The Tied Man

The driver flung his door open and ran towards us.  His face was contorted with rage.  ‘You stupid bitch!  Have you any idea how much this car cost?’ he yelled.

‘Too bloody much for that cock-substitute Jap-crap,’ Lilith hollered back and took a step towards her opponent.

Johnny Buckle came to mind once more and I knew I couldn’t let that happen here.  Not with this man.  Without the time to explain why, the only thing I could think of was to step directly in front of Lilith and place a finger over her lips. ‘Hush.’

Her right hand snapped around my wrist like a tiny vice and I could feel the strength that had allowed her to topple a man three times her size.  I thought I was next in line to get lamped, but to my amazement she edged back and let her hands drop.

I turned back to the driver of said cock-substitute. ‘She’s a guest at Albermarle Hall, Mr Dalziell,’ I explained then although it nearly choked me I added ‘Sir,’ for good measure.  ‘Lilith Bresson.  The artist?’

I had never seen such a rapid transformation on a man’s face.

‘Oh my God,’ he grinned, ‘so it is!  Lilith bloody Bresson, here in Albermarle!  It’s an absolute pleasure.’  He offered his hand as though he had just been introduced at a cocktail party.

I decided things couldn’t get much more surreal and cracked on with the introductions.  ‘Lilith, this is Alasdair Dalziell – his family owns the neighbouring farm to Blaine’s estate,’ I explained.  Lilith didn’t move, but at least it no longer looked like she was going to land him one.

‘Lady Albermarle to you isn’t it, you Paddy piece of shit?’ Dalziell’s eyes were still locked on Lilith. ‘As I said, rather unfortunate circumstances, but it is always a pleasure to meet such an attractive young lady.’

‘You drive like a total cunt,’ Lilith said.  Fortunately now that her status was established this amused Dalziell beyond measure.

‘It’s been said before,’ he laughed, and surreptitiously took his unshaken hand away.  ‘Just not quite so directly.  I’d heard you had spirit.’

‘Yeah, and I almost had a fractured skull as well,’ Lilith replied.

‘Look, she’s had quite a fall,’ I explained, trying to sound reasonable. ‘I think it might be best if you get on your way for now and we’ll head into the village so the doctor can check her over.’

I could have kissed his young Lordship’s fat white English arse for a month and it wouldn’t have done me a damn bit of difference.  He rounded on me, his ruddy county-farmer’s face flushed purple.  ‘Are you telling me what to do, Paddy?’

I knew the drill from here; found a suitable spot on the ground to stare at and said, ‘I’m sorry, no, not at all.  It was merely a suggestion.’

‘Didn’t think it was your job to ‘suggest’ anything,’ Dalziell smirked.  He’d made enough visits to Blaine to know at least part of my set-up.  It was going to take a bloody miracle for me not to get belted by him now.

‘To tell you the truth I am feeling a little faint.’ Lilith laid a hand on my arm.  Dalziell’s focus snapped back to her.

‘I’m so sorry – here I am arguing with Paddy here and ignoring my damsel in distress.  Would you like me to run you into the village?’

‘His name’s Finn.  And no, thank you.  I’ve had sufficient exposure to your driving to last a lifetime.’

‘Well if you’re quite sure.’

‘I’m very sure.  I just need to sit here and get my breath back.’

Dalziell gave her a courteous nod.  ‘In that case, I hope I get to see you around when you’re feeling a little better. Perhaps we can meet for drinks?’  He strolled back to his car, and as he reached the door he turned to look at me.  ‘And I’ll be seeing you.  Finn.’  He did that ridiculous gesture of touching his index finger at his eye, then at me.  Like I needed a visual aid.

We watched him drive off, spinning his wheels and sending up a hail of road-grit as he went.

Lilith sat down and took a blue inhaler from her pocket.  She squirted it twice into her mouth.  ‘Wanker.’

‘Can’t argue there.’  I sat down next to her.  ‘D’you really want to see the doctor?’ I asked.  ‘Because I’m telling you now, she’s shit.  Took five fucking goes to find a vein this morning.’

Lilith shook her head.  ‘No, I’ll be okay.  I’ll just dose up on codeine when I get back.’