'Til Death (Page 19)

As I began showing Carrie our home, Teren quietly excused himself to make a phone call. I knew he’d spoken with his family last night and probably several times today. Halina had even wanted to stay here the night before, but Teren didn’t have a lightproof enough area for her to hide in and she hated sleeping in the ground. He’d promised her that he’d call when Carrie showed up. As the sun was still out, I figured we had a few hours with Carrie until Halina whooshed in to swipe her mind.

When he was back a few moments later, we all headed upstairs. Visiting our bedroom last, I stood with Carrie in the doorway as she looked in on Teren’s children. A light smile was on her lips as her hand drifted to her stomach. I watched the emotion fill her eyes as she stared at the miniature version of a man she’d once been very close to.

Stepping into the room, my kids tore their eyes from the TV to look up at me, then Carrie. Lying on their bellies, their feet clicking together in the air and their heads resting in their hands, they were the image of innocence. Spike lifted his head and barked once, finally noticing a stranger in the house. Guard dog, he was not.

The kids giggled and sat up as Carrie stepped up to the bed. Teren came up and put a cool arm around my waist. Grinning widely at his children, he extended a hand to them. "Carrie, these are our children, Nika and Julian. Kids, this is a…friend of Daddy’s."

"Hi," they said at the same time. Nika blew a stray light brown lock from her face, then smiled cheesily, like she was posing for a camera. Julian scratched his dark head, trying to watch the movie and look at the new person simultaneously.

Carrie laughed at them, her eyes filling immeasurably. "Well, hello there. You are both very lucky to have such wonderful parents." She looked back at me, her eyes sad and happy at the same time. It made me want to hug her again.

Nika immediately nodded. "I know! Daddy’s magic."

I froze, knowing what Nika really meant. Carrie only thought she was being cute though. Laughing, she twisted to Teren, her finger swiping under her eye. "I’m sure he is."

Teren locked eyes with her for a moment, squeezing me tighter. Nodding and exhaling, he motioned back downstairs. "Shall I make us something to eat?" Leaning into his side, I looked up at my husband, just as my stomach stubbornly growled.

Carrie laughed as she looked over at me. "Oh, good, I’m not the only starving one." She shook her head. "I can’t even remember the last time I ate."

I laughed nervously, wondering if she’d been "allowed" to eat on her trip here. Kissing my kids, I followed her and my husband downstairs.

We sat in the little used formal dining room, the kids laughing as they sat across from each other, trying to kick the other under the table. I tried stopping them, warning them under my breath, but they were having too much fun to really listen to me, and Teren was too busy talking with Carrie to notice.

As he set plates of roasted chicken and vegetables in front of everyone, they caught up on their many years apart from each other. Teren listened raptly to her tales of working for a small bakery in a tiny town in the very upper corner of Maine. She lived a pretty secluded life, but she liked it that way and she was happy. She even had a secret crush on her boss, which delighted me. A crush on her boss probably meant that she wasn’t secretly pining for Teren.

Teren told her several details of his life, although nothing that included vampirism. He told her about awards that he’d won for his writing, camping trips we’d taken, and his parents’ ranch. I watched them breezily converse, a feeling of familiarity evident between them, although, nothing romantic. They seemed to just have a natural friendship. One that became even more apparent when their conversation shifted to their mutual childhood.

As the kids finished up and raced back upstairs to watch another movie, they sat back in their chairs and began to reminiscence about funny friends or sweet moments that they’d shared. I cleaned up everyone’s plates, Teren’s empty, since he’d been secretly feeding the dog with his dinner under the table, and left them to what would be their very last conversation. It hurt my heart a little as I cleaned up in the kitchen, listening to them.

Teren laughed as they talked about old classmates and what that person was up to now. Carrie brought him nearly to tears when she repeated a story about a field trip that had gone horribly wrong. He talked with her in a way that I routinely talked to friends that I bumped into from high school. They talked about people and experiences that they’d both shared during that eventful time in their lives. For a moment, I wasn’t hearing an ex-girlfriend, I was hearing a friend. A friend that had meant a great deal to him at one time and a friend that he was about to release…forever.

It brought tears to my eyes as I watched the sun start to set. Listening to his happiness, I nearly wished that we could call this off, that she could be allowed to remember him. I saw his point, about wanting someone to know that they knew you. It was something that we all took for granted, being alive in other people’s memories. It was an intrinsic part of being human and Teren was, as he loved to tell me, mostly human.

It was a dilemma I was going to have to face one day, if we moved with his family.

As the sun set completely, I felt Halina start to streak towards us, probably anxious to get this over with. I sighed. Teren in the dining room sighed as well, feeling her streaking to our doorstep.

Walking back into the room, I watched him lower his head and I moved over to stand behind him. He looked up at me, just as Carrie asked, "Is everything okay?"

