The Goodbye

Like fucking hell she’d pay. “I got this,” I said, then took her cone from the guy and handed it to her. “Go help Franny find a spot.”

Addy studied me a moment, gave me a small nod, and did as I’d asked.

Addy

He was different. This wasn’t the man I’d come to know over the past month. He wasn’t as hard and cold. The fact that he remembered my favorite ice cream may have gotten to me a little. It was as if, for a moment, I had River again. I didn’t want to expect that or hope for it, though. But I was glad for Franny that this was the man she would meet and know.

“He’s really tall,” Franny said quietly. “He seems strong.”

Tall and strong. That was what she thought so far. I smiled as we sat down at a round table with a large umbrella blocking the sun.

“He also bought our ice cream. That’s nice.”

I agreed with a nod. “He’s a good man.” Deep down, I knew he was.

Franny grinned and licked her cone.

“Good spot,” Captain said, as he pulled out a chair on the other side of Franny and across from me. “Ice cream good?” he asked, looking at Franny.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand while nodding vigorously. “I love it here. We got to come here once for a treat when we first moved in. But it costs a lot, so we don’t come anymore.”

I wanted to crawl under the table and hide, but I had nothing to be ashamed of. Franny was not a deprived child. She had a good life, and I’d given that to her. I held my head high, as if what she’d just said wasn’t embarrassing to me at all.

“Ice cream all the time takes away the thrill of it. You’d get bored. Keeps it a treat when you only get it every once in a while,” Captain said. I could feel his gaze on me, and I lifted my eyes from my own cone. He gave me a small smile and took a lick of his ice cream.

“Mom said that you used to take her to get ice cream a lot. Did it get boring?” Franny asked with complete sincerity.

Over the years, whenever she asked about her dad, she’d ask me to tell her something about him. She remembered every single story. I dropped my eyes back to my ice cream. I hoped he understood that I didn’t fill her head because I was holding out hope that something would happen between us; I just gave her pieces of him along the way.

“Yeah, I did, and you have a point. It never got boring,” Captain replied.

“I didn’t think so. It tastes too good. We have ice cream for lunch at school on Wednesdays. But it doesn’t taste like this, and it’s only vanilla or chocolate.”

“Is that so?” Captain was listening to her intently, and she was eating up the attention.

“Then on Fridays, we get a cupcake to celebrate all the birthdays that week, and sometimes we get red velvet. Those are my favorite. Except my friend Anna likes the chocolate ones best, so her favorite week isn’t my favorite week and . . .” Franny had her father’s attention, and she was on a roll. I leaned back and enjoyed my ice cream, while our daughter told Captain everything he could ever want to know about her life. She hardly came up for air. The only breaks he got were when she needed to take a lick of ice cream, and even then, he barely had a chance to catch his breath before she started talking again.

I stared out over the ocean, but every once in a while, I’d steal peeks at Captain to see how he was handling such a chatty nine-year-old. Every time, he looked fascinated. As if there was nothing she could say that would bore him. He nodded his head and said the right things at the right moments. This only made Franny more eager. I had a feeling she’d been saving it all up for this very day.

The way he interacted with her made it clear I’d been wrong to hold back from telling him about her. Hiding from him had been my way of protecting her, but had I really thought that the heart I once knew could be so different ten years later? Even if he had changed and hardened some, his goodness and protective instinct were still in there. I knew Franny had just become one of the luckiest little girls in the world.

Because when River Joshua Kipling decided you were worth protecting, he did it with everything he had.

Ten years ago

She was yelling, and we could hear her outside. River stopped at the front door and put his hand in front of me, holding me back. “You go to our spot at the pond. I’ll deal with her and then meet you there.”

If I didn’t go into that house, she’d be furious. He knew that. Last week, she had thrown a glass at his head when he sent me to my room and told me to lock the door. I wasn’t letting her do that again. Thank goodness his reflexes kept him from getting hit.

“No, I’m going in. She’s been threatening for weeks to send me away. I don’t want to give her a reason.” I knew that using my fear of leaving him would be the only way he would agree.

“I won’t let her.”

“River, you can’t stop her.”

“She won’t send you away, because she knows I’ll report her. I’ll call social services. I’ll leave, too. She knows it. You’re not going to be taken away from me.” The determination in his voice made me feel safe, even though I was standing outside a house with a madwoman raging inside.

“She’s on the phone with Dad,” he said, reaching down to squeeze my hand. “Go to the pond for me.”

I shook my head. “No. I won’t leave you here.”

River sighed, then turned to face me and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. He towered over me now at six feet. “Addy, please. I can handle her and calm her down. But if she hurts you, I will hurt her. I don’t want to hurt my mother. She needs help. I need to go in there knowing you’re safe.”