Devotion (Club Destiny #5)(29)
Author: Nicole Edwards

He’d been working on this side of himself, the part of him that feared losing everything he had and moments like this brought out the worst in him. He didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know even what to think and with Cole not talking, he knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

“Are there issues between us?” Cole finally asked, and Luke simply stared at him.

Was that a trick question?

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Sierra mentioned it. She said she thought something was coming between us.”

It was Luke’s turn to thrust his hand through his hair as he turned his back on Cole. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” He had an idea, but he didn’t want to bring it up at the moment. This wasn’t the time, and it damn sure wasn’t the place to have this conversation.

It just so happened that he and Sierra had been talking the other night about the baby and Luke might’ve said a few things he shouldn’t have. It couldn’t be helped. He was worried. Confused even. He still didn’t understand the dynamic of their relationship, and sometimes he couldn’t even picture how their relationship would work once the baby was born. How were people going to react? Were they going to wonder how two men could be fathers to one child? What about Sierra? Would people look at her funny? Would they treat her differently because of the situation they were in?

It wasn’t like Luke had any experience in this and although they’d made a commitment to one another, it still felt shaky at times. Like they were hovering on the edge of a cliff, and one wrong move would send them crashing to the rocky edges below. The last thing he wanted was to be impaled with a jagged edge piercing his heart.

“So you want me to talk, but the second I ask you a question, you shut me out as well?” Cole blasted him, his voice edged with anger and frustration, the same mix that was welling up inside of Luke at a rapid rate.

This was a strange conversation and one that Luke honestly wasn’t prepared for. He was seeing an entirely different side of Cole from the laid back man he was familiar with. Something was obviously bothering him, and he was lashing out, but Luke couldn’t seem to control his own emotional reaction.

“It’s a two way street here, Cole. You brush off my question, acting like it’s impossible that I actually do care whether something is bothering you. But you don’t answer me. Is it fair that you ask me to pour my fucking heart out, yet don’t think I deserve to hear it once in a while?” Luke was fast approaching destructive.

“Hear it? You’re telling me I don’t tell you that I love you enough? Is that what you need to hear? You need me to announce it to the world, Luke? I fucking love you. I love you with everything that I am, and if I recall correctly, I tell you repeatedly. Can you even remember the last time you told me that you loved me?” Cole’s voice was loud, the deep rumble reverberating off of the freshly painted walls.

Cole’s question shocked Luke, and as he took deep breaths, turning away from him again, trying his best to rein in his temper before it got too far out of hand, he tried to remember the last time he had told Cole that he loved him.

Fuck.

“That’s right. It’s going to take you a while. So, I’ll leave you to think about it.” When he turned to look at Cole, Luke’s heart ceased its steady beat for a moment or two. As he stood there, gearing up to say something, he was met with Cole’s back as the other man walked right out the door.

This was not how he wanted his fucking night to go.

Damn it.

Chapter Nine

Luke should’ve gone home right after his blowup with Cole. He knew that. He didn’t though.

Instead of doing what was necessary to right the wrongs, Luke had sat his ass in his office, staring at the walls and wondering just what the hell was going on. Why was this so damn hard? Were they making it harder on themselves? The only person who seemed to be grounded in the relationship was Sierra. Even with so much going on, she seemed to be the only one thinking rationally.

It wasn’t like he could fault Cole for expressing himself because he’d obviously managed to keep it all in, the same way Luke was managing his own feelings these days.

During Luke’s conversation with Sierra the week before, he’d pelted her with his insecurity. He tossed out question after question on how they were going to handle this relationship once the baby was born. To his surprise, she had simply looked up at him with those crystal blue eyes and smiled. She told him that she had absolutely no doubts. Their love was stronger than the three of them, and if they relied on it, they’d get through anything.