As I placed my hand on his shoulder supportively, he reached up to clasp my fingers, squeezing me back gratefully. With a soft sigh, he said, "I’ve done something to you, Carrie, that was…unforgivable of me."

I squeezed his fingers in mine as Carrie furrowed her brow and looked between us. She shook her head, her shoulder-length hair swishing around her neck; it brought a wave of that floral scent to me and I was pretty sure that I’d forever associate the smell with her. A moment of realization hit her face and she looked down to her lap.

"Oh, Teren, that was both of our faults, not just yours."

He sighed, his shoulders slumping under my fingertips. Reaching out for her hand, kitty-corner from him, he grabbed the tips of her fingers. "I’m not talking about the pregnancy, Carrie, although, that was pretty stupid of me too."

She looked up at him, confused again. "What do you mean then?"

He looked up at me, reluctance and maybe a little bit of fear in his eyes. It was a hard thing, telling someone that you deeply cared about, all of your deepest, darkest secrets. Moving around to sit beside him, I held one of his hands in both of mine; he clenched me like a lifeline.

Shaking his head at her, he quietly said, "I’ve been a real bastard to you, letting this pain you’ve felt go on for so long." He looked down at our laced together hands. "I really am having a hard time forgiving myself for it."

Her look of confusion didn’t ease any. Tucking her hair behind her ears, she leaned forward a little bit. "What are you talking about, Teren? What could you have possibly done about my pain?"

His eyes drifted over her face, perhaps studying the features that he’d never see again after tonight. "I could have taken it. You could have lived these past fifteen years obliviously happy…and it’s my fault."

She blinked at that and sat back in her chair. "Who said I haven’t been happy?" she whispered. Her eyes flashed upstairs though, and I clearly saw the pain in them as she looked up at where I could hear my children singing along to the musical playing.

Teren’s enhanced sight saw the look as well. Exhaling in a long breath, he calmly said, "When we were younger, I couldn’t tell you something…something about me." He shook his head, biting his lip and I squeezed his hand tighter. "I was so afraid that you’d run away from me, if you ever learned the truth. You meant so much to me and I didn’t want to lose…"

He looked down, then over at me. "I learned over the years that I couldn’t hide who I was from the person I was with." He looked back at her, conviction in his eyes. "I just couldn’t spend the rest of my life living a lie." He raised his eyebrows and leaned in slightly. "Being with you taught me that," he whispered.

She shook her head, still confused, but he continued without letting her ask her questions. "Over time, I learned to open myself up to people. It was hard. It was painful. It was terrifying. But, because of what happened with us, I knew I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t know. Most couldn’t handle it, couldn’t accept me." He looked back at me, love and devotion clear in his eyes. "In fact, only Emma could."

As we gazed at each other for a second, Carrie popped up with her summation of his statement. "Are you…gay or something?"

He closed his eyes, a soft laugh escaping him. Looking back at her, he shook his head. "I wish it were that simple." The poor woman did not look any clearer on what he was talking about. I bit my lip, knowing she would soon. Very soon, as Halina was nearly at our door. Feeling her as well, Teren stumbled into his next sentence. "Before we go our separate ways, I needed you to know, I needed you to see…what I am."

He sadly shook his head as her confused face softened. "It might fill in some of the blanks for you…about why I never came looking for you when your parents pulled you, why I never attempted to contact you after all these years, why I may have, at times, seemed…distant from you when we were together."

Her shoulders relaxed as she shook her head. "Yeah…there were times…"

He nodded and I had to imagine that there had been several unexplained moments in their relationship. Knowing how secretive Teren could be with me, when I knew almost everything, I had to believe that he’d been a very closed-off person with her. She must have written it off as teenage hormones, but it was so much more than that with him.

He looked down and peeked up at her. "I want you to know that it was never you. You were warm and sweet, and taught me a lot about the person I wanted to be." He smiled softly at her. "You were just what every first love should be."

She smiled warmly, but shook her head, her brow furrowing again. "Teren…I don’t…"

Feeling him tense and Halina nearly on our doorstep, I clenched his hand tight. He squeezed me back as he kept his eyes on Carrie. "Me, all of the women in my family, my children, and recently, my wife…are all vampires."

She stared at him blankly, her face expressionless. In the silence, my kids suddenly yelled out, "Grammy Lina!" and blurred downstairs to race to the door. Carrie had turned her head upon hearing them yell and had seen the blur of their movement through the archway. She stood up and pressed herself against the wall, her face draining of color.

Teren stood as well, his face apprehensive. "Carrie?" he said softly.

She started to look back at him, but Halina had walked through the door and her eyes widened even more at the pale white, dark beauty striding through it. Halina scooped up the children and strode with them into the dining room. Her face impassive, she eyed Carrie as she held the twins in a way that no human body her size could. They sat facing outwards in her arms, nestled on her biceps like they were sitting on swings; Julian was even kicking his legs back and forth.