Beautiful Disaster

It’s still somewhat weird, but without a doubt more relaxing, to just get a nod and my credit card back from her.

"If you change your mind, we have the scented lubes on sale until after the weekend."

"I’ll remember that. Thanks," I reply, then grab the last package and carry it to my car, barely managing to close the rear hatch after I add my purchases. When I go back into the shop I see that Beth is finally done talking to the woman she has been holed up with in a corner of the café area for the last half hour. I wait until she has left the shop before I saunter over to my former mentor, hugging her before I take the seat opposite her.

"I take it everything is okay – you spent an extra twenty minutes hanging around here just to talk to me, but you still look relaxed and at ease."

"And by that do you actually mean I look like shit, just as I always do when I’m coming home after an endless shift in hell?"

Her wide grin is answer enough, and I happily accept the extra-strong espresso she hands me. Beth keeps watching me while I drain half of it way too quickly, letting the heat and sugar chase away the grogginess that threatens to overwhelm me.

"You look happy. Even if you look like crap, it’s still a happy kind of crap."

I snort, then put down the cup.

"Probably because I am happy. Nothing to complain about."

"Nothing? Seriously? That sounds so boring."

Her jibe makes me laugh.

"Well, if you ask me that way, of course there are some issues. Jazz has been hounding me because I keep forgetting to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher and tend to forget my things in the dryer. Bella insists that my snoring is driving her crazy, we always run out of milk and no one ever admits to being the one who opened the last bottle. Jazz gets bitchy at times and Bella says we act too immature for our own good. I could go on like that for days, but in the end none of that matters. Things are great."

Beth smiles and inclines her head, although I get the feeling that the milk issue in particular isn’t news to her.

"Who would have thought a year ago that things would turn out this way?"

Although her words sound cordial enough, they still make me think, and I can’t shake off the feeling that she’s fishing for information. Holding her gaze without blinking I finally shrug, taking a sip from my coffee.

"Let’s just say that on some level I always hoped it would boil down to this.

Even if I couldn’t admit to myself that I wanted Jazz to be more than just my roommate back then."

"I’m sure you weren’t the only one not wanting to go down that road at the time," she replies, her words and tone unfamiliarly gentle for her. I raise my eyebrows, silently urging her to elaborate, but she leaves it at a bland smile. Getting stonewalled like that by her of all people is a strange and not entirely comfortable feeling, but I guess I really can’t call dibs on her as my sounding board anymore when I tell the other people in my life to go talk to her if they need someone’s honest and unprejudiced opinion.

"I take it that everything turned out fine after your last visit here?"

Mentioning our scene with Bella and the others makes me grin again, and I incline my head.

"As Bella very likely already told you, no problems at all, besides Jazz being a little grumpy that we keep underestimating him."

"Yeah, I know. Eventually they grow up and you have to accept that they’re not children anymore!"

"Now that’s a really disturbing idea."

Beth joins in my laughter.

"And where do you see yourself five years from now?"

Snorting, I narrow my eyes at her.

"Why do I get the feeling this is turning into a job interview now?"

She shrugs, noncommittally.

"Sorry. I watched too many bad TV shows last week on my own. I’m too lazy to disguise my nosiness any other way right now."

"Fair enough," I grunt, then think about the question for a while. "I really don’t know. Probably right where I am now, sipping coffee, answering seemingly harmless questions."

"You know I didn’t mean it that literally."

"Actually, with you? No. But my answer stays the same. I don’t think anything will change that much by then, if we’re lucky."

Now she’s the one waiting for me to go on, so I do.

"I don’t think either of us will get tired of the other two and leave the fold.

Living together might not be easy, but by now we’ve managed to find our places in our very own little ecosystem, falling back into old patterns or establishing new ones. I also think that with the way things went downhill so fast before, we’re all loathe to do anything that might seriously unbalance us without talking about it first. And we always manage to make good decisions together. Bella is still giving me that weird look whenever I mention children so I doubt we’ll hear the pitter-patter of little feet running through the house any time before we hit thirty. And considering how unlikely it is that same-sex marriage will be legal everywhere in the country in the next years, I doubt they’ll pass a bill allowing us to legalize our relationship as it is."

Beth inclines her head ruefully, her smile wry.

"Yeah, I’ve come to terms with officially dying an old spinster as far as the law is concerned, but that’s no reason to give up hope or stop fighting. But speaking of bringing more quirky, evil bastards into this world, have you still been weirding Jazz out by whining that none of your eventual spawn will have his golden birdie locks?"

I almost choke on my coffee, then push the cup away from me before I can accidentally knock it over.

"Bella really told you that?"

Beth’s grin has a definite feline quality to it now.

"Of course she did – holding her sides, tears in her eyes, while managing to look horribly grossed out at the same time."

"Ah, I know. I can be such an ass sometimes, but I can’t help it – I love to try and squick them out from time to time. And there’s really not much else I can say that will make them both stare at me with that look of utter, horrified disgust. I mean, I know with Jazz being sterile he can’t have any kids in the first place, but I doubt that they’d think about having children together even if they were the last two people on Earth. Guess it serves me right that he’s already threatened to teach our future offspring every stupid thing he can think of?"

"Naturally, but considering your work schedule, he’ll likely also be the one teaching them every useful thing he can think of, too. You should be glad about that. Although PTA meetings are bound to be a blast."

As always, the knowledge that my career will cut deeply into family time saddens me, but she’s right. Just as I’m relieved now that Bella has someone to be around when I’m gone for days at a time – even if that still bothers me, and will likely only get worse if we have kids – I know that our family, as it is, will be a warm and nurturing environment for anyone to grow up and live in.

The last part of her remark turns my smile into a grin again, and I snort.

"I already pity the unlucky bitch or bastard who calls Bella’s righteous wrath down upon them. When she was out with Rose and her baby last week and someone looked at them in what she thought was a condescending way, she got right in their face. I don’t want to think about how much worse it will be when it’s her own brood that’s under scrutiny. She really doesn’t suffer fools gladly anymore."

"Did she ever? I still remember a time when you didn’t have the balls to confess your undying love to her because you thought she’d laugh at such a mushy sentiment, particularly when admitted after the mutual destruction of a bottle of tequila."