Find Me (The Found Duet #2)(61)
Author: Laurelin Paige

“Why would it be a mistake? Are you having doubts?”

“No, no, no.” I could have left it there. I didn’t. “But should I be having doubts? We barely know each other.”

“If you did know him better, would it really change anything?”

That was a good question. “I guess not. Unless I found out something terrible about him.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time I told Mom that I wished she’d known about Dad before she married him?”

“No. I don’t think so.” I’d been twelve when she’d died. Norma had been seventeen. I’d often envied that she’d had more time with our mother. That she’d been old enough to have conversations with her about topics that hadn’t even begun to cross my mind at that pre-teen age.

“It was near the end.” Norma paused, her gaze wandering out the window, and I knew she was remembering. “I told her that I wished she’d known he was violent when he asked her to marry him because then she could have said no.” She turned to me. “And you know what she said? She said she did know.”

“What?”

“She said she’d always known he was violent. And that she loved him anyway.”

“Christ, Mom.” Technically our mother had died of pneumonia-related complications, but we’d always known the true cause of death had been the beatings she’d taken from our father.

“I know. It’s sad.”

I let that hang there for a moment, absorbing the knowledge that my mother had loved my father and that she would have stood by him through anything. Did that make me a shitty legacy? Because I didn’t love him like she had even though he was my blood?

Then I remembered the conversation that had led to Norma’s remark. “Are you trying to tell me that JC might be violent, and oh well, because I’ll love him anyway?”

“No,” she said dismissively. “Well, possibly.” She put her hand out on my arm. “I’m trying to tell you that if you love JC, it doesn’t matter if you know him. Because whatever else you learn about him, you’ll still love him.”

“But what if he is violent? Or a child rapist? Or Republican?”

“I’m a Republican.”

“Which is why I’ll never marry you, Norma.”

She chuckled. “If he’s one as well, you’ll find a way to deal. There’s probably very little you could learn that wouldn’t be something you could work through together.” Like finding out he wants kids and I don’t. “And if you do find out something awful, and you want to leave him, it might be just as hard on your heart if you were married as it would be if you weren’t. So I say don’t worry about something that’s likely not going to happen. You should just enjoy yourself.”

I was so relieved to have Norma’s blessing that I was the one who pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Sissy. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Congratulations.” When we broke apart, she started toward the library door. “Are you coming back out there?”

“In a bit. I need to absorb everything.” It was a lot to take in—my mother, my engagement, Chandler. A moment to process wasn’t a bad idea.

“I’ll tell everyone you need a few minutes alone.” She left, and I stood in the dark, just breathing. Full, deep breaths, letting my head go empty. It wasn’t something I was good at—my mind had always been overactive. But I’d gotten better at it since…well, since JC had taught me how to set myself free, usually during sex. Occasionally I found I could do it without an orgasm too. Now wasn’t exactly one of those times—there was still too much spinning in my brain—but after a bit, my shoulders relaxed, and the knot of emotions in my stomach eased.

Eventually, the windows at the opposite side of the room beckoned me toward them. I didn’t go beyond the desk, not wanting to disturb Hudson’s work area. I didn’t need to go any farther to see the view anyway, which was incredible. The glass ran from floor to ceiling and reminded me of a time JC had fucked me against the windows at the Four Seasons. The Pierce library probably wasn’t quite as thrilling of a location for sex, I decided, since it overlooked Central Park. It didn’t feel like people might be looking in, which was half the excitement.

I also decided that floor-to-ceiling windows were on the must-have list for our condo.

Footsteps sounded on the floor behind me. I recognized them without having to turn around, and when JC wrapped an arm around me, I was ready for it.

What I wasn’t ready for was his other hand to slide under my skirt, nudge aside my panties and push inside me.