Out of Mind (Out of Line #3)(42)
Author: Jen McLaughlin

He frowned at me. “Yeah, I don’t think so. We would be horrible together.”

“If you say so.”

“I do.” He leaned on the passenger side. “So, you staying in, or going out?”

“Um…” I looked up at the sky. It was a pretty warm day, and there was a good breeze for an early spring morning. I hadn’t been surfing since…well, since Finn. Suddenly, it seemed like the best idea ever to get out there again. To do something that I hadn’t done in months. To get back to living. “Actually, I’m going to go surfing.”

His brows slammed down. “You can’t. Finn said you’re not allowed to go out without him.”

“He did, yes, back when he was my bodyguard and my boyfriend. He isn’t either of those things anymore.” I raised my brows. “So why should it matter? It’s irrelevant.”

“Carrie…” He frowned. “You can’t go out there alone. Finn had his reasons for not wanting you out there alone, no matter where he is or what he’s doing now.”

Or who he’s doing it with, I added in my head.

“Yeah, well, I don’t care what his reasons are. I’m an adult, and he isn’t my boss, boyfriend, or father.” I crossed my arms, the rose still in my hand. “Last time I checked, he didn’t have any say on what I did with myself. Not since he walked away. If I want to surf, I’ll freaking surf. You can’t stop me.”

He dropped his head back and glared up at the sky. “Days like this? I hate my f**king job even more.”

“Sorry.” I opened the door. “But I’m going anyway.”

I climbed up the stairs, feeling free. Feeling light. And for the first time in a while, I was excited about something. I pushed open my door and headed for my bikini and wetsuit. Marie sat on the bed, reading a biology book. “Hey. Whatcha doing?”

“I’m going surfing.” I grinned over my shoulder at her and tossed the yellow rose on my pillow. “What are you up to besides doing the walk of shame at a coffee shop?”

She flushed. “Nothing like that happened. I just fell asleep at Sean’s place.” Then she paused. “Wait. How did you know I got coffee this morning?”

“Besides the cup in your hand? Hernandez saw you.” I yanked my shirt over my head. “You might want to look away. I’m about to be naked.”

She huffed and turned away. “Why the hell is he watching me now? Who does he think he is? He doesn’t work for my dad.”

“I don’t think he was watching you.” I took my bra off and slipped the bikini in its place. “He just happened to come across you.”

“Well, he can just happen to kiss my ass, too.” Marie set her coffee down hard. “Is he out there?”

“Yep. He’s pissed because I’m surfing.”

She stood up. She had on a pair of short shorts and combat boots, paired with a flowing purple tank top. She looked beautiful in her anger. It brought a color to her cheeks that had been missing before. “He’s about to be even more pissed after I’m done with him.”

She stormed out without another word. I blinked after her.

“Okay, then,” I muttered. After I finished changing, I grabbed my board and headed downstairs. I passed Cory, but ignored him. We were so done, no matter how much he knew about me. My bullshit meter had filled up and overflowed. I came through the doors just in time to see Marie stomping away from Hernandez. He watched her with a confused look on his face, shaking his head. I almost felt sorry for him.

I walked right by him. “I’m going now.”

“I don’t like this.” He walked beside me, glaring the whole time. “You shouldn’t be out there alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Turns out, I kinda like being alone. There’s no one to boss me around, and no one to let down. ” I flipped my hair over my shoulder and unlocked the car. “You can watch from the beach if you’d like. Want a ride?”

He sighed. “Sure. Why not?”

The whole time we drove to the beach, my heart raced. I was actually going to do this. Go out there without Finn. It was exhilarating. Scary. Fun. And more importantly, it would prove I didn’t need him anymore. I didn’t need him to have fun. If I could do this, well, I could move on. I could be free of him.

Maybe, with time, I could even be happy again.

I pulled into my normal spot. There weren’t a lot of people out there in the water. It was too late for optimal waves, but I didn’t care. I was going to have fun anyway. I hopped out of my car and grabbed my board, closing my eyes and inhaling the fresh beach smell. On the West Coast, it smelled so clean. Crisp, even. The waves crashed on the sand, creating a soothing sound that never ceased to calm my nerves. Today was no exception. I kicked off my flip-flops, eager to get my bare toes in the sand again.

Hernandez shoved his phone in his pocket and scanned the beach. “Where do you surf?”

“Out there.” I pointed to my normal spot. It’s where Finn had always taken me, and I couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. Maybe it was habit; maybe it was sentiment. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment. All I knew was I liked the memories, as painful as they might be at times. “See? There’s even a bench over there where you can sit and watch.”

He nodded. “Don’t kill yourself, or he’ll kill me.”

“Don’t worry, my dad will never know you let me surf,” I called over my shoulder, tossing my flip-flops at him. “Hold these, will ya?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he called out sarcastically. “Want me to braid your hair and tell you all my secrets, too?”

I ignored him, grinning as I headed for the surf. As soon as my feet touched the water, I laughed out loud. This was it. This was what I’d needed today. I swam out to the optimal surfing point and climbed on my board. Wringing my hair out, I tilted my face up to the sun, letting it all soak in. Letting the freedom hit me.

I could do this. I could move on. Get over him.

Try again.

“Hey, Ginger.” A shadow fell over me, and for a second I thought I was imagining things again. Hearing things. “You know you’re not supposed to be out here alone.”

I opened my eyes slowly, as if I might find out I’d imagined the whole thing if I dared to peek. It was him. Finn. My heart lurched, painfully accelerating so hard it seemed as if it was trying to jump out of my chest and back into his hands where it used to be.