To Hate Adam Connor

“Tell me all of this isn’t happening because of me, Adam.”

He cupped my cheek in his hands. “This isn’t happening because of you, Lucy. If there weren’t those pictures of us together, she’d find something else to get her way. She has no ties to Aiden. He was the reason she wanted a divorce, which is why I was always planning to get sole custody. None of this is happening because of you.”

“Why do I scare you?” I wanted to get back to that because I didn’t get it. I didn’t get how I could scare him, of all people. He, however, was scaring the shit out of me at that moment, and to be honest, I was done talking about the wicked witch.

“Because I said I love you and you never said anything.” His thumb caressed my cheekbone, and he kept his eyes firmly on mine. “I wasn’t expecting to hear it back from you, at least not yet, and I’m okay with that, but you acted like I’d never said anything.”

“I didn’t mention it again because that was adrenaline talking, not you. ”

“Oh? Is that so?”

The way his eyes were moving around my face…it was so tender, so loving that a lump formed in my throat.

“You have nine beauty marks on your face. Did you know that?”

What?

“Um…no, I’ve never counted them.”

“I have. My favorite is this one.” With the tip of his fingertip he touched my skin, right below my eye, and then let his finger trail down to my jaw.

I did nothing but watch his eyes follow his finger as he stopped right at my chin and tipped my face up to his.

Holding my breath, I waited for his kiss, hoped for it, but he held it back from me. Then his eyes met mine.

“I love you, Lucy Meyer.”

He wanted so much from me…yet he wanted nothing at all. First he had pushed for the relationship and just when I was getting used to that idea, now he wanted more. It might have been nothing for some, but it was everything for me.

Closing the distance between us, he whispered, “I know you’re scared too, Lucy, and you know what…if there is one thing I’ve learned about love, it’s that it should scare you. A little or a lot, it doesn’t matter how much, but it should make you feel. And you, my beautiful, stubborn Lucy…” He brushed his lips against mine, just a quick touch, and pulled back. “You scare me—no, I promised to be honest with you: you terrify me, Lucy, and I love it. I will never take you for granted, and knowing that you won’t let me…you’re the one I want, Lucy Meyer. You’re the one I fell in love with.”

Every word sending an arrow to my heart, I just stood there, my body trembling slightly, my breath caught in my throat. I simply watched him watch me. He cupped my face gently with both of his strong hands and kissed my lips. My breath shuddered out of me in a rush. I was in so much trouble. Pulling back, he kissed my nose, my eyes, my forehead, and my lips again.

“Now you’re going to kiss me, Lucy. I know you won’t give me the words, but I need you to give me your best kiss,” he whispered, his lips moving against mine. “And then you’re going to give me a chance, the same chance you gave Jameson. I deserve it, and you deserve me.”

Oh, the asshole. He was going to get more than a kiss.

When I opened my mouth and invited him in, he didn’t hesitate before taking everything from me. It was a slow kiss, our heads moving in sync with each other, our tongues gentle. When I understood what was happening, why I was feeling like I was on the verge of crying, I held on to his arms and let him take over. He took another step into me, our bodies resting against one another.

Safe with one another.

I knew I would remember this moment years later; I knew when I would look back, when I would think of Adam, I would feel his warm, strong hands cradling my face. I knew I would remember the truth of his words ringing in my ear, whether he was there or not.

When it was over, he simply rested his forehead against mine, and we just breathed in each other’s air. I hoped it had been his best kiss. I hoped no one would ever kiss him like that again, that I would be it for him, that my lips would be it.

“Tell me I’m a good kisser, Lucy,” he murmured, his eyes closed. “Tell me I’m your best.”

A soft laugh escaped my lips. I slid my arms around his neck and held on to him just a little tighter as I stretched on my toes so I could trail my nose against his neck and get more drunk on him.

“I taught you well; of course you’re good now.”

He laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist, his steady heartbeat beating against mine.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and stood still in the safety of his arms.

“I don’t want you to be taken away from me, Adam.”

He pressed his palm against my back, holding me as tight and as close as I was holding him.

“I won’t let anyone take you away from me, Lucy. You can trust me on that.”

A teardrop slid down my eye, and I burrowed into his neck.

The next thing I knew, his hands were moving down my body, and I was swept off my feet. My face still in his neck, I let him carry me into his bedroom.

Gently laying me down on his bed, he settled on top of me, his body not even close to touching mine. His arms were braced on the bed, his face inches away from mine.

“I lose track of time when I kiss you,” I murmured, caressing his face. “You make me lose track of myself when you look into my eyes with such intensity, Adam Connor. You make me feel like I’m the only one.”

He exhaled and his eyes closed as he moved his head into my hand.

“You’re going to tell me you love me. Tell me and give me your heart, and I promise you, Lucy…I promise you I’ll take care of it.”

“You stole my heart, you jerk.”

“Not quite the right words, try again.”

I laughed softly. “I think I fell for you, Adam Connor.”

He started to say something, but I held my finger up against his lips.

“I love you,” I admitted softly. “You’re right, I love you, and it scares the shit out of me, too.”

His lips slowly stretched into a smile and my heart brightened with the beauty of it.

I haven’t mentioned what an asshole he is for quite some time, have I?

“I’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that.”

“Because it’s true. You’ll never have to protect your heart again. It’ll always be safe with me, Lucy. You’ll always be safe with me.”

I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and ignored the way my heart was fluttering in my chest as if the space wasn’t enough, as if it was ready, eager, and willing to rest in the hands of Adam Connor.

Stupid, stupid heart.

Closing my eyes, I tried to remember how to form words and just breathe. Adam waited patiently.

“Adam…when I say I’m cursed, I’m not trying to be cute. I want you to know that, no matter when or how this ends between us, I will hold your secrets.” I shook my head in amazement and stared right into his eyes. “What you did…you’re an amazing person, an amazing father, though you obviously have questionable taste in women.” His lips curved up again, and he sneaked in a kiss, getting my heart all excited again.

“Thank you, baby.”

“That last one wasn’t a compliment,” I clarified.

He got in another stolen kiss that ended up causing me to pull him down on me so I could feel his weight press into me.