Taut: The Ford Book
“Yes, but I promise not to ask for anything that makes you uncomfortable. How’s that?”
“Then this game has very little risk for either of us.”
“Exactly. It’s a let’s be nice and go to sleep together game.”
I smile. “I think I can handle that. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win.”
I feel her body shake a little with a silent laugh. “I might just let you win, just to see what it is you want from me tonight.”
“You say that now to compensate for your sub-par performance, but it won’t work. Now hold still so I can write. How many words can it be?”
“One. Just one word.”
“OK.” I think for a moment. “Does it have to be in English?”
She snorts. “Oh, God. I should’ve expected this from you. What language do you want it to be in? I can guess letters.”
“What languages do you know?”
“Some Chinese, but I’m not fluent. And Japanese. I’m better at Japanese.”
“Then Russian’s out, I guess.”
She snorts again. “Definitely.”
“Let’s do hiragana to English for five hundred, please, Alex. Ready?”
“Are you serious? What the hell? Only you can turn a lover’s bedtime game into the SAT’s!”
“You’re gonna miss it, now be still.”
I trace the two Japanese characters very slowly. Hiragana is not intricate like kanji, the shapes are pretty simple. But Ashleigh doesn’t move at all. She’s trying very hard. Or maybe she fell asleep. “OK, what is it?”
“What is mizu, water?”
“You’re smart, Miss Li. I like that. And you phrased your answer in the form of a question, so you’re a Jeopardy watcher. I like you more now.”
She turns over with the baby, who is miraculously still asleep. “My turn. Face the other way. And since you think you’re so smart, let’s do kanji to English for one thousand, please, Alex. I’ll even repeat the pattern three times for you, just so you’re not at a disadvantage.”
I smile and turn over.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”She traces the lines on my back and I shudder before I can stop the reaction. “You OK?” she asks.
“Yes. Keep going.”
She starts again. “This is the first character.” She draws a lot of lines. One is slanted and almost connected to a vertical one. The rest are horizontal with a box at the bottom. “OK, second one.”
“I’ve already guessed it.”
“You have not, now quiet.” She traces the second character, which is much more complicated than the first. I know the answer, but I want to see what she’ll make me do if she wins, so when she finishes, I lie.
“What is shinkou, faith?”
“Ha! I got you! It’s shinrai, trust.”
“Your characters are sloppy, it’s not my fault.”
She puts her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I think you knew it was trust and you’re lying. But I don’t care. I’m gonna take the win because cheating means you forfeit.”
“You got me. Now how can I please you?”
“You have to turn around first.”
“No kissing,” I say as I change positions.
“No, no kissing. I’m not gonna force a man to kiss me, that’s ridiculous. I want to ask a question, but it’s an easy one, is that OK?”
She stares at me in the dim light. She’s not pretty—she’s beautiful. I’m appalled that I didn’t see it immediately. Her dark hair is straight and long, even in the front. So it hangs over her eyes a little and she is constantly brushing it out of her face. Even now, she does this with a gentle sweep of her fingertip. Her nose is small and has a little upturn to it. And her lips. Fuck, her lips are plump in the center and then thin towards the corners of her mouth. I want to bite them, to see if they are as soft as they look, but I take a breath instead. “It’s your win, you can ask away.”
She smiles, but it’s not the devious one like when she ambushed me back in Vail. It makes her eyes lift up a little and the stray light catches them with a glint that makes it impossible for me to look away. “Why do you think you’re weird?” she asks in a whisper. Like it’s a secret.
“I am weird. Everyone knows this.”
Her eyes dart back and forth, watching me like I’m watching her. What does she see? My unshaven jaw? My dark eyes? My thoughts? Is she a mind-reader too? “You’re very handsome,” she says in that low voice. “You’re strong and confident. You’re smart, like super-smart, I think. I found a journal with equations in your closet.”
We’re still watching each other, on the verge of something. A new opinion. A new direction. Something. “You really are a snoop.”
She takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, did I cross a line?”
“No. Equations are not personal.” She’s visibly relieved. “Are you afraid of me?” I’m not even sure where that came from, the words just fall out of my mouth.
Her head moves, just the slightest shake. “No.” Her voice is so soft, like our lives depend on this perfect discretion in the darkness.
“Even after I spanked you?”
She looks away at the mention of the spankings. She did not like it. Not the way I did it. “We talked about that afterward. It was a game.”