The Goodbye

Eleven years ago

My parents had been screaming at each other for more than an hour. I held Addy in my arms as we lay on her bed, quietly listening. We both wanted my dad to do something, but he never did. It didn’t stop us from hoping, though.

When the door slammed, my mother’s sobs grew louder, and I thought we would be in for a fight, but then she screamed, and the door slammed again as she went after him. We were alone now. The silence in the house was as peaceful as it got around here.

“Do you think she should be driving?” Addy whispered, even though no one was in the house to hear us.

“No, but I can’t stop her,” I replied. I probably could, but that meant bringing her back into the house and making Addy a target. I wasn’t willing to do that.

“He’s not coming back, is he?” she asked, and there was fear in her tone. We both knew that if this went to court, Addy would be taken out of our home and sent somewhere else. I wouldn’t let them take her from me. Who knew what kind of situation she’d land in next? At least here, she had me.

“No, but I’m not letting anyone take you,” I assured her.

She snuggled closer to me and tilted her head up to press a kiss to my jawline. “I love you,” she said softly.

“I love you, too. Always,” I replied. And I meant it. I’d love her forever.

“Promise?” she asked

“Swear to God.”

That made her smile, and I loved making her smile. “Will you sleep in here with me?”

My answer was always yes. “Yeah, nowhere else I’d rather be.”

She moved her hands up to squeeze my arms tightly. “Kiss me, please.”

Again, another request I’d never turn down.

Her lips were so soft it made me want to be careful with them, but she always pressed harder, deepening our kisses, until I forgot to treat her like she was fragile. Her hands slid up my chest, as she grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and arched her body against me. Every curve pressed against me. The plumpness of her breasts teased me, because I hadn’t touched her there yet. Not really. But God, I wanted to, and the way she was rubbing against me, I knew she wanted it, too. She was ready.

In the darkness of her room, lit only by moonlight streaming through the one small window above her dresser, we were cocooned in our safe world. The one we created to forget about the evil around us. We didn’t think of our desires as being wrong. We had seen wrong, and we knew this wasn’t it. The feeling was too genuine. Our hearts were leading this. I’d been with girls when it was just about lust. I knew the difference.

Slowly, I slipped a hand under her shirt, and she stilled, her breathing heavy, as I moved it up and over her bra to cup her right breast. She shuddered as I ran my thumb over the pebbled nipple pushing against the worn cotton. I needed more. Tugging down the front, I freed both breasts and moved my other hand up so I had them both full. Addy rolled onto her back and let out a small moan that made my cock jerk in reaction. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she arched her back, giving me more, and I took it. My blood was pumping so hard I could hear it as I slid her shirt off and threw it onto the floor before taking off her bra.

Her eyes opened, and she looked at me with a mix of need and uncertainty.

“You’re beautiful,” I told her, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.

She opened for me so easily and wrapped her arms around me. Her hard nipples, now bare, pressed into my chest, and my cock twitched again. I began a trail of kisses down her jaw toward her neck and then spent some time on her collarbone, before moving my hands to cup each round, creamy breast. Pale pink nipples, more perfect than anything I’d ever seen, grew even harder as my mouth moved closer, and I pulled one into my mouth.

Addy cried out my name, and her hands went to my head and held on to my hair as she squirmed under me. Tonight I’d have to stop here, but I knew this was just the beginning. I’d been in love with Addy for a while now, but she’d just given me a taste of more. I’d never want anyone but her. This was as close to heaven as any man could get.

Addy

Franny stared at me without saying a word. I was worried that I’d rushed this or that I hadn’t thought it through or that she was upset that I’d kept it from her since we’d arrived.

“So . . . he wants to meet me, too, then?” she finally asked, her eyes big with wonder. This had been her one request for so long. Having it placed in front of her had to be overwhelming. I let out the breath I was holding when I realized her silence wasn’t because she was angry; she was being given something she wanted desperately.

“Yes, he does. Very much. He had no idea you existed. There was a misunderstanding that kept us apart, and it has taken me a very long time to find him. But he’s glad I did. He wants to know you, too, and be a part of your life.”

She scrunched her nose. “Our life, you mean?”

No . . . not ours. Just hers.

I knew that from our conversation last night and from watching him over the past few months. He wasn’t interested in getting to know me. I didn’t appeal to him now. The people we once were no longer existed. Not really.

“He wants to know you, sweetie. You’re his child. We did love each other very much once, and you were conceived from that love. But we’ve grown up and changed since then. We don’t have those feelings anymore.”

Franny nodded as if she understood, but I could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t. Not at all. When you’re nine, it’s hard to make sense of a lot of things. Especially things your mother has a hard time coming to terms with. “Will you be there when I see him?”