The Goddess Test (Goddess Test #1)(55)
Author: Aimee Carter

Calliope stared at the carpet, her cheeks red. “Me neither.”

I was silent, not knowing how to respond. Had she even intended for me to hear it? But she didn’t say anything else, so I didn’t press her. Eventually I stood on my aching legs and eased back down in my chair, wincing when my head protested. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was bad enough to make me glad I didn’t have to trek down to the dining room for dinner tonight.

“I have an idea,” said Calliope cheerfully. Her bright mood, so different from what it’d been only seconds before, startled me.

“Yeah?” I said, not meaning to sound as suspicious as I did.

“A picnic—tomorrow, once we’ve both recovered. We can walk out to the river and bring a blanket and everything. It’s supposed to be warm.”

After getting a good look at the way she was beaming, there was no way I could’ve said no. She felt bad enough about getting Henry and me into trouble, and an afternoon away from the drama and confusion of the manor sounded wonderful. The thought of the river still sent a shiver down my spine, but I did my best to ignore it.

“That sounds great,” I said, and Calliope grinned. At the very least it would serve as a nice distraction from the possibility that I’d already failed.

Henry didn’t show up that night, and for the first time since Christmas, I slept alone. I tried not to think about it too much, but in the dark with Pogo curled up beside me, it was impossible not to. Was he mad at me because I’d made him sleep with me and subsequently failed because of it? But I hadn’t made him, had I? He hadn’t tried to stop me.

Was he mad because I said I’d loved him, and now that the drug had worn off, he realized how stupid it sounded? Or did he feel guilty about it? I didn’t care if he still loved Persephone. While I didn’t exactly like her, he was dedicated and loyal, and that he could still love someone who’d been so horrible to him—there was nothing to feel guilty about.

Unless he felt guilty because he loved his wife so much. Did he feel like he’d betrayed her?

It was an accident, not a mistake, unless Henry thought it was. Maybe it wasn’t exactly how I’d envisioned it all happening, but it hadn’t been bad enough to make him feel like he had to stay away. Had it?

Or maybe he felt guilty for giving in and helping me fail. Even if that was the truth, it didn’t explain his absence. It hadn’t been his fault, and if I really had failed, there was no point in me staying in Eden Manor anymore. But I was still here, and that had to mean something.

I slept badly, and even my dreams with my mother brought me no comfort. I was quiet and withdrawn, and while she asked me again and again what was wrong, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I hated myself for it, not wanting to squander my last few weeks with her, but even if I could talk to her about it, I didn’t know what I would say. She was placing all of her hopes for my future in Henry, and I couldn’t tell her how badly I’d managed to destroy it. It would break her heart, and at least one of us deserved to be happy.

Thinking of Henry hurt, and the morning brought no reprieve. I tried to leave my bedroom, but Henry’s orders hadn’t changed: I was stuck in that room until someone Henry trusted—which seemed to be limited to himself, Nicholas and Calliope—came to pick me up. There wasn’t anywhere to go, but I hated being caged.

But wasn’t that exactly what I’d been for the past six months? The small voice in the back of my head was surprisingly bitter. Hadn’t I been caged like some sort of animal, like I belonged to him?

No. I’d walked into this willingly, and he’d made it clear I wasn’t being held against my will. It was terrible of me to even think otherwise. I wasn’t Persephone.

Calliope came to pick me up at noon, picnic basket in hand. She looked so happy that it felt like the conversation we’d had the day before never happened, and I didn’t dare bring it up. We linked arms, and while we moved through the corridors, I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of Henry. He’d always been there when I wanted him to be, but now there was no sign of him.

As we left the house, Nicholas trailed a few feet behind us. While being followed was still annoying, it was comforting to have him there; limp or not, no one could’ve been crazy enough to mess with him. Pogo also seemed fond of him as he followed him through the garden, sticking close to Nicholas instead of me.

“Kate?”

I looked up at the sound of my name, but that was as far as I got. In an instant, Nicholas was between me and Ava, who was standing on the other side of the fountain. It was the closest I’d been to her since Christmas.

I didn’t want to ignore her, but between all that had happened with Henry, she was one more thing I couldn’t find the energy to deal with. She made me feel guilty, and I felt enough things right now without piling that on as well.

“Kate—” Ava tried to move around Nicholas, but he was massive. “Please. They wouldn’t let me into your room, and I need to—”

“Don’t you get it?” said Calliope so viciously that I stared at her, surprised. “She doesn’t want to talk to you.”

I could see Ava’s expression underneath Nicholas’s left elbow, and she looked stunned. “Kate,” she said, her eyes welling with tears. “Please. Just for a minute.”

I stood there with my feet rooted to the ground. I’d never seen her look so scared in her life, and against my better judgment, I said, “What is it?”

She looked at Nicholas and Calliope nervously. “Can we talk alone?”

Nicholas scowled. “No one is alone with her.”

“Please, Nicholas,” said Ava in such a familiar way that made me wonder if she had gotten to him as well. “I just need a moment—”

Calliope cut her off. “We’re leaving now.” Tugging at my elbow, she led me toward the forest. I didn’t fight her, though I would’ve insisted on speaking with Ava only a few days before. But someone had to have done this to Henry and me, and as much as I hated the thought, Ava had the motivation to do it. All she would’ve had to do was slip into the kitchen and spike our drinks. Maybe she’d only been trying to help, to give me and Henry a push, not realizing what the consequences would be. Or maybe she’d been trying to ruin things for me so completely that I felt as alone as she did. Neither possibility was pleasant.

As we reached the edge of the trees, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Nicholas holding Ava’s arm, stopping her from following us. She fought back, whirling around to face him and giving him a lecture I was glad I couldn’t hear. But at least she wasn’t following us.