Searching for Perfect (Searching For #2)(71)
Author: Jennifer Probst

Nate shoved him away and fisted his hands. “Fuck you! Who said this is all you got? Mom? Dad? Me? You? Decide what you want, and you go after it. If getting a supervisor position means a college degree, go back to school.”

Connor pushed him back, and got in his face. Spittle flew from his mouth as he growled, “Fuck you! I don’t have the money.”

Nate took the first punch. A nice, clean arc connecting with his brother’s jaw. “Fuck you! You sacrificed and put me through school and raised me. You don’t think I’d pay for your education and anything else you need? Why can’t I finally give something back to you?”

Connor held his jaw, lowered his body, and sicced him with a powerful uppercut that snapped his head back. Little birdies began to fly, and then the world steadied. “Fuck you! I’m not smart enough to go to college.”

Nate bent low and head butted him in the stomach. His brother gasped for air and fell back. “Fuck you! You’ve always been smart, but you never had the chance to show it. You’re a natural at management, and a business degree would give you everything you want. Pussy!”

His brother straightened and stepped in the ring. “Who you calling a pussy?”

They stopped talking and started punching. Nate used everything he was taught and added some new moves, but Connor was the master and blocked most of the serious jabs. Finally, they both fell back on the floor, panting for breath, adrenaline pumping and filling up the room.

It was beautiful.

His muscles let go, and he laid his head back on the floor, catching up on his oxygen and staring at the ceiling. He sensed his brother was doing the same. After a while, Connor’s voice drifted up. “Would you really put me through college?”

“Yeah.”

A pause. “You think I could do it?”

“I know you could.”

“The guys use this local community college that gives discounted rates. I could still work, go to class at night, and take the accelerated weekend ones to finish earlier.”

“You already checked into it, huh?”

A sigh echoed. “Yeah.”

“Good. Register this week.”

“Okay. Where’d you learn that ‘right hook, swipe the knee at the same time’ move?”

“Took what you gave me and tweaked it a bit. A bit of science helps.”

“Nice. Hey, Nate?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still love that matchmaker? If she wanted you back, would you go?”

His heart died a little, but he was used to it, and figured one day it wouldn’t ache so much. Maybe. Maybe not. “I love her. But I don’t know. It would depend. She needs to take a hell of a leap for me to believe she’ll stick. Because I won’t survive losing her a second time.”

“I hear you.”

They lay in silence for a while, then slowly got up. Retrieved their beer. And started watching Breaking Bad, side by side.

seventeen

KATE PEEKED IN her office. “You okay?”

She forced a smile. “Hanging in there.”

“Ladies’ night. Mugs. Friday. Gen’s coming.”

Ken raised her brow. “You believe her?”

“David’s out of town at a conference so I think she’ll sneak out. Jane and Arilyn are in.”

“Okay.” She tried to keep her voice from sounding lackluster, but her energy was low these days. The knowledge that she’d lost Nate for good would take her a long recovery time. But she was making some changes. She’d gone back to her therapist, and the sessions were helpful. All that time she’d gotten her body back to being healthy, she’d forgotten the other important half. To love all of herself, good and bad, fat and skinny, smart and not so smart. They were delving deep, and though the work was painful, a weight began to lift from her soul.

Three weeks had passed since she officially lost Nate. Both Mary and he had withdrawn from Kinnections, and she hoped he was happy with her.

Kate spoke quietly. “You’re going to be okay, sweetie. We’ll get you through it.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“What happens if you let your soul-mate go? You sensed we were meant for each other. But what if it doesn’t work? Is one doomed to spend the rest of her life searching for something she’ll never find?”

Kate shook her head hard. “No. You cannot think like that. My mother explained about the gift. It doesn’t guarantee a happy-ever-after. Two people may not be meant for this time around. You can have many people you love in this lifetime, Ken, I swear to you. And we don’t know the future. The most important part is you didn’t turn away from it. You tried to tell Nate the truth. You took the risk. That’s the key. Understand?”

Silly tears threatened. She was so frickin’ emotional lately. “Yes. Thanks.”

“No problem. I came in to tell you there’s a client waiting. I tried to help him, but he only wants to talk to you. Heard you were the best.”

Ken swiped at her eyes and laughed. “Well, he’s right about that. You can send him in.”

“You got it.”

She straightened her desk, adjusted her cocoa brown jacket, and put her game face on. The pen dropped from her fingers when she came face-to-face with Nate’s brother.

Fear cut her apart piece by piece. “Is Nate okay?”

“Yes, he’s fine. Just wanted to talk.”

The breath left her body. Thank God. She’d take the emotional hit of being close to his brother as long as Nate was safe. “Sit down.”

He unfurled his long, bulky length into the seat. He tried to hook one ankle over his leg but bashed himself into the desk, so he settled for shaking his foot back and forth as if he were about to face the principal in elementary school. “Got something to ask.”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you still love Nate?”

Her body froze but she forced herself to speak. “Yes. I will probably always love him.”

“I lied.”

She cocked her head and studied him. His hand began to pound out a rhythm against his knee. “What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t sleeping with Mary. He never did. They were dating, and I didn’t trust you. I lied to make sure you didn’t bother him again.”

A small smile broke over her lips. “I don’t blame you. You’re his brother, and you wanted to protect him. I would’ve lied, too.”

He stopped rocking and tapping and met her gaze. The hazel eyes that were once filled with accusation now seemed softer. More forgiving. “I made a mistake. I never told Nate about you coming to see him.”