Bang Bang(19)
Author: Rachel Van Dyken

“Chicago changes nothing,” I said.

She smiled sadly. “That’s where you’re wrong, Ax.” Sighing, she lowered her head and softly touched her cheek to mine. “It changes everything.”

I kissed her — hard. Maybe a bit too violently, a bit too aggressively. She bit down on my lip and I lost all sense of awareness as my body gave in to what it had been craving ever since she turned sixteen — ever since I became aware of her as a woman.

She could offer me only crumbs for the rest of my existence and it would feel like a meal.

Her mouth was hot, her tongue fought mine, fought for dominance. I jerked her against my body, wishing I could feel her around me — truly feel her. Not have so many damn clothes working against me.

She broke away from my kiss.

My lips traveled down her neck.

Her body arched when my tongue caressed her bare shoulder.

“Stop, Ax.”

“No.”

“Ax.”

I stopped, my body shuddering in response. Closing my eyes tightly, I pulled back. “We have a long drive ahead of us.”

“Yeah.” She kissed my forehead. “We do.”

She stopped me.

The only reason she would stop me was because she wasn’t planning on giving me what I was only too willing to give — my all.

I helped her into her seat and pulled the car out of park, my voice was hoarse. “I’m not stupid.”

“What?”

“That wasn’t a kiss of barely restrained passion, of longing, of desire…”

“No?” Her voice was weak. “Then what was it?”

“Goodbye.” My body trembled again. “You were saying goodbye.”

Her breath hitched.

“I just wish I knew why.”

“No.” She leaned against the window. “You really don’t.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Amy

I DIDN’T REMEMBER him being so perceptive. I wasn’t stupid. And I really didn’t take him for being stupid either. I knew, to an extant, how things worked. He would deliver me to the boss, thinking everything would be okay.

And I would die.

No loose ends.

They didn’t do loose ends.

Ax was only doing his job — and in the end I couldn’t blame him for wanting to save me. He always did have a hero complex. But he didn’t realize by bringing me to the very people I was running from, he’d be dooming me in the process. I had no idea what they wanted with me.

Correction… I had no idea if what I thought they wanted was what they actually wanted.

And if I was right — there was no helping me. So why get more attached? Why allow myself the fairy tale of Ax… when in another twenty-four hours the man I loved could very well be the man to pull the trigger? It would hurt less if there were only two kisses — at least that’s what I told myself.

Anyone capable of killing his own cousin would kill me. He wouldn’t want to. He would be tortured, maybe try to turn the gun on himself, and then I would have to be brave. I would have to follow through. Because I couldn’t let him keep sacrificing for me to live. My life wasn’t worth enough — his was.

“Ames…” Ax’s voice was low, gravelly… so many memories were attached to that voice. Memories that had my body aching. I wanted his hands on me again. I wanted his mouth everywhere.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing bad is going to happen. You know that, right?”

What delusional world did he live in? The mafia showed no mercy.

“Sure.”

“Ames.”

“Just drive.” I forced a smile. “How much longer do we have anyway?”

He laughed. “Uh, try around eight hours and that means we get in around two in the morning.”

“Fantastic,” I grumbled.

“Hey, at least you don’t have to sit next to someone on the plane while they pull their shoes off.”

“People do that on planes?”

“Not the ones I go in… then again taking a private jet down to get you would have been a little… extravagant.”

“You think?”

His grin was toxic, so beautiful… my chest ached as I reached for his hand. He held it tight, no hesitation.

Then again, he wasn’t a man of hesitation.

If he was… he’d be dead.

Eight hours. I had eight hours to hold his hand, to remember his touch, to memorize the lines of his face.

My life used to be defined by the sound of gunshots… and now? It was defined by sand sifting through the hourglass. I was powerless to stop it as it fell through my fingers.

But hey, at least I knew I had time left. Time to be with him. Time to be happy. For the first time in five years I was happy.

And all he was doing was squeezing my hand.

We talked for hours about nothing important. He asked if I still liked Chinese, I asked if he still hated it. We laughed. I didn’t cry once. And when my eyes were too heavy to stay open anymore, he kissed my hand and told me to sleep.

I didn’t want to sleep.

It was such a waste of the time I had left with him. So I tried to stay awake, but then he started rubbing my arm in slow circles, making me drunk with his touch. Finally, I succumbed to sleep, my head on his shoulder. My breathing matching his.

Life in that moment was perfect.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Axton

IT BOTHERED ME that she was shutting me out. I knew in theory it was because she was afraid. But she had nothing to be afraid of. Did she think so little of me? That I would bring her into the firefight and then just back off if things went to hell?

I pulled up to the large gate and grimaced. I hated our house — our prison. It was huge, mansion huge, with three floors, over thirty bedrooms. Ridiculous, who needed that many bedrooms? Me and Sergio? Not likely.

Then again we did have two other people living with us. The Nicolasi boss, don’t even get me started on that end of the story, and Campisi’s sister, though I didn’t find out about that fun little piece of information until it was too late.

The woman had just moved herself in.

As if there weren’t three guys already living there, trying to keep our shit together.

I hadn’t even had the great pleasure of staying one night in that monstrosity thanks to my assignment. I wasn’t looking forward to the experience.

The gate buzzed open. I drove through and pulled around the front.

Sergio was leaning against the wall.

I wondered in that moment, if it was possible to heal the chasm between us. This one girl had defined our relationship. She was what had forced us both into hiding… and once again pulled us both out of it.