Accidentally Married to…a Vampire?(Accidentally Yours #2)(68)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Pony up bitches! Auntie Cimi’s got some garage sales to hit this weekend.”

The men grumbled and threw their multicolored plastic chips to the center of the heaping pile.

“She’s cheating, dammit,” Sentin said. He tossed his watch on the table anyway and lifted his cards, “but I’m not giving up until I kick her ass.”

Cimil cackled. “Bring it vamp! I’ve got all day. Those two love birds won’t make their appearance until—”

Niccolo cleared his throat. The men and Cimil jumped from the table and stared at him.

“Guess you’re fortune telling abilities aren’t so sharp after all,” Sentin goaded.

Cimil shot him a quick glare. “Hey. I haven’t gone in for a tune up lately. Been too busy codling your ass. Really, how many Swedish massages can a vampire need in one day?”

Sentin smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “It’s a fair trade since you keep making me sleep with you.”

Niccolo stocked toward Cimil. Helena was certain he was going to throttle her. “What the hell happened Cimil? What have you done to me?” he snarled.

She pointed to herself. “Me? I delivered! That’s what I did. You are free from the queen, you remain immortal, Helena is also immortal and yours for eternity.” She threw up her hands. “Touch down, baby!” She did a quick little disco dance that only seemed to enrage Niccolo further.

“And what exactly am I if Reyna is dead?” he asked. “What did you do to me and my men?” Niccolo turned and looked directly at Viktor. “And Helena.”

The thought had not occurred to Helena, but he was right. If Reyna was dead, then how come they were all alive?

Cimil smiled coyly and exchanged glances with Viktor sitting at her side. “This hunky bunch,” she pointed to the ten men around the table, “are still vamps. Their maker was not la señorita Reyna.”

“Of course she was. We all remember her turning us,” Niccolo argued.

Cimil held up her index finger. “Oh contraire mon frere! Reyna may have drained these scrumptious bounties of masculinity, but her partner in crime, el Grrran Vampirrro Roberrrto Xavier II—let’s call him Bob, Bob The Ancient One—actually donated the not-so-fresh squeezed juice for her army.”

Cimil buffed her nails on her t-shirt. “No one ever remembers that part, ya know.” She chuckled. “Bob is like the ultimate vampire-baby-daddy! Oh, wait. No. He’s a dead beat dad!” She howled with laughter. “Get it?” She turned to Sentin who just looked…annoyed. “Get it? I said ‘dead beat dad.’ Because he just goes around, making vamps, never sends money or birthday cards…” She noted no one was laughing. “And you are all…dead—okay, never mind. Point is, except for Niccolo, her second in command, none of you could be from her bloodline. You know why, right?”

Everyone exchanged glances, but did not respond.

“Oh, come on! It’s a vampire law older than the Pact—the ruler cannot make the army. Too risky. I mean…what if the ruler dies? Can’t lose your warriors. Didn’t you know that?” She looked around the table. Still no response.

Cimil clapped loudly. “Come on people! Wake up! Get those hamster wheels moving! You mean to tell me no one ever noticed they don’t have Reyna’s gifts? Reyna’s peeps—may they rest in peace—could sift long distance. Bob’s peeps come with built-in stealth—which is why they’re fantastic warriors. And then there is the father of the Obscuros…” Cimil’s eyes went dark and her face blank.

“Cimil?” Helena snapped her fingers.

Cimil lit back up. “Wow! Now that was wicked hot.” She fanned herself with her hand. “So, where was I?”

Helena jumped right in. “You were going to tell us which Ancient One is making the Obscuros.”

Cimil frowned. “Was not! Besides, it is forbidden to speak his name.” She crouched under the table and then popped back up. “I was going to tell our ex-fanged friend, Niccolo, that he’s now an ex-Demilord. Or, as we like to call them, a demigod.” She clapped.

Niccolo growled. “You turned me into a Demilord?”

Cimil replied, “Yippy?”

Helena’s mind did several somersaults. She was transported back to the moment she saw Niccolo in the tomb. Her first thought was that he looked like a god, not a vampire. At the time, he was actually both. She also remembered how Andrus’ vibe reminded her of Niccolo’s.

“But, how? When?” Niccolo asked.

Cimil winked. “Oh, come on. I saw your future. I knew you would kill Reyna—the gods thank you for that, by they way. What a show! We watched every minute—popcorn, Funyuns, pineapple mojitos…the works! We’ve been waiting eons for that horrible monster to go down. None of us were allowed to touch her, though.” Cimil pointed up and whispered, “Consequences.”

“You must be joking. Since when have you cared about consequences?” Viktor said under his breath.

Cimil perched one hand on her hip. “Reyna was His creation—she was an Ancient One. We aren’t allowed to touch any of them. Now, vampire on vampire action, well, that’s a whole other enchilada. I think it’s also a kinky website—but don’t quote me.”

So Cimil had lied. Again. The gods hadn’t spared Reyna because they thought her death would exterminate the good vampires needed to win the Great War; they were forbidden to kill an Ancient One.

“You used me to do your dirty work. Fucking gods,” Niccolo growled.

Cimil sucked in an impatient breath. “Well, no duh! I also just plain used you. Wink. Wink. How could I not? Looking at your splendid nakedness standing in the jungle only inches from my sizzling-goddess body.…ummm.” She licked her lips. “That kiss, I can still taste you on my lips, my little ex-vampire.”

Helena gasped. “Niccolo! Please. Tell me you didn’t!”

“Dammit, no! Never. I gave her my clothes before she put me under that sleeping spell…” He frowned and then glared at Cimil. “You didn’t…with me…I mean, while I was asleep, did you?”

Cimil winked. “That’s my dirty little secret, and I don’t kiss and tell…without a royalty deal.”

Niccolo looked like he wanted to wretch. Helena’s fangs popped out of her mouth.

The men around the table all stood slowly, seething and glaring at Cimil.