A Rescued Heart(25)
Author: Natalie Replogle

“I know. But I’m fine … thanks to you.” She rubbed her hand along his good arm.

“Are you sure you’re okay?

“Yes.”

“Did he hurt you?” She wanted to hold the truth from him but he would find out anyway.

“I only have a mild concussion. It’s not a big deal. I could have gotten one by tripping over the shoes in my closet,” Ava said dryly in an effort to play it down. He didn’t need to get upset about her condition when he lay in a hospital bed after being shot because of her. She did, however, look forward to her next dose of pain medication in an hour.

He didn’t buy it. She was a lousy liar.

“Not a big deal,” he raised his voice a notch. He looked up at the ceiling. “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better. You must think less of me.”

Ava took his chin and moved his head to face her. “Hey, look at me.” She waited until he did. “I’m only alive because of you. It’s hard to protect a woman with a stubborn streak. I have no negative thoughts toward you.” She bent over and kissed his lips. “I do, however, have plenty of thoughts about how much I love you. If you haven’t noticed, Sergeant Thompson, I’m quite smitten with you.”

“I almost lost you today, Ava.”

“And I almost lost you too,” she pointed to his injured shoulder.

He grinned. “Oh, this little thing, it’s just a scratch.”

“I’m sure you’ll change your mind once the morph**e wears off.”

Ava liked how they could still tease despite the day’s events. She grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and covered his legs. A nurse entered the room to check Matt’s vitals. Ava unloaded all her questions and the nurse politely answered every one of them in great detail. Ava guessed that Jules mirrored this woman when she was on duty by the concern and care she took over each patient.

By the time the nurse left, Matt and Ava had heard about her grandkids, husband, and how much she enjoyed her job. Ava’s spirits heightened upon hearing more confirmation that Matt would recover well. Their conversation calmed her nerves and revived her energy level.

Ava sat back down on the chair she had pulled over earlier, wanting more alone time with him before the nurse came back to do her rounds. She ran her fingers over her dry and cracked lips, in need of moisture. Leaning back, she brought her feet up to rest on the end of the chair while she pulled out her chap stick, thankful that one of the officers had found her purse and brought it to the hospital. It relieved her to have her phone and wallet beside her again. A woman’s purse was her identity, a bag of endless treasures that would be worthless to outsiders, but full of wealth for the owner.

Or a great place to put your trash.

Matt eyed her impishly. “As I was waking up I overheard what you said. Baby, why didn’t you think I’d still want you?”

Ava had hoped he didn’t hear that part or at least forgot about it. “I had a bad dream before I came in here that you didn’t want me anymore and that your feelings had changed. I was just shaken up, that’s all.” She fidgeted with the blanket so she didn’t have to look at him. The day had emotionally wiped her out and she wasn’t sure if she could handle this conversation tonight. “Derek overheard me talking in my sleep. He helped me feel better about it.”

“What did he say?”

“That you will always want me and that will never change.” Her voice quivered from nerves as she wondered if he would agree with his partner’s assessment. She changed the subject so as to not put him on the spot. “You know you have a great best friend, right? He took care of me from the moment you got shot until he brought me to your door. What did you do, pay him an advance in case of an emergency?”

He smiled. “No.” He reached out for her hand and pulled her back up to the side of his bed. “You do know that his words were true? I’ll always want you.” He kissed her hand.

Their lunch date flashed across her mind as a reminder of how poorly she had acted toward him. She had a list of things that needed clearing up. “I’m really sorry about lunch today. I don’t know what was wrong with me. Forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive, sweetheart. I was offended at first, but then I put myself in your shoes. I wouldn’t have liked a guy flirting with you.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have accused me of wanting to cheat.” Regret consumed her. This man before her was anything but a cheater. He walked in honesty, strong character, and never once wavered on his feelings for her, despite her best efforts to subconsciously change his mind.

“Maybe not, but I don’t have the past that you do. Sometimes I need to remember that before I speak or lose my temper. I claim my part of our argument. Sorry I was a jerk.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

She gingerly smiled her forgiveness. “Speaking of my past, I had some time on my hands today to think, and I had a little revelation.” Ava had been waiting to get this off her chest. Whether tired or not, this needed to be said.

“Oh really? You’ve piqued my interest, please share.”

“You said you were tired of paying for another man’s mistakes and—”

He interrupted, “I’m sorry, that wasn’t right of me to say.”

Ava put her fingers on his lips to quiet him. “You were right, but I realized you were also paying for mine. Tim wasn’t the only one at fault. I chose to marry him even though on some level I knew something was wrong. He became distant and I did nothing about it. Honestly, I think I was more in love with the idea of being married than with whom I planned to spend the rest of my life with. As for the fear of being loved again, his rejection doesn’t make me worthless or undeserving. I need to find my identity in Christ, not in situations or people.”

Ava sat back down on the chair because she couldn’t focus while being that close to him. “I would have saved myself a lot of heartache had I trusted my instincts and God. In the end, it was my mistakes that have caused my insecurities now.”

“Hmmm, so what are your instincts and God telling you now?”

He was fishing for compliments and she would give them. “That you want me, and without a doubt our feelings are the same.”

“Ava, please listen to me. Whether you have another bad dream or see another girl talking with me, I’m in love with you. I’ve waited a very long time for you to come into my life. You’re it, I’m done.” He placed her hand on his chest. “This heart will never beat for anyone but you.”

His heartbeat pumped beneath her hand. She held no fear over his declaration, only excitement for the life she would someday share with him. Her heart had healed and that realization was liberating.

“And I love you, Matthew Everett.”

“Whoa, my middle name. You must mean it.”

“More than you know.”

