Taking Chances (Taking Chances #1)(41)
Author: Molly McAdams

We rounded the corner and saw the ambulance, fire truck and three SDPD cars blocking off part of the street. Dad drove down the street enough so he could park, and not block the rest of traffic, and that’s when I saw everything. Konrad being pulled away by two police officers, struggling to get back to Chase’s truck that looked like it was fused to the front of an eighteen wheeler. A scream that rivaled Bree’s ripped from my throat and I bolted out of the car before it had stopped. I ran past the officers holding Konrad and made it by another few before a fireman caught me and swung me away from the wreck.

“CHASE!” I screamed and wailed on the man to put me down, “CHASE!” Everything was so silent, yet so loud at the same time. I couldn’t hear the sirens, I couldn’t hear the shrieks and sobs from his family, I couldn’t even hear my own voice anymore. I can’t describe what filled my ears, only that it was deafening.

I continued to struggle to get to Chase, and somehow realized I was no longer being carried away. I must have fallen to the ground and now two people were holding me so I couldn’t get back up. I saw Konrad crushing Bree to his chest a few feet away from me, both sobbing and falling to the street as well. I didn’t know where Claire and Robert were, but I couldn’t make myself look around for them. My eyes snapped back to the truck as a few men pulled Chase through the passenger side door. He was limp, his blond hair and body covered in blood. A surge of adrenaline shot through my body and the next thing I knew I had pulled away from the people holding me and was running towards where they had put him on a stretcher in the street.

“Chase! Wake up! Please wake up!” I grabbed his lifeless hand before a female EMT could begin to remove me from the area again. I screamed at her and reached back towards him, “Don’t leave me like this! Wake up Chase, please!”

