When August Ends
“She’s twenty-one—twenty-two in a few months.” I laughed under my breath because I knew that didn’t make a lick of difference in her eyes.
“Oh, excuse me,” she mocked. “Well, you know what I mean.”
“Look, I might have agreed with you before I got to know her. In fact, I believed for a very long time that there was no chance for us because of her age. But people—they’re not one size fits all.”
Olivia nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wonder if you might be better off with someone closer to our age at this point in your—”
“I’m not in love with someone closer to our age. I’m in love with her. So…”
“Love?” Olivia repeated.
Shit. I was shocked that it had come out so easily, but it had.
“Yes. I didn’t plan on this. It just happened.”
I could have gone on and on, but I didn’t want to insult Olivia by admitting I hadn’t ever experienced what I felt for Heather before.
I needed to nip this conversation in the bud.
“I was a shitty husband to you,” I told her. “I still live with a lot of guilt over that. I really did think there wasn’t any hope for me. But Heather awakened something. The future seems brighter. She could kick my ass to the curb tomorrow, and I’d still be a changed man—not that I want that to happen. I want to be with her, and I want to be the type of man she deserves. I feel like I can admit this to you now, because you’ve found the person you were meant to be with. I hope we can both be happy, Liv.”
She searched my eyes. “Just because I’m happy with Kirk doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to see you in love with someone else, you know. I’ve never seen you like this—certainly not with me—and that stings a little. But I’ll have to get over that, because ultimately, Noah, I want you to be happy, too. I mean that. I hope this isn’t infatuation on her part, because you deserve the real thing.”
“Thank you.”
She looked down at the baby, still asleep in my arms. “Well, we’d better get going. I’m gonna need to feed her soon.”
I carefully handed Sam back to her mother. “Thank you for coming by.”
“I’m glad you got to meet her. I’ll call you soon.”
She’d started to walk away when I called after her. “You’re doing a great job, Liv. Sam is really lucky you’re her mom. I’m proud of you.”
Olivia turned and gave me a wobbly smile. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
After she left, I thought about what she’d said. A part of me had expected things to change when Heather went away to school. In fact, I’d been bracing for it. But after nearly eight months apart, we’d grown closer. The best part of every day was our nightly phone call. I had tried to give her space, but the more I pulled back, the more she sought me out. Physical absence had somehow made our relationship even more solid. Our conversations were deeper, more intimate. I wanted her more each day and was bursting at the thought of seeing her again. I knew it had to be soon, or I was going to lose my mind. During Christmas, I’d gone to visit my mother and brother in Minnesota. Then, during her spring break, she’d gone home to visit Alice, and I’d stayed here. She’d been begging me to come to Vermont. I could have gone to visit her but had specifically stopped myself in an effort to give her the space I’d thought she needed. But I had started to think my efforts were in vain. I missed the hell out of her. It was time.
Jesus. I’d just admitted my love for Heather to my ex-wife but never to Heather herself. I’d held that in long enough. Telling her I loved her was long overdue.
It was the middle of the day, and I was pretty sure she was in class. Still, I wondered if she’d pick up if I called. The need to get this off of my chest felt urgent.
To my disappointment, the phone just kept ringing. When her voicemail picked up, I left a message.
“Hey, baby. It’s me.” Scratching my head, I said, “I, uh, guess you’re in class. Figured that would be the case but thought I’d give it a try. Anyway, I have something important I need to say to you. So when you get home, give me a call. It can’t wait till the regular time. Hope you’re having a good day. Talk to you later.”
I reached over to the framed photo of Heather.
I’m a damn lucky man.
Feeling antsy, I decided to do some much-needed food shopping since I didn’t have any work scheduled. Bonnie was due to have her babies anytime now, and in the meantime, she was eating double. I needed to replenish my supplies.
The supermarket was pretty crowded for the middle of the day. I laughed when “Young Girl” by Gary Puckett and The Union Gap came on as I rolled down the frozen aisle. The guy in the song is warning the girl to stay away from his old ass. That was ironic as hell—especially since my father used to tease my mother with that very same song. Instead of letting the song freak me out, I decided to take it as a blessing from the universe.
The checkout line was long, and I felt a headache begin to pound. It had been lurking all day, but finally moved to the forefront.
The old man in front of me started a conversation about how vegetables give him gas. He must have thought I could relate given all of the roughage I was purchasing for the guinea pigs. Rubbing my temples, I admitted that all the greens were actually for my pets. Undeterred, he asked me some questions about that.
I tried to answer, but it became difficult to make sense of what he was saying. Finally, I just drew a blank.
A rush of dizziness washed over me, and everything went black.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
* * *
HEATHER
There was no answer when I called Noah back. His message had me curious. Had he thought better of where things were going with us? Was he having doubts? What on Earth did he need to talk to me about that couldn’t wait until our evening phone call?
When the phone rang a little while later and I saw it was him, my heart sped up a bit.
With a smile on my face, I answered. “Hey!”
My stomach dropped at the sound of a baritone voice I didn’t recognize.
“Is this Heather?”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
“This is Neil Cavallari, Noah’s father.”
Noah’s…father?
“Oh. Hi. Where’s Noah? Is everything okay?”
His voice was shaky. “I’m afraid not. Noah collapsed while out shopping today. The doctors think he has a ruptured aneurysm.”
It took a few seconds for his words to compute. “Excuse me? What?”
“They just took him into surgery. We don’t know—”
“He’s alive?”
“Yes.”
My heart started beating again.
His words were all jumbled. “They don’t know how much damage was done to his brain. We won’t know anything until he’s out of surgery. I wish I could tell you more, but there’s no news yet. I know how much you mean to him. They gave me his phone, and I found your number.”
I felt frozen. I couldn’t speak.
“Are you there?” he asked.
“Yes…”
“They expect the surgery to last about five hours. He just went in. They can’t tell me anything until it’s over.”
Five hours. I have five hours to get there.
“Will you text me the address? I need to get on the next plane.”
“Yes, of course.”
Somehow I got off the phone with him, though I wasn’t sure I even said goodbye. Ming walked in and saw the frozen look on my face.
“Are you okay?”
I silently shook my head.
“What happened?”
Barely able to get a word out, I muttered, “Noah…”
“Oh my God. What’s wrong?”
Everything came out in fragments. “He…I…need to get on a plane. I need a ticket. He’s in surgery. Aneurysm. I can’t—”
“Okay. Calm down. It’s okay. Just tell me which airport?”
I rubbed my temples. “Uh…Philadelphia.”
“I’m calling right now. Grab your stuff.”
I ran to my chest of drawers and threw clothes into a tote.
Ming rushed me downstairs where her father was waiting in the car normally used for food delivery. It smelled like crab rangoon and egg rolls.
She kept ordering him to drive faster. “Hurry!”
That was the only thing I understood because everything else was spoken in Chinese.
“When does the flight leave?” I finally managed to ask.
“An hour from now.”
I felt her hand on my back, rubbing. What would I be faced with when I got to Pennsylvania? I couldn’t accept anything less than Noah being absolutely okay. He was my strength, my rock—my entire world.
I couldn’t let my mind go to the dark side. I needed to be there. I needed to be strong for him.
After Ming’s father parked the car at the drop-off area, I expected her to say goodbye. Instead she grabbed my hand and prompted me to run with her. “Come on.”
“You don’t have to come with me. I can board myself.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not letting you go to Pennsylvania alone.”