Out of Mind (Out of Line #3)(41)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

“Sometimes, I wish you were Finn. That you’d been sent here to protect me, not him.” I rested my hands on his arms. “It would be so much easier.”

“Me too.” He tilted my face up to his. “Maybe you could move on from the past at some point, though? From his hold over you?”

I swallowed past my aching throat. I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “I don’t know. He still owns the majority of my feelings; I know that. I don’t know what I feel for him anymore, but he fills my head all the time.”

“Fair enough.” He stared at my mouth, his eyes darkening. “How about one more kiss before I go?”

Before I could answer, his lips were on mine again. He kissed me, and it felt good. I even felt a little bit of desire stirring within me. But it just wasn’t Finn.

It wasn’t fair.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue touching mine. Even though I wanted to pull away, to end it, I kissed him back. Heck, I even pulled him closer. I owed it to both of us to at least try to feel something here. To try to get over Finn. Something within me came to life, a small flicker of something, but it almost wasn’t strong enough to notice.

I curled my hands behind his neck, moaning into his mouth, and he crushed me against his chest. When he groaned and cupped my butt, hauling me closer against his erection, desire hit me pretty hard, but it didn’t feel right. Panic crept up my throat, choking me. I gasped and lurched back, my hand covering my mouth. “I’m s-sorry. I can’t. N-Not yet.”

“I’m sorry. I got carried away.” He gave me a small smile. “But that was perfect. Just perfect, Carrie.”

Yeah. Perfect. “I know. It was…nice.” Nice won’t make you scream out in bed, Ginger. “Unexpected, even.”

He grinned. “I’ll take it.”

“Riley…” My heart wrenched. “Was it him?”

The grin slipped away. I felt like crap for asking, but I had to know. He slid his shades in place. “Yeah. It was Finn. He looked better than the last time we saw him. More whole.” He looked away. “Are you going to get back together with him now?”

“No.” I shook my head for emphasis. “Absolutely not. He’s over me.”

Riley hesitated. “I’m killing my own case here, but I have to be honest or I’ll never be able to live with myself. The way he looked at you today? He didn’t look over you. He looked like he wanted you back, Carrie.”

A small thrill shot through me, but I stifled it. He’d hurt me. Broke my heart. Even if he was regretting it now, it didn’t mean I would fall into his arms and hug him.

My heart was still broken.

“Well, it’s a little too late for that now.” I crossed my arms and forced a smile. If I were smart, I’d fall for Riley. I’d forget all about the boy who’d broken my heart. If only my darn heart would get the memo. “Thanks for visiting me this weekend. I had fun.”

“Should we do it again soon?”

I hesitated. My heart said no, but my mind screamed yes. “You know I’m still not over him, right? I can’t commit to you fully yet.”

“But you could in the future? I could definitely work with those odds. I’m a gambling man when the occasion calls for it.”

I bit down on my lip. “I want to, but I can’t promise anything.”

“Especially since he’s back.”

“That’s not why—”

“Carrie. I get it. You loved him, and still do—maybe, kind of, sort of.” He cupped my cheek, his thumb resting on my chin. It made me think of how Finn used to do something similar, but he’d run his thumb over my lower lip instead. My stomach clenched tight at the memory. “Those feelings might come back to the front if he comes to see you. And if that does happen, that’s okay. I know what I’m up against, but unless you get back together with him? I’m not going anywhere. I’m determined to throw my hat in the ring, or whatever people say nowadays.”

Tears filled my eyes, but I laughed. “You’re too good for me.”

Funny. Finn used to say that to me all the time. I finally understood what he meant now. Hindsight was twenty-twenty, after all.

“Nah. I’m just patient and understanding and…okay, maybe I’m a little too good.” He kissed me, smiling against my lips when I laughed again. “I’ll call you later this week to see if you want to get together. No pressure or anything, but I’ll be expecting a yes. Don’t break my heart, Carrie.”

I shook my head at his teasing. “Okay.”

After watching him drive away, I headed back toward my dorm. Hernandez stepped out from the shadows once I got close to him, a disinterested look in his eyes. “Here.”

“Um…thanks.” I took what he handed to me. It was a small rose. “You’re giving me a rose?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. Read the little paper.”

I opened the tiny scrap of paper that someone had wrapped around it. Keep smiling. I looked up at Hernandez, feeling more confused than anything. “Who gave you this?”

“No one. I found it on your car, so I took it off to make sure it wasn’t a death threat or something.”

I blinked down at it. It was yellow. Yellow roses were my favorite. “Maybe it was from Riley?”

He looked away. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “So. What’s next for today?”

I sniffed the rose and walked toward my car. “I don’t know.” I stole a glance at him. “Have you seen Marie this morning? Is she back at the dorm?”

“I don’t know. Last I saw, she was out with some guy getting coffee.” Hernandez tightened his fists. “She was wearing the same clothes she had on last night.”

“Oh. That must have been Sean. He seems like a nice enough guy.” When Hernandez clenched his jaw, I looked over at him. “You know, if you want her, you should just ask her out before she gets serious with some other guy—maybe even Sean. Right now, they’re having fun. There aren’t feelings involved or anything.”

He gave me an incredulous look. “Why in the hell would I want to do that?”

“Because you seem to like her. And believe it or not? I think she likes you, too.” I stopped at my door. “You should ask her out already. We’d planned on doing a double date when Finn came home, if you recall. We can’t double-date anymore, but you could take her out without me.”