The Rules of Attraction (Page 92)

“Came over to pick up some stuff,” Bateman said, innocently enough.

“Did you?” Rupert asked, moving in and out of the darkness, circling us.

“Where’s Roxanne?” Bateman asked. “You’re impossible.”

“Where is my money goddamnit, Bateman?” Rupert roared as if he was deaf and hadn’t heard Bateman. I couldn’t believe this.

“You’re crazy,” Sean said, perplexed. “Where’s Roxanne?”

One of the townies had gotten up. He was mean looking: beer-belly, a crew-cut. He leaned against the kitchen door. I moved back and bumped into a cabinet. I had no idea what the problem was, though it seemed clear to me that it had to do with money. I didn’t know if Rupert owed Bateman or if Bateman owed Rupert, but something was clearly f**ked. Rupert was coked-up and trying to act tough, but the act was unconvincing and not very threatening. There was little light in the kitchen and where it was coming from I couldn’t tell. Something flashed in the darkness and glinted again.

“Where’s the money, you ass**le?” Rupert demanded.

“I’m waiting in the car,” I said. “Excuse me.”

“Wait,” Bateman said, holding me back.

“Wait for what, you ass**le?” Rupert asked.

“Listen,” Sean paused. Then he looked at me. “He’s got it.”

“You’ve got it?” Rupert asked, calming down and seriously interested.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that one of the townies, big and drunk, was holding a machete. What in the hell was a f**king machete doing in New Hampshire?

“Whoa, now wait a minute,” I said, raising my hands up. “Now, I don’t know what the hell’s going on. I just came for some bud. I’m leaving.”

“Come on Mitchell,” Sean said. “Give Rupert the money.”

“What in the f**k are you talking about?” I screamed. “I’m waiting in the car.”

I started to make my way out but another townie had just gotten up and was blocking the exit. I could see the car sitting there behind him through the window, in the snow, the party behind it. I thought I could see Melissa Hertzburg and Henry Rogers, but I wasn’t sure. I could hear Christmas music.

“This is absolute shit,” I said.

“Do you really have it?” Rupert was asking me, coming closer.

“Do I have what?” I screamed again. “Now wait, listen, this guy—”

“Does this guy have the money or not?” Rupert asked Bateman.

“Will you f**king tell him” I yelled at Bateman.

It was silent. Everybody was waiting for Sean’s answer.

“Okay, he doesn’t have it,” he admitted.

“What do you have for me?” Rupert asked him.

“I have this.” He reached into his pocket and handed Rupert something. Rupert inspected it. It was a vial. Rupert poured something onto a mirror. I assumed it was cocaine. He looked up at Sean, muttering how it better be good. The townies were now silent and interested in what was going on. But of course the stuff wasn’t good and a fight broke out. Rupert lunged across the table at Bateman. A townie grabbed at me. There was a scuffle. I was on my way out when I turned around and saw that Bateman had somehow grabbed the machete and was screaming “Back off” and jabbing it at the townies. I turned and ran out to the car, slipping on the driveway and falling hard on my ass. When I got into the car and locked the door I could see that the townies were backing off. Sean kept swinging the sword until he was outside and shut the door to the kitchen, dropped the machete and jumped into the car.

The townies were slow but they made it to their pick-up truck as the MG peeled out of the driveway. Sean raced it down the street, skidded through a stoplight and swerved down the road back towards the college. I could not believe this was happening. I never thought I would die on a Friday. Any other night but a f**king Friday. Bateman was actually smiling and asking me, “Wasn’t that fun?”

The townies led by Guest were behind us, but never too dangerously close, though once I thought I heard a gunshot. They caught up to us on College Drive and sped into the other lane trying to push the MG off the road. The MG lurched and then leapt over a snowbank and skidded gently to a stop. The pick-up sped by and then slowed down and with difficulty started to turn around. Bateman waited until they were coming toward us and suddenly reshifted, racing past the townies, and we drove the two miles to the Security gate without much incident. But when I turned around I could see the headlights of the pick-up behind us as it sat there down the road, idling. Scan smiled at the guards and waved as they lifted the gate up. He drove me back to my house. It was then that I noticed his headlights were still off. I looked at him and just said, “Jesus, Bateman, you’re an ass**le.”