I was taken to the back of a police car where an officer was trying to calm me down, and find out my relationship to the victim. I couldn’t concentrate on him anymore, the high pitched silence was back. I looked over to Chase’s family where they were standing next to a couple officers. Robert was the only one speaking, Claire and Breanna were clutching each other as Konrad was being taken to a second ambulance so the medics could tend to his arms. He had torn them up pretty severely when he tried to get Chase out of the truck. Another medic walked up to the family and spoke to the officers, I didn’t need to be near them to know what he said. Bree’s jaw dropped in a soundless scream and Mom fell to the ground while Robert bent at the waist, gripping his chest with one hand, his hair with the other. My arms cradled my belly as my little gummy bear gave a soft kick. “Daddy’s gone baby.” I whispered.

~~~

Konrad was driving back after talking with, and dropping Brandon off at Chase’s house, he had seen the whole thing. Chase blew through a red light, never once slowing down, the driver of the semi had been going almost sixty miles per hour.

“If there is anything we can do for your family, please let us know.” A couple I vaguely remembered from the New Year’s Eve party hugged the four of us and turned to leave.

My eyes glanced over to the coffin and I felt the air leave my body. I’d been careful to keep my gaze on everything but the coffin, and now that I was looking at it, I couldn’t seem to stop. I gripped Bree’s arm and struggled to catch my breath.

“Breathe Harper.” A deep voice commanded as someone wrapped their fingers around my wrists.

My breaths came but they were coming too fast, and my ears were ringing. Chase was in there. Chase was in that box, dead. It was my fault, why did I let him leave that night? Big hands cupped my cheeks and turned my face, effectively tearing my eyes from the front of the church. As soon as the coffin was no longer in my sight I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on my breathing.

“Good girl Harper, keep breathing.” Thumbs brushed tears away from my cheeks, “Just keep breathing.”

I opened my eyes to see worried hazel eyes staring back at me.

“Better?”

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face to his blue shirt, “Thank you for coming Brandon.”

He rubbed soothing circles on my back until I unwrapped myself from him and latched back onto Bree. Ever since I’d been dragged out of Chase’s bed this morning to attend the funeral, I felt like I constantly had to be touching someone, to make sure that this was all real. I desperately wanted to go back home, curl up in Chase’s bed, breathe his scent in and numb my heart and mind again. This was all so much easier to deal with when I didn’t feel anything.

Bree’s next intake of breath was audible and her entire body tensed. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here.”

Trish was standing next to Mom, who after looking at her body covered in tattoos and pin up girl looks, put two and two together and stepped away. “I need to talk to you Harper.” She choked back a sob.

Brandon and Konrad moved so they were in between us, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea, and this definitely isn’t the place.” Konrad warned calmly.

She peered around Brandon, her eyes pleading, “I have to talk to you, you don’t understand.” Trish burst into tears and took a step towards me, “You have to know.”

Pushing through the guys, I stepped up to her and waited for her to say whatever it was she felt was so important she would confront us here.

After a few moments of Trish trying to contain her tears, she finally began, “He didn’t cheat on you, he loved you all he ever did was talk about you. I admit, I was jealous and I thought you had gotten pregnant on purpose, so he would have to be with you.” She looked nervously between Chase’s family and myself, “That night at the party, I uh – I drugged him.” My face fell. What was she saying? “Those pictures weren’t real. He was completely passed out.” She cried into her hand, her body now trembling, “I’m so sorry, you will never know how sorry I am.”

My palm connected with her face so hard, the sound bounced back to us from the walls of the church. “None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you!” I screeched and brought my hand back again, but Brandon caught it and held both arms down at my sides, “He’s dead because of you!” I began sobbing and crumbled in Brandon’s chest.

“I think you should leave now.” Konrad growled at her from my side.

I shouldn’t have slapped her, I shouldn’t have yelled at her, but I couldn’t stop myself. Because of this woman, the Grayson’s lost a son and brother and my baby would never meet his father. Because of her actions, Chase’s last conversation with me consisted of me telling him I didn’t trust him, breaking up with him, and keeping myself from telling him I loved him. Because of Trish, my heart shattered, and Chase’s stopped. I would never forgive this woman for taking him from us.

People came by the house for a couple hours after the funeral, continuing with their condolences, bringing meals and telling stories of Chase. Once everyone left, Dad, Mom, Konrad, Bree and I held each other, said I love yous over and over, and cried. Everyone split to take naps sometime later, Konrad with Bree, Dad with Mom, and me with my gummy bear. I was aware of the time passing, the room changing from light to dark, Mom bringing food and sitting there until I finished it all, and Bree coming in every few hours to lay next to me and cry. Other than necessities in the restroom, I didn’t leave the bed for quite some time. I couldn’t find a reason to, I just wanted to be surrounded by his things.

Brandon sat down on the bed, I don’t know when it was, I just registered there was light coming through the windows.

“Hey sweetheart.” He whispered and let his fingertips trail along my back.

I tried to ask why he was there, but I hadn’t used my voice in who knows how long, and it was so hoarse and low I was surprised anything came out at all.

“You need to get out of bed Harper. You’re going to take a shower, we’re going to get you out in the sun, and you’re going to try to resume your life.”

Shaking my head, I roughly whispered, “I can’t.”

“You need to. Chase wouldn’t want this, and you need to take care of your baby.” I opened my mouth and I swear it’s like he read my mind, “Eating and taking your vitamins isn’t enough. The funeral was five days ago Harper, you need to get out of this house.”

“Why are you here? And why aren’t you in Arizona?”

“Bree called me. They’re all worried about you Harper. This family is hurting, but they’re trying to cope and move on. You need to too.”

“I don’t know how,” I sobbed, “this is all my fault.”

“No it’s not, this isn’t anyone’s fault.” Brandon pulled me onto his lap and cradled me to his chest.

“I should have told him I loved him. I shouldn’t have let him leave. I should have trusted him. He died thinking I hated him!” I soaked his shirt in my tears as I continued to tell him everything I wish I could have changed from that day.

Brandon sat there silently rocking me back and forth until my sobs quieted and my tears ran dry. A few minutes later he climbed off the bed, with me still in his arms and walked me to the bathroom. He set me on the counter and turned the shower on, testing the water after a few minutes. Bree must have been waiting for this because she walked in moments after the water had started running. Brandon pulled me off the counter and kept his hands around my shoulders until I was steady. When he was convinced, he kissed my temple and walked out, saying he’d be waiting downstairs.

Bree helped me undress and shower, I couldn’t even find it in me to be embarrassed by her having to care for me like I was a toddler. Actually, I think a toddler would have been easier. I just stood there not moving or helping at all. I had to admit though, I felt more alive after pouring out my thoughts to Brandon and the shower, than I had since I saw Chase get pulled from his truck. We dried my hair, Breanna put make-up on my face and picked out an outfit for me to wear. I would have been perfectly happy with wet hair, sweats and a bare face, but according to her, unless I began taking care of myself I wouldn’t start healing. What those two things have to do with each other? I have no idea. But she just lost her brother, and she seemed to be doing much better than I was, so I didn’t complain or ask questions.

I heard sighs of relief when I walked down the stairs and immediately went into Mom’s arms, then Chase’s grandmother’s. Claire’s mom had decided to stay with us for a while, I just hadn’t realized she was still here. I apologized for hiding from them and promised to start living and taking care of myself. Once again, I’d failed to think of everyone else, I had only been concerned with my own hurt. We all sat around the kitchen table talking while Mom kept shoving pieces of fruit my way. I really wasn’t hungry, but I knew she was worried so I kept eating everything that was set in front of me. Konrad walked in an hour later and after a lingering kiss to Bree, he hugged the rest of us and patted my stomach. I’d forgotten he was living here now too. After the accident, he’d decided not to go back to Oregon. From his wet hair, I’m guessing he’d just gotten back from working out and showering.

“You guys ready to go?” He asked, pulling Bree up from the chair.

“We’re going somewhere?” I tried not to frown, they were all right, I needed to get out.

“Just having a day out, you girls need it.”