Accidentally…Over? (Accidentally Yours #5)(51)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

“Of course we can hump like strange little animals”—Roberto appeared next to Máax—“if that is your wish, my little apocalyptic lollipop. But you do not mean the part about giving up. You love saving the world from the brink of extinction. It is your favorite pastime aside from garage sale hunting.”

“Yah. Not so much. Gettin’ old. In fact, I’m officially retiring as of this moment.” She sat down on her cot and began typing into her phone. “Look. See! I tweeted it, and that makes it official!” She held up her phone. “Now for the party announcement.”

“You’re not leaving that cell, Cimil. Because we are not giving up,” Máax said sternly. “Not on this world. Not on Ashli. And there certainly won’t be any parties.”

Cimil tilted her head, raised her cell phone, and tapped the screen. “Not according to the almighty tweet. The party’s on, baby. On!”

“Over my dead, invisible body.”

“All those in favor of giving up on this futile effort to stop the apocalypse and enjoy the time we have left, raise their hands!” she screamed.

“I don’t give a shit about your voting.” Máax looked around the prison. Everyone had their hands up, exceptions being those with mates. “No. Uh-uh. No one leaves here until we figure out a solution.” Máax was losing his patience.

“Let us out! Let us out! Let us out!” The chant started with Cimil but quickly spread to Máax’s other brethren. The entire underground prison shook beneath his feet as a hurricane began to rage inside of his sister Ixtab’s cell (she involuntarily created bad weather when upset). Her mate, Antonio, pressed himself into the corner of the cell, attempting to calm her down to no avail. The rest of the deities screamed or pounded away on the thick glass. Meanwhile, fifty or so vampires and Uchben scrambled, preparing for some sort of offensive.

“Tell them to back down, Cimil! This instant! Or no more Minky visits!” Roberto roared.

“You wouldn’t dare!” she yelled back. “ ’Cause I’ll take away your Cimi-treats! Forever!” Cimil turned, bent over, and began shaking her rear. “No more for you, Roberto!”

“Cimil. Stop this instant!” Máax knocked loudly on the glass.

“Ain’t gonna happen!” Cimil popped up and began clapping rhythmically. “Party. Party. Party.”

Unbelievable.

Máax glanced over at Niccolo and the other soldiers who were preparing to detonate smoke bombs. He assumed those were what they’d used to knock out the gods during their summit meeting. Quite effective, yes, but putting his brethren to sleep would solve nothing. “Ain’t gonna happen. Party, party, party!” The chanting continued.

Máax took a deep breath, attempting to vanquish his fury and find a rational solution, but there was no getting around it. Not this time.

“Enough! I hope you’re all planning to live like hunted animals once you get out.” Máax’s livid voice echoed off the cement walls of the cavernous structure. “Because I promise, I’ll spare no one on Team Cimil from my wrath. No one!” He may not have his divine powers, but he still had strength. And he was invisible. It completely freaked their shit out.

From the thirteen holding cells, his brothers and sisters stared with wide turquoise eyes. It was the first time—well, ever really—that he’d seen them quiet.

Yeah. That’s what I thought. “I don’t care how many times I have to say this, but let’s get one thing straight: this f**king world ain’t over until I f**king say it’s over.”

“Hey! You stole my ain’t. That’s my word of the day!” Cimil whined.

“Shut up!” Máax said.

Cimil crossed her arms. “You can scream all you like, but I know what I saw, Máax. I see us fighting. I see the end. It’s completely pointless to try to stop it now. Game over! Party on!”

“And exactly who did you see fighting?” he seethed.

“Well”—Cimil scratched the corner of her mouth—“the vision merely showed me bits and pieces—kind of like ‘Chat Stew.’ Joel is my backup mate BTW should Roberto ever perish. So meaty.”

Roberto growled.

“What pieces did you see, Cimil?” Máax questioned impatiently.

“Well.” She tapped her cheek. “I see the vampires fighting the Uchben, and I see the gods with mates fighting the gods without.”

Oh, vomica no. “We wouldn’t all happen to be inside a prison, would we?”

Cimil gasped and her eyes lit up, but she didn’t reply.

“Cimiiiil?” Roberto warned.

Her mouth crinkled to one side. “Maybe?”

“Gods dammit, Cimil!” Máax screamed. “You mean to tell us that this entire time, your vision showed you this exact scenario playing out? This very scenario you’ve created? Did you ever stop to think that you were driving the apocalypse, Oh Bringer of the Apocalypse? Did you?”

She shrugged. “Oopsies?”

Máax hung his head. “We should’ve known better than to listen to you. Roberto, set them all free.”

Roberto looked crushed. “Oh, my love guppy of destruction, is this true? And I helped you?”

Máax glanced at the large, ancient vampire and frankly felt a little bad for him. Women were so damned complicated; he felt his pain. “Roberto, she’s the Goddess of the Underworld, the Bringer of the Apocalypse. Even when she wants to do the right thing, she cannot.”

“Let them free,” Roberto commanded his men in a melancholy tone.

The men quickly unlocked the cells and released the gods and four mates, Emma, Penelope, Maggie, and Antonio, who’d been holed up with their significant others.

Everyone gathered in the center of the cellblock, exchanging glances.

Cimil looked from side to side. “Dammit! This doesn’t make any sense! You’re all free, and there’s no change. We’re still going to die!”

Everyone threw up their hands and grumbled miserable thoughts.

“How do you know that?” Not like they could trust her visions anyway.

She murmured, “The dead don’t lie. Except on leap day. That’s not today. I checked.”

For once, Máax saw the plain truth in Cimil’s eyes, and she was just as heartbroken as everyone else. And though no one else caught it, Máax noticed Cimil rubbing her hand gingerly over her lower stomach.