The Hardest Fall

Dylan looked at me, either taking in my words or deciding how to respond, or both. I wondered if I’d revealed too much of my feelings, not that I’d have cared if I had.

“I missed you more than I had any right to miss you, and it ate at me,” he said before the silence could become awkward. “I was so pissed at myself because I couldn’t even hate you. Do you realize how hard it was for me to work with him, knowing he got you and I didn’t? How hard it still is? You thought of me the moment you woke up, and I thought of nothing but you ever since. I hated that you’d do that to me, that you’d lie to me that way. When I saw you get in his car, I didn’t believe it, you know. I was sure you’d explain it, but when I came home and found you two…so close, and him touching you…”

“Can I tell you everything now?”

“Yeah, you have to, and please don’t leave anything out.”

“I won’t,” I promised, and knowing that everything would be okay after, that he’d still be standing right in front of me, I told him everything. I started from the very beginning, that first moment my mom told me about Mark and Chris, and finished with how I’d talked to Chris just days after he’d walked in on me and Mark arguing.

“I wanted to find you the next day, and I even called you, but you’d already blocked me. The more I thought about it, the more scared I got that he’d do something to mess with you on the field. The threat was there, and I have no idea if he’d have the power to do it. I wasn’t giving up on you, but I didn’t think running to you right after I left was the best idea either. I gave myself time, until the game, knowing I’d tell you after the Cactus Bowl—that I was sure of.”

For the amount of time it took me to tell him everything, we sat in the exact same position: him right between my legs, touching me, constantly touching me. When I had trouble voicing something, he’d squeezed my waist, reminding me he was there, right there with me. At one point, his hands pushed under my shirt and we were skin to skin. He distracted me countless times but would nudge me to keep going because he was taking in every word I was saying.

His face was tilted down as he listened to me with his focus on his hands, drawing lazy circles on my skin under my shirt, as if he couldn’t help himself.

“That’s why I don’t want you to go to him or tell him anything about this, Dylan.”

He looked up at me. “You can’t ask me to do that, Zoe.”

“I just did. That’s why I came here—I couldn’t not tell you, but I don’t want the whole wait to be for nothing.”

“I’m not going to stay away from you until draft day, Flash. You can get that out of your head right now. Now that I know everything, nothing you say can keep me away from you.”

Smiling, I leaned down, pressed a kiss to his lips, and pulled back.

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything remotely close to that, even on the off chance that you didn’t want me anymore.”

Then he was the one leaning forward and capturing my lips, his tongue doing things that left me in awe. When he drew back, his eyes were clear.

“What do you want then?”

“I saw how hard you worked to get where you are—just living with you for a few months was enough for me to see that. I’m not gonna be the reason for even the possibility that—”

“What are you asking of me?”

“Just don’t make it obvious that you know, that’s all.”

He gripped my waist in his hands and my body jolted.

“I can’t have you sleeping somewhere else, Flash. I can’t go another day without waking up to you wrapped around me. We’ll find a small apartment and move in together. I know I only have a few months until the draft, and after that—”

Not even trying to contain my smile, I might have shouted my response a bit louder than I was aiming for. “Yes. Yes. Yes!” With the way I was acting, you’d have thought he’d asked me to marry him.

It was the worry in his face that smoothed out first—as if he’d really thought I could pass up the chance to wake up to him for however long—and then he laughed with me.

I couldn’t stop touching him, couldn’t stop looking into his eyes. “Okay, don’t freak out, but I’m falling for you so hard, Dylan Reed—complete free fall. I’ll probably land pretty soon, too.”

His smile turned playful and he stood up.

“Land where?”

I pushed at his shoulder as his hands started shifting higher underneath my shirt, making me hyper aware of how close we were standing, how affected I was by his touch.

“You know what I mean.” For the first time in a while, I avoided his eyes. “And I want you to fall for me too. I want it so badly—so badly, Dylan. I want to be someone important to you, want to be the kind of someone you are to me, someone you can’t live without. And fine, maybe I’m a little weird—that’s a big maybe—but I want you to…like the fact that I’m weird, and want me—”

“That’s easy, Flash. You’re my best friend, like I told you you’d be, and I already love your brand of weird. I’ll never forget seeing those neatly stacked M&Ms in the kitchen, and the love you have for pizza? That’s a whole other level of weirdness.”

I groaned and pushed my face into his neck.

“Everyone loves pizza—that’s not weird.”

“Not as much as you do, though.”

Dylan slowly dragged his hands back down, and every inch of skin on my body buzzed with awareness. Then his hands were cupping my face and he was pulling me away from his neck to look into my eyes.

“I’ll catch you when you land, Flash. Just don’t take too much time, because I’m already there, impatiently waiting for you.”

I blinked. “You can’t make a joke about something like that, Dylan.”

“Who said I’m joking? You happened in a heartbeat Zoe, I had no chance.”

Did that mean what I thought it meant? Then his lips were on mine and I was kissing him as if our lives depended on it, and all thoughts evaporated from my mind. His hands let go of my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck to get closer and let out a surprised squeak when he pulled me down to his lap.

“Shit,” I cursed, reaching back to grab the edge of the bar top. “Dylan, I’m heavy. You can’t—”

“I can do anything I want to you now.”

Did he think that was a threat?

His brows drew together. “Wait, Chris? He never mentioned anything to me.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “We’ve only talked twice since I told him, but he texted me to let me know you were here, so maybe…” A small shrug. “Maybe we’ll talk more. Up to him.”

“So I’m banging my best friend’s sister, huh? I like it.”

He grinned, and I grinned back.

“I don’t feel any banging happening, but if you say—”

The words died in my mouth as we kissed again and I was carried…away…somewhere.

When a door opened and closed, and my back hit a wall, our lips still connected, I opened my eyes to see where we were. We could’ve walked for hours and I wouldn’t have noticed. Apparently, he’d only carried me up the stairs I’d seen earlier; we were in Jimmy’s office. I registered the mostly empty mahogany desk, small old-school safe, tall file cabinet, and couch. It wasn’t big in the slightest, but it did look pretty comfy, and I was more than happy to spend the night on it with Dylan. Since it was so small, it meant I’d get to creep even closer to him.