned baked beans after a new product line rollout. Futt-futt-futt…

“No, buddy, my penith—penis—is just fine.” Declan reaches down and ruffles his hair. Jeffrey leans into the touch like a cat cozying up for some petting.

“Good.” Jeffrey tugs on Declan’s shirt. Declan bends down, but what comes out of Jeffrey’s mouth can be heard by everyone.

“Jutht tho you know, you thouldn’t play with your penith anywhere exthept in your bedroom. The penith is a private plathe.”

Declan’s eyes widen. Dad’s hand flies to his mouth to cover a grin. Even the British doctor chick is trying not to laugh.

“Thanks,” Declan says with a stage whisper. “I’ll remember that forever.”

Jeffrey’s on fire now. A room of grownups paying attention, and a dad (in his mind, Declan’s a dad, because all men over thirty are “dads”) who is riveted by what he’s saying.

“And you know what elth?” Jeffrey is king at court. He makes eye contact with every grownup as he takes roll.

“Yeah?” Declan is amused. He’s confident and fine with a room full of adults making fun of his penith.

“You thouldn’t let Auntie Thannon touch your penith. It’s a private plathe and no one hath the right to touch it without your permithon. ”

Oh, I had permission, bud. I can’t, of course, say that, and the room is now filled with giggles and people biting their lips so hard they are causing de facto piercings.

Carol lunges for him. “Let’s go get ice cream!” She mouths I’m sorry to Declan, who waves it off and gives Jeffrey a high-five as she scurries out the door with her boys.

Then Declan turns and faces the crowd. “You no longer have permithon to even talk about my penith.”

“She needs her rest, anyhow, and I’ve had quite my fill of ‘penith’ jokes at this point,” the doctor tells Mom and Dad. Declan lets go of Mom and shakes Dad’s hand. My father pulls him into a manly hug and claps him twice on the back. It’s a macho thing that would make me laugh if I had the energy.

Declan whispers something I can’t hear to them while Amy kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand before letting go. “He ran with you the entire way to the car. The entire way.” Her eyes rake over Declan’s body in a way that makes me tingle with jealousy. Or maybe that’s just my catheter shifting a little. Why do I have a catheter? How long have I been unconscious? “Even after you stabbed him in the crotch.”

I snort. It hurts. Everything hurts. My eyes feel like slits in a slab of organ meat.

“How long have I been here?”

“About fifteen hours.” She looks at her phone to check, and nods. “It’s morning now.”

“Jesus.” I swallow. “Why does my throat hurt so much?”

“They had to put a tube down your throat to keep you breathing.” She can barely say the words.

“Oh.” I look at Declan, who is quietly talking to my mom. They keep looking at me with worried expressions.

“Not only do you manage to catch a billionaire, you catch Captain America,” Amy adds.

I try to laugh again but it comes out as a choke. She slowly lets go of my hand, trailing off, and follows Mom and Dad out as the doctor explains something to them about my care.

Declan and I are alone. And all I can do is start to cry. Big, messy tears that would devolve into a true ugly sobbing if I had the airway to spare. Instead, the fat teardrops just pour into my outer ear and collect there with a maddening itch.

“Why are you crying?” he asks with a tenderness in his voice that makes me cry even more. In seconds, he’s across the room and stroking my hand.

“Because I almost destroyed your penith!”

The deep, booming laughter is so unexpected, like a sudden thunderclap on a clear moonlit night, that the sound shocks me and makes me choke out another apology.

He sits on the bed next to me and strokes my hair, tucking a long strand behind my wet ear. “Shannon, that was my fault. I moved and shoved your arm and you—”

“You’re taking a lot of blame for what happened,” I whisper.

He sighs, his neck and shoulders relaxing. “I do that when I think the woman I’m falling for is about to—” Declan swallows, his eyes boring into mine. Feeling his arm shake, his voice husky and low with worry, drains me of all my energy.