Long Time Gone (Rough Riders #16.5)(30)
Author: Lorelei James

“You may act older than you are, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are just eighteen. You have adventures ahead of you.” He kissed the top of her head. “I want that for you. To have the excitement of doin’ something new. You deserve a chance to see who you are away from your schooling and your family. You’ve been plannin’ this a long time—longer than you’ve been with me—and I’d never ask you to give that up.”

Even if I want you to ask me to stay?

Rather than phrase her response nicely, she felt her anger and fear of the unknown get the better of her. “Oh, so now that you’ve had me in your bed for a week, you’re tired of me? You’re gonna show me firsthand the McKay reputation for fucking until you get your fill and then moving on?”

“You don’t have to leave in anger,” he said softly. “You already left your family that way, don’t lump me in with them. There’s no need to say hurtful, untrue shit just because you can.” He brushed his mouth across her ear. “You think this is easy for me? You think my selfish side ain’t screamin’ up and down that I’m a fuckin’ idiot for makin’ you go? It’d be a damn sight easier askin’ you to stay. We both know that. But I never wanna see them pretty blue eyes glaring at me with resentment. I never wanna see a far-off look on your face that tells me you’re wondering how different your life would’ve been if you’d taken that chance. That’s a big goddamn burden for me to bear, sweetheart.”

“But how is making me go any different than what my family did by making my decisions for me?”

“Because you made this decision on your own. I’m just makin’ sure you stick with it.”

Tears welled up. “Why are you bein’ so reasonable?”

“One of us has to be.” He kissed the hollow below her ear. “Finish up and get those suitcases off the bed, woman, so I can strip you bare and give you something hot and hard to remember me.”

At least he hadn’t said he wanted to make love to her one last time.

So it was sort of ironic that’s how it played out. Cal touching her everywhere with those skilled hands. Knowing exactly how to make her purr, moan and scream. Him kissing her from the arch of her foot to the crown of her head and everywhere in between.

He dragged out the pleasure. When they’d both reached the point of no return, he whispered, “Come with me. I wanna hear you say my name.”

“Cal.”

“Look at me.”

She met his gaze and shattered beneath his pounding thrusts.

When the throbbing ebbed, she saw something deeper in his eyes and it soothed her ragged edges, knowing he’d be as messed up by her leaving as she was. Knowing their time together had meant as much to him as it had to her.

They remained locked together as their sweating bodies cooled and their heartbeats returned to normal.

After a few deep kisses, Cal slowly rolled off her. He snatched his clothes and left her to get dressed.

Kimi gave the rumpled bed one last look before she lugged her suitcases into the hall. Then she wandered through the house and out the back door.

She cried during her goodbye to Gigi. Maybe if she got the tears out of her system now, she wouldn’t sob as she watched Cal’s taillights fading off into the distance. The pup licked away her tears and whined. “Be a good girl. He’ll need extra doggie snuggles, so stick close.” She ruffled the soft fur. “But feel free to bite any other women he brings around.”

Gigi yipped agreement.

She shouldered her purse and saw her suitcases were gone. She found Cal leaning against the driver’s side of his pickup, squinting at something across the horizon.

“What?”

“It feels like rain. God knows we need it.”

“So we’re talkin’ about the weather now?”

Cal smirked. “Darlin’, sixty percent of rancher’s conversations are about weather and thirty-nine percent of conversations are about cattle.”

“And the other one percent?”

“Everything else.”

Kimi slid her hands up his chest. “Glad to know I made the one percent for a little while.”

“You’ve been ninety-nine percent this week and you know it.” He tugged her against him. “I’ve been wrestlin’ with how to say this, or if I oughta say it at all. I know you have to go. But when you get tired of the gypsy life, come back here. Come back to me. I’ll be waitin’ for you. For however long it takes.”

She lost the ability to breathe.

“I trust in this, what we have between us, to know that it’ll last. I’m confident enough to let you go, because I realize this ain’t the right time for us, but there will be a right time. And you will be back.”