Worth the Risk (The Game #4)(54)
Author: Emma Hart

“Then what took you so long to get here?” I tease.

“I only just realized where you were. I’ve been living at your parents for the last few days looking after your mom and running the café with the girls.”

“Looking after my mom?” my voice quivers.

“Uh… Crap. She broke down when you disappeared.”

Tears burn my eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run away.”

Kyle pulls me tight to him. “Shit, Rox. You scared the ever-loving life out of me. I’ve never, ever felt that way before and I hope I never have to again. I was so f**king scared you were gone. Really gone.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeat.

“As soon as I realized you were here I left your house like my ass was on fire. Would you believe I got up here in less than ten minutes?” He raises his eyebrows and smirks.

I grin. “Impressive. Did you have Red Bull for breakfast or something?”

“No. I just needed you.”

I curl into him, feeling every part of our bodies touching.

After everything we’re here. Heartbreak from death and heartbreak from love. And I’m sitting here, his arms around me, and wishing we didn’t have to move.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” His voice is thick with emotion, and I hug him tightly.

“I promise. Never again.”

“Good. I love you too much to feel like that again.”

“As long as you promise to never walk away like that again.”

He opens his eyes to mine. “I promise. Only you.”

“Always you.”

Our lips linger together for a long moment.

“We have to go now, don’t we?” I ask in a small voice.

“Yep.” He sighs. “I text your mom so she knows you’re okay, but she’ll want to see you. She’s so worried about you, Rox.”

I swallow. Guilt hits me hard. “I know. I’ve been so horrible to her, and Dad.”

“As much as I hate to, I have to agree with you. You’ve been pretty f**king awful.”

“You know, I can be mad at you again if you want.”

Kyle laughs and helps me stand. “Just because you’re not mad at me anymore doesn’t mean I won’t still tell you as it is. Besides, you don’t stay mad at me for long.”

I glance at him. “That can be changed, you know.”

He grabs me from behind and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “No, it can’t be. We usually end up very close after you’ve been mad at me, so you won’t let it last too long.”

Damn him for being right.

“And as much as I hate to let you go, you do have to go and talk to your mom… And the police.”

Uh-uh. I did it this time, didn’t I?

“Stay.” I stop and turn. “Please. Even if you’re just in the house.”

“You have to do this, not me.”

“I know that.” I fist the front of his shirt and rest my forehead against his chest. “But it’s gonna hurt, isn’t it? I’m gonna have to remember it all. I’m gonna have to be honest about how much I’ve been hurting. And… We’re gonna talk about the night he died.” My chest tightens. “You’re the only person I’ve spoken to about it.”

He strokes my back and takes a deep breath. “Okay, but I’m staying upstairs. This is your talk with your parents – you guys have a lot to sort out. I’m only staying because I know you’ll need me after.”

We’re both thinking about the day I broke down in the woods and told him about the night Cam died. There’s no way I could have stayed sane if it wasn’t him holding me after.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

Kyle kisses the top of my head. “Come on. Let’s take you home.”

I walk back with him, his arm wrapped around my body which is curled into him. Nothing is scaring me more than the conversation I know I’m about to have with my mom and dad. This is going to be as hard as walking away from the hospital.

Except this time I’m not numb. By the time we left the hospital, I’d gone through every emotion I could and I was exhausted. I’d cried and screamed and hit the walls. I’d screamed even louder and sobbed even harder and given everything into trying to break the wall. When we left, I had nothing left to give. I had nothing left to feel.

This time I have it all.

I have the pain and the anger. I have the sadness and the guilt. I have the grief and the regret.

This time, I have Kyle.

I can’t help but wonder how different the last few months would have been had he come back for the funeral. If he’d been here we would have had each other like we do now.

If he’d been here, I might have been going to college this year instead of next.

“Ready?” he squeezes my shoulders.

I nod and we turn the corner. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, at least.

“Roxy.” Mom runs to me as soon as Kyle opens the door, and I fall into her embrace. Dad’s arms go around us both, and they’re both crying.

It hits me now, between both my parents, how selfish I’ve been. They’ve needed me as much as I’ve needed to forget, but I didn’t think about them. All I could think about was myself, my own pain, my own guilt.

I lost my brother, but they lost their son.

That day we all lost a member of our family. We all lost our best friend, our light, our joker. We all lost our star.

“I’m sorry,” I cry into Mom’s shoulder. “I am so, so sorry.”

“You’re here now.” Dad kisses the side of my head. “Everyone is exactly where they should be.”

Chapter Thirty – Kyle

Roxy’s bedroom door opens and she walks in slowly. Her eyes are ringed in red and there’s tear stains on her cheeks. She gives me a small, sad smile that damn near breaks my heart, and I hold my arms out to her. She runs across the room and falls onto my lap, burying her face in my neck. I squeeze her as tight as I can without hurting her and kiss her neck. Her body shudders as she lets out a long breath.

“Okay?” I ask softly.

She nods. “As okay as I can be, I guess. We talked, got everything out, and there was a lot of apologizing and crying. They’ve gone to open the café now. I think we all need a bit of space.”

“Good. Do you feel better?”

She nods again but doesn’t say anything. I sigh and rest my cheek on top of her head, squeezing her a little, holding her a lot. For a long time.