Silver Bastard (Silver Valley #1)(11)
Author: Joanna Wylde

Bitch.

“I’m fine,” I replied, feeling my adrenaline fade a little. “Do you think anyone was really hurt?”

“No,” she said. “Coop’s probably got some burns, but nothing serious. It didn’t keep him down for long. I have to give you credit. That took balls.”

I shrugged, because she had no idea about the real me. I’d grown up surrounded by dangerous men—Jake and Coop were innocent babies compared to them. I could teach them all kinds of things about fighting dirty . . . But that part of my life was in the past, and I wanted to keep it that way. Boring was better.

Boring, comfortable, and safe. Words to live by.

Words I wished my mom would learn for herself. So far as I could tell, her favorite word was “drama.”

“Don’t worry,” Darcy said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. I think it was supposed to make me feel better but it kind of creeped me out. She was attached to Boonie, and Boonie was president of the MC. Not that I hated the Silver Bastards—they scared Teeny, which meant he wasn’t a threat, and I appreciated that a great deal. I just preferred to appreciate it from a comfortable distance. “My old man will fix it. He always does.”

Sure, he’d fix it for the boys. At the end of the day I’d still be out a job, though. Probably Blake, too.

Puck, Boonie, Deep, and Blake came sauntering out of the restaurant, laughing and slapping each other on the back like it was all a big fucking joke. This frustrated me, because it wasn’t a joke—it was my life. Of course you could make the obvious argument that my whole life was one big fucking joke. But I’d read a book about the power of positive thinking last year, and had decided I wouldn’t let myself wallow like that ever again.

Stop thinking about it, I told my brain, which of course made it worse. You’re a joke, it hissed. Trash. Who the hell do you think you are?

Wait. That was Teeny’s voice in my head.

He could fuck himself right off. So what if things had gone bad here? I’d lived through worse and I’d live through this because I was a winner.

Power. Of. Positive. Thinking.

“All good, baby?” Darcy asked, stepping toward Boonie. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in for a deep kiss. “Sure. Eva came right around. Jake and his boys will be heading home soon, where I suggested they practice their manners before showing their faces around town again. Let’s ride down to Kellogg and grab some breakfast there. Sound good?”

I felt Puck’s eyes touch me, although he didn’t say anything.

He never did.

Five years ago, I’d felt him watching me like a physical touch. He’d been the seventh stranger Teeny told me I had to fuck. He’d been different from the others, though. It probably sounds twisted, but I remembered feeling a mixture of fear and excitement when Teeny gave me my marching orders. Puck was actually young and good-looking—in any other world, I might’ve even tried talking to him, or at least stalking him discreetly.

Of course, that was before I got close and realized just how big he was. Tough. Scary. And not just because he had that nasty scar across his face, either. Nope, even in that room full of dangerous, scary men there had been something different about him.

Then he’d started touching me, and I’d forgotten to be afraid.

I’d had no idea up to that point how good sex could feel, or that there might be a reason women let themselves go crazy for a man’s attention. And when we’d sat near the fire and he’d held me, and later when he made me come for the first time ever? For a while I pretended I was a normal girl at a regular party, not just a biker whore’s brat learning to earn her keep.

Yeah, Puck hurt me.

They all hurt me.

At least he didn’t know, and once he figured it out he held me and then we’d slept together in one bed. I was safe for a while. Of course it didn’t last, but nothing good ever lasted around the Longnecks MC. They were like a festering wound that oozed pus and spread infection to whatever they touched.

Case in point? My mom. After five years she and Teeny were still together, still fucked up, and still trying to use me. She’d called me last month with some story about a broken water heater, begging for money. Again.

I didn’t hate her anymore, though. When things got truly bad, she’d done the right thing and sent me with Puck. She’d never defied Teeny like that before—I knew he’d beaten her after I left. Came close to killing her and kicked her out for a week . . . then she went crawling back to him. Unbelievable.

“You coming with?” Puck asked, stepping toward me. I jumped. What the hell? Puck watched me, occasionally said hello. Like, once a year. He never, ever invited me to do anything with him because we had strict boundaries. He prowled around, I pretended he wasn’t there, and I lived life safe and sound where Teeny could never get to me.

Now Puck stared at me, obviously waiting for an answer. I shook my head, unnerved. Then Puck reached out to catch a lock of my hair and tuck it behind my ear.

What. The. Fuck.

Beside me Carlie stiffened, her smile fading. Great. Not only was Batman changing his M.O. without warning, he was doing it in front of his girlfriend. Just what I needed.

(Okay, that wasn’t entirely fair. She obviously had a thing for him and I’d bet a hundred bucks they were sleeping together, but so far as I knew Puck never pretended or lied to get laid. He wasn’t into commitment. This was well known to every woman in Callup foolish enough to crush on him. Essentially all of them who had a pulse and few borderline cases, too. I’d watched Melba checking out his ass once—you can’t unsee something like that, trust me.)

“I really can’t go to breakfast,” I said, my voice shaky. “I need to talk with Eva.”

“Don’t bother,” Blake said with a grin. “You’re fired. Me, too.”

“Did she say that?” I asked, feeling a little sick to my stomach.

“Oh yeah. She said it loud and clear. Repeatedly. I’ll go back with you to pick up your check at the end of the week so you don’t have to face her alone.”

I closed my eyes, wondering why things couldn’t have just stayed the same, even if it was just for another six months. Not that I should be surprised. My reality had never been smooth before, so why should it start now?

Think positive, I reminded myself.

Crap. Now I was bummed and I wanted to bitch-slap my brain for being so annoying.

“What the fuck happened out here?” Danielle asked, her arm suddenly around my shoulders. I immediately felt better. Danielle and I balanced each other out perfectly—she was batshit crazy and insanely optimistic. Make that dangerously, recklessly optimistic. As for me, I spent nearly all my time focused on staying sane and getting ahead. That didn’t leave much time for things like actually living my life.