Seductive Chaos (Bad Rep #3)(26)
Author: A. Meredith Walters

Was it because with him was the possibility of an actual relationship? A tiny slice of normalcy that I had otherwise been missing in my life.

That to accept would be to take that first step away from Cole for good.

I hadn’t dated anyone since Cole and I started sleeping together. Sure there had been dates here and there but I had always found a reason to call it quits before it ever began.

I kissed some guys. But Cole was the only man I had been with in over two years.

Because Cole had been the only one I wanted. For all of his faults, he fulfilled this crazy need I had inside me like no one else could.

But Theo was different. Or maybe it was me that was different.

I felt something alter inside me. I was reaching a breaking point and I knew that now was my moment for change.

My cell phone dinged in my purse, as if on cue. I pulled it out and looked down at the screen and had to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t laugh in Theo’s ear.

Mr. Winky and I miss you…

A few seconds later another text came in and this time I had to snicker out loud at the cartoon drawing of a penis with sad eyes and a pouting mouth saying, Hurry up, I’m lonely!

My heart thudded in my chest and my stomach coiled up in anticipation. I missed him too, damn him!

I was honestly starting to question whether the man had latent psychic abilities. Even from hundreds of miles away he was screwing up my world and driving me insane.

“Vivian. I wasn’t trying to be funny. I really want to know if you’ll go out to lunch with me today. I’m asking you out,” Theo rambled and I turned off my cell phone. Cole’s Mr. Winky and his cartoon eyes would just have to wait.

I squeezed my eyes shut and did the stupidest thing I could do. I knew instantly I was a fool. But I was a fool who craved the mistake she was going to make.

“I can’t make it today, Theo. Maybe another time.”

Gracie and I drove into Raleigh around midafternoon on Friday.

We called Maysie and I was both disappointed and slightly relieved when she informed us that the guys were over at another radio station for some press and interviews.

The thought of seeing Cole made me jumpy. I wasn’t sure what to do with this weird new vibe between us and whether that would translate into oh-my-god-you’re-fantastic or oh-my-god-I’m-going-to-rip-your-face-off when I saw him.

I was feeling guilty about Theo and my cruel flirting and casual dismissal. I liked Theo. I thought he had great potential. But I was being led around by the wayward bitch between my legs. And she only wanted Mr. Winky.

I was a girl who spent way too much time fixated on guy problems. Ugh.

We made plans to meet up with Maysie at the Chili’s across the street for dinner. I used the time until then to coordinate my best rock slut outfit and to try out a dozen ways to wear my eye shadow.

Because I was feeling magnanimous, I offered to do Gracie’s makeup as well. She declined.

“You’re loss,” I tossed out as I ran my fingers through my hair. I pursed my lips at my reflection when I was finished.

I looked good.

Damn good.

Cole was going to be eating out of the palm of my hand. He wouldn’t be able to look at anyone but me.

He was mine.

I ran my hands down my sides, pulling my teeny-tiny leather skirt higher up on my thighs. My bodice top showed off my navel piercing and tiny heart tattoo on my hipbone. My hair hung to the middle of my back and my eyes were done up dark and mysterious.

Damn, I think I wanted to have sex with me.

Gracie was dressed in her usual sweet and innocent style. This time with faded blue jeans and button up pink shirt that hit her belly, showing a little skin. Her white, blonde hair was straight around her shoulders and her makeup was subtle and understated.

We got a booth by the bar at Chili’s and I ordered a beer and nachos while Gracie got herself water and wings. And while we waited for Maysie, I enjoyed turning some heads. In the twenty minutes since we had sat down we had been hit on twice and had a round of shots bought for us by the old dudes in the corner.

Gracie pushed the shots towards me and I noticed the slight tremor in her hands as she did so.

“Do we need to go somewhere else?” I asked her, feeling stupid for suggesting we sit next to the bar to wait for Maysie. It wasn’t the best place for someone to sit when they struggled not to drink.

“I’m fine,” Gracie scoffed, looking insulted at the suggestion that she was anything but okay. Despite her assurance, I returned the shots and quickly downed my beer.

Finally Maysie arrived and I knew instantly that something was wrong. Her face was pinched and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked as if she hadn’t slept properly in days.

Though I was sure sleeping on a tour bus with a gaggle of men had something to do with it, I knew it was more than that. Call it friend telepathy.

“What’s up, hun? You look stressy,” I said, ruffling Maysie’s hair in the way I knew she hated. She didn’t react in the slightest. Something was definitely up.

“This living on the road stuff isn’t as great as I thought it would be,” she admitted on a sigh and sagged down into the seat. I looked at Gracie who seemed as concerned as I was.

“Talk about it,” I urged, putting my arm around her shoulders.

“Everyone’s on edge. And I think this new manager is stirring up the tension. I don’t like him. He’s shady as hell.”

Cole had mentioned Jose Suarez a few times but it had always been with a respect and reverence reserved for Sierra Nevada IPA and Papa John’s cheesesticks. In other words, for Cole at least, Jose walked on water.

So it was a surprise to hear that from Maysie.

“Why do you think that?” I asked picking apart my loaded nachos.

“He’s always off talking to Cole and Cole’s being different, I guess. I mean he’s still an obnoxious prick but he’s pulling away some. The other guys are feeling it too. Jordan is ready to lose it.”

“Jordan is always ready to lose it on Cole though,” I interrupted.

Maysie shook her head. “No, this is nearing blood bath levels. It’s exhausting trying to keep him from knocking Cole’s head off.”

I bristled a bit, feeling unusually protective over the one person who most likely didn’t need or deserve it.

“Well Jordan’s always been less than patient when it comes to Cole. Maybe you need to remind him to worry about his own bullshit before he goes and starts in on someone else,” I snipped, making Gracie’s eyes widened.