Ashes (Page 63)

Over him.

And who could blame her? Certainly not him. But he hadn’t been ready to lose her just yet, he had wanted, needed more time with her. More time might have made it easier to release her. But even as he thought it, he knew he lied. It never would have been easy to release her, and more time together would have made it even worse. She meant far too much to him for him ever to be able to release her easily.

If he could have released her at all.

He tried to shut the thought down. He tried to blame it on the demon inside him, but he knew that the man was thinking the same thing. Neither man nor beast could have let her go without a fight. He still wasn’t sure that he could.

When all of this was over, he knew that he would have to get as far away from her as possible if he was going to avoid changing her by force. Something he knew she would never forgive him for, but he wasn’t so certain that he even cared about that anymore. Not if it meant being able to keep her with him forever.

Shifting uncomfortably, Devon’s hands tightened on the wheel as sorrow swelled within him. He had to get his mind off of his thoughts; he would go crazy if he didn’t. He may very well snap if he continued to sit here and obsess over his misery. He could still take her, he could make her stay with him, and the monster inside of him was very tempted by the notion. The man knew that it would be the worst thing he could ever do to her. She would hate him, she would never forgive him. He would lose her forever.

You could keep control of her mind, a little voice inside him whispered. Keep her as yours, make her love you again.

Devon shuddered, excited and disgusted by the thought. Yes, he could do that, but it wouldn’t be his Cassie, and though he could make her love him again it would never be the same. It would never be the love that she had so easily and trustingly given to him before. It would be a forced love and it would be fake. He would rather live without her than force that upon her.

A Toyota Camry rolled slowly by. Devon’s breath froze as Luther swung into his driveway, parking the car. Devon’s eyes narrowed as he searched the shadowed interior, relieved to discover that Melissa was not present. Luther sat in the car for a few moments, his hands gripped tight to the wheel, his head bowed in grief. Devon wanted to wait for him to emerge, but he was restless, and he had waited long enough.

Thrusting the door open, Devon made his way swiftly across the street at an easy, loping run. Luther’s head shot up in surprise, his eyes widened when Devon tapped on the driver’s side window. Quickly rolling down the window he stared at Devon through bloodshot, slightly swollen eyes. The bright grey of them was highlighted by the glasses perched precariously on the tip of his nose. It was apparent that he had been crying, but his eyes were dry now.

“Devon,” he said softly.

“I need to talk to you.”

Luther sighed heavily, dropping his head slightly. “I can’t change her mind Devon, I wish I could, but I can’t. God how I wish I could,” he muttered, his gaze drifting to his closed garage doors. From what Cassie had told him that was often where they held their training practices. The garage was full of a wide array of exercise equipment, and weapons.

Devon swallowed heavily, his muscles constricting briefly in his chest. “I’m not here for that. Changing her mind won’t happen.” Devon didn’t add that he truly wanted to believe that it was for the best anyway, not when his soul felt like it was being crushed.

It took a moment for his words to sink in; Luther’s gaze came slowly back to him, his eyebrows drawn questioningly together. “I don’t understand. Why are you here then?”

“There are some things that have been bothering me, about Cassie. Even before all this happened. I would like to discuss them with you.”

Luther’s eyes darkened, worry creased his brow. Devon felt momentarily guilty about adding more to the man’s troubles, but he was the only one that might have answers for him. “Um, yes, yes of course.”

Devon stepped back as Luther thrust his door open, dropping his keys. Devon bent swiftly, instinctively grabbing hold of them before they hit the ground. Luther’s eyes widened, his mouth parted slightly as he met Devon’s gaze. Fear briefly flashed through his eyes. Though Devon was slightly wounded by the fear, he understood it. He was frightening, and without Cassie he was highly unstable, and Luther knew that. Luther also had no way of knowing why Devon had arrived on his doorstep. Devon slowly handed the keys back, managing a small, reassuring smile in an attempt to ease the man’s fear.

“Thanks,” Luther murmured.

He slid from the car, moving swiftly down the brick walkway. Balancing the screen door open, Luther unlocked the door and thrust it open. “I hope you don’t mind if I pack a few things while we talk. I think it best if Melissa and I stay with Cassie for a bit.”

He said all of this as he disappeared inside, flicking on light switches as he moved swiftly down the hall. Devon stopped at the doorway, unable to go further as Luther disappeared around the corner, still talking. Leaning against the door jam, he wondered just how long it would take the distracted man to realize that he was not behind him.

Not that long as Luther’s head reappeared in the hallway, a questioning look on his features. “I can’t come in unless I’m invited,” Devon reminded him softly.

Luther looked completely flustered as he hurried back down the hall. “Oh of course, where is my head? Come in, come in.”

Devon stepped easily through the doorway as Luther went in the opposite direction he had gone in before. Devon shook his head, slightly amused by the scatterbrained way Luther darted about. He followed Luther down another hall as he threw on more lights before stepping into a large study that was stacked floor to ceiling with books. At least twenty bookcases lined the walls, but even they were not enough to hold the vast quantity of books. The excess books had spilled onto the floor, parts of the couch, and the large desk in the middle of the room. Devon could not even begin to guess at the number of books that filled the room.

Most appeared to be rather old in age, their bindings faded and their pages yellowed. They had a musty scent that was neither pleasant, nor unpleasant, but simply hung heavily in the air. Other than the light on the desk, and one overhead, no other light spilled into the room. That was largely due to the thick drapes drawn over the two windows behind the desk. Drapes that probably stayed closed at all times in order to keep the books protected from the light of the sun.

Seeing the room, Devon knew that he had come to the right place. If Luther didn’t know what was happening, then surely one of these books could explain it. “I just need to grab a couple of volumes.” Luther was searching the shelves as he spoke, his finger running swiftly over the bindings. “What’s on your mind?”