Strung (Seaside 0.5)(31)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

My heart sank.

I didn’t plan for it to happen.

To fall in love so fast and just assume she felt the same way.

Instead, she fell in like with me. And in love with my brother. Relationships were built on like, but love? With him in my life constantly? Eventually she would stray. I’d always look over my shoulder. I’d always wonder.

Was I selfish enough to push it? To push her until she broke?

She sighed heavily into my chest.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I laughed and kissed her forehead, trying to get her to relax.

Nat shrugged. “I just miss you, that’s all.”

“I miss you, too.” I felt my body lighten up. Hope. There was still hope. Desire was evident in her eyes. My mouth descended, covering hers. Her kiss was so welcome, so open, so… inviting. That I had to wonder. Was she swaying? Was she finally realizing I would be everything for her?

Her tongue flicked mine, I groaned, my arms coming around her, and then I was lifting her off the floor, twirling her in circles, kissing her like my life depended on it.

“Can we go?” she asked when I pulled back.

“Are you sure?” I suddenly felt nervous. Why did we need to go? I mean she came with Alec. Not that I was against being alone with her, but being alone meant we’d be like… alone-alone.

“Yes.” She bit her lower lip.

I sighed, mainly because I knew that it could go either way. Nat could give in to me — once and for all. Or finally prove to me, that she wasn’t ever mine to begin with. But Alec’s all along.

“Your carriage awaits.” I tucked her arm in mine and led her outside.

“You look hot tonight, Nat.” I gave her a seductive grin, one that hopefully made her realize that being alone with me probably wasn’t the best idea she’d ever had — not in my current mood. Not when I wanted to take her. For myself.

“Where are we going?”

“Where do you want to go?”

Nat shrugged. “I just want to be with you.”

My heart damn near leapt out of my chest and landed on the car — that’s how happy that one sentence made me. I squeezed her hand and drove up to the beach house. It was dark.

When we walked in, I flipped on a few lights and threw my keys onto the table then swept Nat into my arms and murmured. “I heard you slept in my bed?” I continued walking her backwards up the stairs until she was against my door. With a wink, I opened it and led her in.

“It’s possible.” She grinned.

“Did you wear my clothes too?” I teased.

“Yup.”

Damn, I groaned out loud. I didn’t think she’d actually say ‘yes’ and now all I could concentrate on was hunting down those same clothes and putting her back into them again. “Ah, you are killing me, girl.” My finger threaded through her hair. “You’re so damn beautiful, Nat. And you don’t even know it. You don’t see what everyone else sees. This beautiful, bright girl — you’re like the sun.”

“The sun?” she repeated.

“I want to revolve around you.” My voice shook. I’d never been so obsessed with a girl, so careless with the way I felt — she made me want to be careless.

I felt myself stumble a bit as I latched my mouth onto hers. Was I that much of a lightweight now? I’d had two shots before our performance. The first alcohol I’d had in weeks. Not that it was any of her business or Alec’s. I was in complete control.

Except… I kind of liked it too much.

And then there was that whole situation with Angelica stuffing something in my pocket when I left for the airport.

The something just happened to be oxy, with a note that said, “More where that came from.”

Um, it came from the devil so pretty sure it was laced with poison, but still. It was burning a hole through my pants. Swear the drug sang to me. It sang to me in times like this when everything was too much — when all I could feel was her. When I wanted to be numb, and dive back into that protective shield drugs gave me.

Slowly, I moved my hands to the back of her dress and found the zipper, tugging it downward. My tongue flicked her teeth and then plunged into her mouth, forcing her to either kiss me back with the same ferocity or pull away.

She kissed me back, curving her body into mine as she tried to match each kiss, each flick of my tongue, each placement of my hands as my fingers dug into her flesh.

Her kisses were strange. She’d kiss me like she wanted to have sex with me, then she’d all of a sudden freeze, and then kiss me again, and then freeze. Hell, my tongue and other parts of my anatomy were extremely confused and frustrated. Sexually frustrated.

“No.” She pushed against my chest. I backed up and cursed as her expression turned guilty.

“Sorry, Nat. I didn’t mean to get out of control.” I didn’t want her freaking out. If she wanted to wait we’d wait. I probably wasn’t in the right mind for that sort of thing anyways. It just… naturally happened with me. “Nat, damn.” I tugged the dress back up and set her back. I’m sorry, I’m just used to more. I’m sorry.”

“Demetri, you’re fine.” She kissed me briefly on the cheek and pulled me into a hug. “It got out of hand, it’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine.

She slept in my bed.

Wore my clothes.

Was alone at night with Alec.

Could I trust him? Did I trust her? Even when her mouth made me believe she wanted me — her eyes. Those same eyes that were staring right back at me? They were sad. Almost like she felt sorry for me.

I couldn’t stop shaking if I tried. That was it. All this time I thought it was love — instead, she was giving me pity.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just promised, that’s all.” I cleared my throat.

“You promised?”

I nodded. “Myself. I promised I wouldn’t have sex with another girl unless I knew for sure.”

“Knew what for sure?”

I swallowed and looked away. Hating that I was being such a bastard about it. “You like him.”

“Him?” she repeated.

I rolled my eyes and softly pushed her away. “Nat, I’m not stupid. We’ve alluded to this conversation many times before. It’s always the same. I feel like I’m fighting this invisible battle, and you make it that much worse when you pretend to be ignorant.”

“Alec.” She breathed his name like a kiss. The way she said his name — it was different then the way she said mine.