The Liberation of Alice Love(90)
Author: Abby McDonald

“No!” Alice protested. “I mean, yes, at the gym, and a couple of other classes, but…”

“I…don’t understand.” Nadia looked slowly back and forth between them, her forehead creasing in a frown. “Ella, what’s going on?”

“Her name isn’t Ella,” Nathan said, his eyes not leaving her. “It’s Alice. Alice Love.”

“Nathan—”

Nadia frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Yes, Alice, what do you mean?” Nathan folded his arms.

“I can explain,” she said again, but the note of guilt in her voice was clear.

“Excuse me.” A young waiter bobbed nervously just behind them, his arms full of plates. “Could you maybe take this outside? You’re blocking the way.”

“Of course,” Alice told him, at the same time Nathan said, “No need.” He pulled his wallet from his jacket pocket and pulled out several notes, tossing them on the table. “I think this should cover it.”

“Nathan!” Alice felt something twist inside. He wasn’t even getting angry, just staring at her with terrible self-control. “This is all just a silly misunderstanding!”

“I’m sure,” he agreed, almost too affable. “Nadia, good to meet you…” With a nod, and a final glance at Alice, he turned to leave, striding quickly out of the restaurant into the dark street.

Alice grabbed her things and hurried after him, dashing out into the rain. “Nathan, wait!”

He took three more steps and then stopped. She caught up with him, breathless. “I can explain!” she insisted again, clutching his hand. “Ella had signed up for the membership, and there was time left on the card, so I thought…” Alice swallowed, hearing the inadequacy of her own words. “But then, of course, I had to go along with it as Ella because, well, I thought it would cause too many questions and by that point, I was just sick of them, so—”

“So you assumed her identity,” Nathan finished.

Alice nodded. The rain was soaking through her thin dress, but she didn’t care—all that mattered was that Nathan listened, that he understood what she’d been trying to do.

“A wanted criminal, and you were just running around, using her alias?” Nathan shook his head in disbelief. “And this Nadia—she doesn’t know who you really are? You said she’s a friend.”

“She is. But I met her in class, so I introduced myself as Ella, and after that…” Alice glanced down, miserable. “It just seemed easier.”

“God, Alice!” Pulling away, he took a couple of paces farther down the street before swinging back. “Do you realize how stupid…No, how dangerous…” Nathan stopped, clearly lost for words.

“You’re right!” Alice exclaimed. “You’re completely right, which is why I stopped. I haven’t been back anywhere as Ella for weeks now!”

“You mean…You’ve been doing this all along?”

Alice realized that, perhaps, full disclosure wasn’t her best tactic. But something made her keep talking, wanting to tell him everything, no matter how strange it was.

“I wanted to understand her!” she tried. “To see who she really was, underneath it all. I tracked down the places she went, and the people she’d talked to—only, they knew her as me, as Alice, so…So I became Ella, instead.”

Nathan just stared at her.

“It wasn’t going to hurt anyone!” she cried. “It was just a few little lies, while I investigated.”

“She was a criminal!” Nathan yelled back. “I’ve been running around, trying to separate your public records—to prove your innocence—and all this time…”

“I am innocent!” But Alice’s voice caught in her throat. It wasn’t true, she knew, not anymore.

Nathan clearly thought so too. He shook his head again, final, as if dislodging all affection for her. “I can’t talk to you about this, not right now.”

“But please—”

“I mean it, Alice; I don’t want to know.” He looked at her for a long moment, and the disappointment in his expression made Alice want to cry. “You’ll get home OK?”

She nodded, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“Right, then.” Nathan let out a sigh, and for a moment Alice hoped he might reconsider, just calm down and try to understand.

Instead, he walked away.

She turned back toward the restaurant, clutching her jacket forlornly in her hand as her dress clung to her in wet patches and water dripped down her face.

“What did he mean, your name is Alice?” Nadia was sheltering in the doorway, arms folded.

Alice stopped. “I’m sorry.”

Nadia’s eyes widened. “You mean—it’s true? But…why?”

“I got, carried away.” Alice felt even more shameful than ever. Nadia was blinking at her from behind her thin glasses, utterly confused. It was a feeling Alice knew all too well.

“I don’t understand.”

“My name isn’t Ella,” Alice admitted. “And I’m not a legal assistant, either. I just…I made it up.”

Nadia blinked. “But…” She gaped at Alice for a long moment, before finally finding the words. “What is wrong with you?”

Alice dropped her head.

“I thought you were my friend!”

“I’m sorry,” Alice said again, meaning it. “I know how you feel!”

Nadia shook her head. “I don’t believe this. What are you, some kind of con woman?”

“No! I swear, I was never going to do anything. I really like you—”

“Just get away from me!” Nadia recoiled, as if Alice was some sort of freak.

“But Nadia—”

“No, I mean it. I…I trusted you!” Nadia’s voice broke. She backed away, angry. “I don’t understand…”

“Please, if you just listen—”

“No!” She shook her head, recovering. “Don’t you get it? I never want to see you again.” Pulling open the door, Nadia disappeared back into the restaurant. Alice could see her through the window, hurrying back to her table, no doubt to tell her date what a psycho Alice was.

She sighed, slumping back against the glass. Rain was still drizzling in a steady stream, but Alice found that she didn’t care one bit about the damp or cold. It was over now. She couldn’t just flee her lies like Ella had done, easy and quick. No, Alice’s consequences were tangled around her, the wreckage clear in Nadia’s hurt expression and Nathan’s angry tone.