Devotion (Club Destiny #5)(63)
Author: Nicole Edwards

Sierra forced him to release her, obviously wanting to look him in the eye.

For the last week, Cole thought nonstop about what he could’ve done differently, and he wasn’t sure he could’ve done anything, aside from not running away when he should’ve stayed and fought for what he wanted. The selfish part of him told him that he needed for Luke to come after him the way that he did, needed to know that what he felt for him wasn’t one sided. That was the difference between Luke and Sierra, she might be busy, she might be just as distracted as Luke, but he didn’t have any doubts as to how she felt about him. Why that was, he still didn’t understand.

“You aren’t the only one who did some thinking while you were gone.”

Cole watched as Sierra fidgeted with the two rings on her left hand, watching as she turned them repeatedly over and over on her finger, as though she were searching for the right words to say. He didn’t say a word, unsure where she was going and scared he was about to find out.

“A lot has happened between the three of us in the last year. We not only found one another, but we fell in love, moved in together and most importantly decided to have a baby together. That’s a lot for such a short period of time.”

Cole wasn’t sure he agreed. At his age, he was ready to settle down, had been for a while, but hadn’t found what he was looking for until Sierra and Luke. Now that he had the family he never thought possible, he wasn’t willing to let anything come between them. Not even his own insecurities. At least not anymore.

“I’ve questioned our circumstances, just like I know you and Luke have. The fact that we can’t get married… and I’m not talking about a piece of paper that the state blesses us with. That’s not what marriage is to me.”

“Who says we can’t?” Cole asked suddenly. They had a reception to announce to their family and friends the status of their relationship more so because Luke wanted to shout it from the rooftops when he finally accepted what was in his heart for so long. “It won’t be legal, but there isn’t anything to say that we can’t have a ceremony.”

A small smile tipped Sierra’s lips and her eyes sparkled. “You’d do that for me?”

“Baby, I’d do anything for you.” Cole cupped her face with his hands, loving how soft her skin was, how big his hands were in comparison to her. “I want you to know that. To trust me. To know that no matter what, the most important things in the world to me are you, Hannah and Luke.”

“I do trust you, but that goes both ways,” Sierra whispered, sounding as though she were hesitant to call him on his insecurities.

“I know that.” Cole glanced past her, not seeing anything in the distance aside from his own thoughtful reflection of the things he’d been dealing with over the last few days. He knew where she was going with this, and he agreed.

“Cole, we’ve had so much change in our lives over the last year. Always something more to do, something else to worry about tomorrow. Life’s going to be that way. We’re going to be busy. We’re blessed to have what we have. Family. Friends. The club. Each other. It’s not going to be a smooth road, but we need to talk it out. If you need more attention, which I think all three of us feel that we do, ask for it.”

Cole knew that was easier said than done. He’d had this same conversation with himself on more than one occasion. He’d put the blame on Sierra and Luke because they were so involved with their jobs while Cole was disgruntled with his. That wasn’t their fault. He hadn’t even shared what he and Alex had talked about.

The tips of Sierra’s soft fingers touched his chin, turning his face gently to look into her eyes. “I don’t want to hear about what’s happening with you from my best friend.”

Cole’s brow furrowed as he tried to understand what she was getting at.

“Ashleigh told me that you gave Alex your notice.”

That.

No, he hadn’t shared that information with Sierra. There were several reasons, the least of which was that he didn’t want her to worry. Cole knew money wasn’t something they had to worry about, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be a contributing member of their family. He’d had his doubts, worried that he had been impulsive in his decision to leave CISS. He still wasn’t sure whether it was the right decision or not, but now that he was home, he fully intended to work on that.

“I think it was the right decision,” Sierra added, causing Cole to tilt his head in question.

“You do?” He hadn’t imagined getting Sierra’s support on his decision. He had no reason to believe otherwise, but for some reason, he felt as though he’d let her down without talking to her first. He already knew how Luke felt, they’d had a brief discussion about him coming to work with him, not for him Luke had clarified. Cole had yet to discuss anything further with Luke, but he hoped to soon.