The Goodbye

After breaking shit and getting out my anger and frustration at how fucking unfair our lives had turned out, I was ready to see our daughter. I was ready to see her as mine. Knowing that we’d made a child during the brightest and happiest time of our lives somehow eased the bad memories. Franny made everything that had come after worth it.

I just wished I could have been there. The life Addy and I had imagined, cuddled together in her bed, would never happen, but at least I had this. I had a part of her that was mine, too. We shared something—no, we shared someone. The product of the only love I’d ever experienced.

The idea that Addy might have loved again felt like a butcher knife to the gut. There had been other women for me, but I’d never given my heart to anyone else. What if she had? What if I hadn’t been her only love, just her first? Could I deal with that kind of information? Fuck, no. I’d have to break more shit, because when it came to Addy, I was irrational.

I noticed her car the moment it turned onto the small street, and I stood up so she would see me. This was it. I was going to meet my daughter. It was also my chance to show Addy that I wasn’t a completely cold bastard.

The car stopped in a parking spot a few feet away, and I could see all that blond hair, so much like her mother’s. It stood out, just like Addy’s always had. Addy turned and said something to her, and Franny nodded before they opened their doors and stepped out.

Franny’s face watched me with a mixture of hope, fear, and excitement. She was as easy to read as Addy was. I was beginning to think that she’d gotten nothing from me, but to have a daughter who was the exact replica of Addy wasn’t a bad thing—or at least, it wouldn’t be until she was old enough to date. Then I’d have to make sure boys knew how well I handled a gun.

The thought made me scowl, and Franny halted her steps. I realized what I was doing and shook the thought away, putting a smile on my face that wouldn’t scare my kid. She relaxed some and reached for her mother’s hand before walking the rest of the way toward me.

I shifted my gaze to Addy, who had her long red hair pulled to the side in a low ponytail over her shoulder. Her shoulders were bare, and her fair skin displayed a smattering of freckles. I used to tease her about them while kissing each one of them, which always made her laugh.

The pale blue of her tank top matched her eyes, making them shine even brighter as she looked at me. There was a slight warning in them, but there was also trust. She was trusting me to enter Franny’s life, but I could see that the mother in her was a protector. Again, something we had never had in a parent. I loved that she made sure our daughter had what we had always longed for. I would make sure that Franny got that from both parents now.

“Hello, Captain,” Addy said, with a small smile. “Franny probably has a lot of questions for you. I hope you’re prepared for an inquisitive little girl. But let’s get some ice cream first and just get to know each other. Ease into this.” She was in control, and I was OK with that. She knew what made Franny comfortable. Even if I wanted to stare at Franny and ask her about school and her favorite music and what kind of movies she liked, it wasn’t time just yet.

I nodded my agreement and tried to reassure her with my gaze that I wouldn’t mess this up. I wanted to keep that trust she’d given me. I wanted Franny happy, too.

We walked inside, and Franny looked up at her mom. “What kind are you getting?”

“Mint chocolate chip,” I answered for Addy, remembering that she always chose it if it was available. I would sneak money from my mom’s purse and take her to get ice cream after school whenever I could.

Addy’s eyes widened, and she looked up at me before turning back to Franny. “Um, mint chocolate chip,” she repeated.

Franny beamed at both of us. “She always gets that. I keep thinking she’ll change her mind. She never does,” Franny explained, as she looked over the different flavors.

“And you never get the same flavor twice,” Addy said, then took a quick peek at me. “Like someone else I know,” she whispered, smiling. She was not only letting me know that she remembered that I liked to try every flavor but also showing me that our daughter had some of my traits, too. Franny might have been Addy’s Mini Me, but she had her own personality. I could tell that already.

“I want to do the praline pecan. It has pecan pieces in it. See?” Franny said, pointing to the ice cream.

“Cone preference?” I asked her.

She turned her excited face toward me. “I like waffle cones.”

I already knew what Addy liked. I turned to the young boy waiting to take our orders. “Two scoops of pecan praline in a waffle cone, two scoops of mint chocolate chip in a sugar cone, and a scoop of each of those in a waffle cone.”

“Mommy never gets us two scoops,” Franny said, her eyes big as she looked at her mother.

“It’s OK. Today’s a treat day,” Addy assured her.

I felt Addy’s gaze on me and met it with my own.

“You don’t like mint chocolate chip,” she said matter-of-factly.

That had been true at one point, but over the past ten years, mint chocolate chip was all I ever ate. I wasn’t telling her that, though. Instead, I shrugged. “I’m a daredevil.”

She grinned and shook her head, before reaching for the cone full of pecan praline that the guy handed over the counter. “Here you go, sweetie. Let’s find a good spot in the shade to eat this.”

Franny hurried for the door while licking her ice cream, and Addy turned back to me. “I’ll pay for ours.”