Into the Woods: Tales from the Hollows and Beyond(134)
Author: Kim Harrison

"No." It had come out too fast, and she smiled a fake smile. The last thing she wanted was him on her farm, her land. "We haven’t seen any dogs. Pepper would tell us if there were any. Thanks for telling me about what happened."

He nodded, clearly not ready to leave, wanting to say something. Lilly didn’t want to hear it, and she backed up, hands in her pockets. Kevin’s smile faltered, and Lilly didn’t give a damn if he was unhappy. She wasn’t the one sleeping with the woman who cut her hair.

"Okay then," he said, his gaze going down the road to the unseen town. "If you ever just want to talk . . ."

As if. "You drive safe, Kevin. Watch out for the armadillos."

He hesitated, his hand falling from the ignition. "Lilly, I’m sorry. I was a grade-A ass. I know it won’t change anything, but I’m sorry I hurt you. It was a mistake. A big f**king mistake."

Teeth clenched, she looked over the roof of the SUV to the heat-faded stars, cursing that he could sound so reasonable. Even when she’d found them, he’d been calm, her screaming and his silence making her seem irrational. I don’t want to be alone.

Probably thinking her silence was a wavering resolve, he shifted closer to the door, hanging an arm over the window. "What can I do to prove it to you? I know you don’t want to hear that it won’t ever happen again, but it won’t. It was just a one-night stand!"

Her eyes came down and her resolve strengthened. "That’s just it, Kevin. If I had lied to you, or pushed you away, or slept around I could understand what you did. If you actually loved the little bitch, I could understand and even maybe forgive you. But you were bored and wanted a quick piece of ass. And you want me to believe that it won’t happen again?"

Kevin slowly pulled himself back into the cab.

"Now that I think about it, I think I understand it, after all," Lilly said bitterly.

Looking at his hands, Kevin sighed. "We can get through this." His head slowly came up. "I know we can. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it."

The band around her chest tightened. Behind her, her home lay silent, an island in the sea of crickets. She had let him become important to her, and now she was paying the price. "I want you to leave. I want you to leave town and never come back."

Kevin’s brow furrowed. "This is my home, too. Lilly, I’m trying to make this better. I love you."

Not enough, apparently. She let his last words hang until he had the decency to drop his eyes. "I’m going to say thank you for talking to me, Officer Lowel. But if you put one foot on my land outside of your official capacity, I’ll set Pepper on you. You understand me?"

His motions stiff, Kevin sighed and started his truck.

Lilly backed up as he drove his truck away, gravel and dust spurting. The wood of the bridge under her feet was like textured heat, and she scooped up her sandals, reluctant to put them on with grit between her toes. She was shaking, hating the confrontation, hating him all the more. Without thought, she sat on the edge then slipped into the water.

Her breath came in with a gasp as the chill of the water hit her feet, the growing ache at her ankles rising up her calves. The cold shocked her from her anger, and feeling vulnerable, she lifted her head to the stars faded from the humidity and the charge of heat lightning. Her mother’s warning to stay out of the water rose, and her shoulders hunched. Her mother was a old woman, touched by her past and fighting to hide it. Finding a murder victim at fourteen would leave a mark on just about everyone.

The shock of the water dulled, and she moved a few paces, feeling the current push against her even as it cooled her flush, calming her emotions and making it easier to think. From the house, the lights went off in the girls’ room and flicked on in her mom’s.

"I’m listening, Penn," she whispered, still angry at the world, angry that her mother was doing this to her. "I’m here, you son of a bitch. Show yourself. If you’re real, show yourself!"

But there was nothing, no singsong voice in her head, no sun-browned vision of youth and deviltry come to mock her. Nothing.

Relief slipped into her, quickly followed by worry. What was she going to do about her mother?

A lump filled her throat, and she looked past the house to the woods beyond. It was hard to raise two girls alone. Fortunately the farm was paid for and Paul’s alimony went a long way. Because of her mother, she’d been able to do what she loved. That the girls were spending time with her mother had been great-until now.

Calf deep in water, she shifted her toes among the smaller rocks to find the silty grit below. She didn’t want to become one of those ungrateful daughters who only went to visit on Sunday after church, the girls getting a skewed vision of their grandmother, not the strong, proud, capable woman she knew her to be. Guilt pushed out the fear and she looked to the heavens, the weight of the atmosphere pressing down and making her feel small. "Why are you doing this, Mom?" she whispered.

But there was no answer, and she turned back to the steep bank, hesitating before she stepped out to enjoy the feel of the water coursing over her feet. Like cool silk, it brushed her, and she closed her eyes, one hand on the bridge as she felt the warm breath of the night touch her with the first night breeze. Despite everything, she missed Kevin. Or rather, she missed the way he had made her feel. Why had she ever believed him? Why had she ever believed any man?

"Because you are a goddess, my sad little wood lily. It’s how you’re made, just as I’m made to love you for it."

Lilly gasped, her eyes snapping open as she felt something skate over her skin, rising from the water to touch her in a wave. Penn. He wasn’t a delusion. He was real.

"I’m here," he said, and she turned, finding him sitting cross-legged at the very center of the bridge at its highest point.

"You can’t cross running water," she breathed, then thought that was a foolish thing to say. He wasn’t real, but he was.

He smiled, his head cocking slyly to look at her from under his shaggy bangs. He looked about nineteen, far older than the image bending over her mother in the sun. His shoulders had a lean strength, his limbs still showing a lanky growth that had yet to be grown into. "I’m not touching the water. I’m sitting on a bridge." His chin lifted, and his smile became benevolent. "You’re broken. Let me fix you. I can do it. I promise."

Lilly swallowed, glancing up at her mother’s lit window. "You’re not real."

Penn’s eyebrows went up, and he shifted where he sat as if the statement bothered him. Moonlight puddled around him to make him into a dangerous shadow. "I am, though I admittedly have no flesh. Your mind perceives me and gives me an image that you can see . . . and feel. Little girls know this for a fact. How is it you’ve forgotten?"