Ava yawned, unable to hide her fatigue any longer. Their moment disappeared as Matt looked over at the clock. “No wonder you’re tired, it’s after midnight. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep.”

“I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me.” Ava grabbed the extra blanket from the end of his bed and curled up in the chair. “I’ll just sleep here.”

Matt glared at her and she glared right back. She wasn’t stepping down.

He sighed. “I can see this is a battle I won’t win.” A victorious smile spread across Ava’s lips. “So if you’re going to be stubborn and stay, then stay with me.” He pulled the covers back and patted the bed.

“Do you realize how many rules we’d be breaking?” His invitation stunned her.

He put his hand up in the air, displaying the Boy Scout’s honor. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman. I just need to hold you in my arms … well, arm.”

Ava jumped to his side right away before he had the chance to change his mind. She laid her head on his good shoulder and curled up against his body. They laid there quietly, content, until she remembered her idea.

“So is Derek single yet?”

“Why? Are you interested?” Matt laughed alone at his joke. “You spend one day with him and now you’re knocking down his door?”

“Quit,” with a playful spirit she pretended to punch his chest.

“Hey, I’m a wounded man, remember?”

“I’m sorry,” she responded dryly. “I thought it was just a scratch.” They began laughing in pure exhaustion. Ava got up on her side, resting on her elbow. “I was asking because I wanted to set him up with Jules. I think they’d make a good couple.”

“As far as I know, he’s still seeing Chelsea, but I don’t think it will last much longer. He’s not truly happy. She’s a nice girl, but just not right for him. I like your thinking, but we need to hold off. It’s not the right timing.”

“Sounds good, I’ve got more than enough to handle right now.” She kissed him and lightly touched his bandaged shoulder. “Between starting school and nursing you back to health, I’ve got a full plate.”

“I could get used to having my own personal nurse.”

Ava laid her head back down on his chest and listened to him breathe. “Matthew?”

“Yes?” he sounded as tired as she felt.

“Can we start attending church together … and only because I love you?” Ava looked forward to this next step together. They were finally combining an important part of their lives.

“Absolutely,” he kissed the top of her head, “I thought you’d never ask.

One Month Later

Ava froze in the middle of the CVS aisle. She blinked feverishly as the ghost of wedding past stood in front of her, distracted in choosing which item to purchase. She had wondered many times how she would react in a moment like this. Since the day Tim had shown up at her apartment to give his explanation for calling off their marriage, Ava had avoided any updates on his life. They hadn’t had many mutual friends, and the few they had drifted away after the disastrous wedding day. Ava didn’t blame them. It was uncomfortable for everyone.

Lucy had told her when news had filtered back that Tim and Cara had gotten married, but other than that, Ava knew nothing about them. God had taken away her feelings for Tim, yet it crossed her mind on occasion what it would feel like to run into the pair together. To stand before them alone while they held hands, or maybe even pushed a tiny stroller.

And now here he stood, right in front of her. Despite the shock, Ava was relieved to find she had no old hurt emotions. No little stabs of pain or reminders of the shame that had hovered for months after their breakup.

She was fine, but did she need to be a glutton for punishment. Did she have it in her to open this can of worms and force the past back into the present? The answer came immediately. She could do this. No longer vulnerable or a leper of rejection, she had no reason to turn tail and run, he could no longer hurt her. Debating about how to approach them and what to say, her purse clipped a bag of cough drops that landed to the floor with a thud. Her cover was blown as no preparation remained possible when Tim turned toward the noise, his eyes reaching hers. Shock twisted through his features as she approached with caution.

“Ava …” It had been two years since she had heard him speak her name. He looked like a deer caught in headlights as she drew closer.

“Hi Tim. It’s … um … good to see you.” As the words left her mouth, she couldn’t deny the truth in them. “It’s been awhile. You look different.” Tim did look older, something around his eyes maybe. He had grown out his sandy blond hair and his once smooth face was now covered by a shabby beard. His build was more filled out, his looks less boyish.

Tim rubbed his beard. “Oh yeah, just trying something new. You don’t. You look exactly the same as I remember you.” His response produced a small smile, replacing his initial look of shock. “Since I moved back, I wondered if we might eventually run into each other. And if we did, if you would turn and walk away or maybe pretend not to see me”

“Why would I do that?” she responded, but realized it would have been true if God hadn’t restored her or brought Matt into her life. “Tim, I’ve forgiven you and moved on. I don’t have bad feelings toward you, or Cara for that matter.”

A shadow flickered across Tim’s face. Like he couldn’t quite believe what she said was true. “I mean it, I really do,” she said looking him straight in the eyes. “How are you and Cara? I heard you got married and were living in Peoria. But now you’re back in Rockford?”

Tim lowered his head as if steadying himself before returning her gaze. “I’m back in Rockford. Cara still lives in Peoria.” The impact of his words hung like a heavy silence between them. As if the moment wasn’t already awkward enough.

“That’s why I thought you would walk away if we ever saw each other again. I figured you knew,” he said finally, his voice thick. “And you’d be disgusted with me. I threw away what we had to marry a woman I never should have been with. Six months ago she left me for an old boyfriend and a party life.”

There was no hiding the embarrassment Tim felt. She could physically see the guilt that weighed him down as his shoulders slumped forward. Ava began to tell him not to go on—that she didn’t need to know any of this, but it spilled out of him quicker than Ava could take in.

“Ava, when I came to your apartment that day, I made it sound like I had it all figured out. I put a lot of spiritual sounding reasons behind the choices I had made. I felt like I owed you answers, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you honestly that I was in a pretty dark place.”

Tim didn’t bother to stop for a response. He obviously intended to come clean, as if unloading a heavy bag he didn’t want to carry anymore.