The Goodbye

He shook his head and stood up. “I changed it because I wanted to forget what River Kipling had suffered. I wanted to start a life where that past could be forgotten.” That was it. All he was going to say. Reaching out his hand, he said, “Give me your phone. I’ll put my number in it.”

I didn’t question him. I did as he asked. He quickly added his number to my contacts and handed the phone back to me.

Standing, I waited for more, but he turned and headed for the door. I watched him until he stopped and turned to look back at me. “I’m not accepting your resignation letter. I was an ass the other night. I won’t be again. It was a stressful night, and Brad deserved that correction, not you. I’ll see you tomorrow evening for work. And talk to Franny. I’ve already lost enough time with her. Call me as soon as she’s ready.”

Then he opened the door and walked out without waiting for me to respond.

I had never imagined this was how tonight would end.

I walked over to the window to watch Captain get into his truck and drive away. Once he was gone, I made my way outside to get Franny from Mrs. Baylor’s.

I planned to keep Franny home from school the next day. We were going to have all the time she needed to talk about Captain. I knew she’d have questions. I also knew she’d want to meet Captain officially as soon as possible. She’d been waiting a long time to meet her father.

• • •

I started making chocolate-chip pancakes, which were Franny’s favorite, and texted Captain.

I’m talking to Franny today. She’ll want to see you soon. Let me know when you’re available.

It took him only seconds to respond.

I’ll be ready when she is.

This was River. I didn’t have access to him anymore, but maybe, for Franny, he would be the guy I’d once known. The protector who would do or be whatever she needed.

I trusted him. I just hoped I wasn’t wrong.

“Are those chocolate chip?” Franny’s sleepy voice asked. I could sense the excitement in her tone.

“Yes, they are,” I replied, holding up the bag of chips.

“Yay! I’ll pour the milk,” she said, running over to the fridge.

“Good idea. These are almost done.”

Franny concentrated on not spilling the milk, and I finished the pancakes. Once we had the table set, I glanced over at the clock, while Franny covered up a yawn and sank into a chair.

“Today we’re going to hang out, just you and me. No school. How’s that sound?” I said a little too brightly.

Franny studied me a moment. “Are we moving again?” she asked, with dread in her voice.

I shook my head no and smiled. “No, but I have something I want to talk to you about. A good thing. So let’s eat, and then we can talk all you want.”

She didn’t pick up her fork. “What good thing?”

I shouldn’t have mentioned it yet. She was an impatient kid. She liked knowing the ending before she read a book or watched a movie. It figured she’d want to know what the talk was about before we had it. “You eat first, then we’ll talk,” I replied, before taking a bite.

Franny looked down at her pancakes and gave in. She couldn’t resist her favorite treat. I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed time to focus and prepare before I told my daughter that she had met her father for the first time yesterday.

Captain

I hadn’t slept at all last night. When I’d gotten back to the boat, I’d grabbed a bottle of whiskey and taken several long swigs, before putting my fist through a wall. Then I’d thrown a chair and broken the leg. I’d leaned back and cradled my head in my hands while the emotions raging inside me destroyed me.

Addy is alive. We have a daughter. I’d lost all those years with both of them. I’d killed men and lost every piece of my fucking soul except for the one that still held on to the love I had for that girl. A girl who I wasn’t even sure liked me anymore. Who the fuck could blame her?

I’d been an ass to her. I had fucking acted annoyed when her kid—no, our kid—was sick, and she had taken care of her alone. Holy fucking hell! My kid. She’d been taking care of my kid, and I had made her feel as if it were a problem. The sick knot in my stomach twisted as I remembered every conversation I’d had with her since she’d walked back into my life.

Looking into her eyes last night had been my undoing. I’d had to get the hell out of that house. Get some distance. I’d been so close to dropping to my knees and begging her to forgive me. Which might have been the best thing I could have done. But I’d been so emotionally raw I hadn’t been sure I could say much more.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket again to look at the simple text she’d sent, just so I could see her name on my screen. Addy. My chest constricted, and I took a shallow breath. She was here. This was real.

I had lain awake so many nights, imagining what our life would be like now if I’d only been there to protect her. She was my ultimate reason in life for fighting. Every battle I fought, every wrong I righted, had been for her.

But for what? She had withdrawn from me. I had let her down. I’d killed the guy she once knew. This was me now. It was all I had left. And I’d never be enough for her. She deserved so much more.

I had been out seeking justice for others while the one person in the world I’d ever loved or cared about was struggling to make it.

I wasn’t going into work until Addy called. I couldn’t. Standing on my boat, holding my phone close to me, waiting for her next text, was all I could do.