Take This Regret (Take This Regret #1)(21)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I wanted to say so much, explain, but figured today I’d pushed my luck about as far as it would go.

“Goodbye, Elizabeth,” I said softly.

Her face contorted, twisted in agony as she chewed on her trembling lower lip. I hated that I made her feel this way.

Rushed with the urge to comfort her, I reached out, sooner than I had the chance to think better of it. Wide-eyed with shock, she reeled back. My eyes grew as wide as hers did when I realized what I’d done.

Then she jumped in her car and sped away.

Chapter 06

Out of breath, I tied off what felt like the thousandth bal oon I’d blown up today. Not surprising, they were pink. all of them.

Strong hands came to rest on my shoulders while soothing fingers massaged in an attempt to chase away the tightness in my muscles. “Are you doing okay, Liz?” I shrugged against his hands, glancing over my shoulder at Matthew. What was I going to say? That I was okay? Because I wasn’t. Nothing seemed worse than Christian invading the safety of my home. Sympathetic eyes promised he understood.

Really, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through today. Watching Christian interact with Lizzie last Saturday had been nothing less than excruciating. I’d prayed that he just wouldn’t show up, ending the whole thing quickly, instead of dragging the inevitable out.

Of course, he came.

Hearing Lizzie call him Daddy had broken my heart all over again, and hearing him agree had made me want to spit in his face. I couldn’t watch as Lizzie snuggled up to him, how he wrapped his arm around her, how he looked at her. I’d spent most of the time studying greasy fingerprints on the wal , fighting against the urge to grab my daughter and run out the door, and reminding myself that this was the lesser of two evils.

Then the bastard thanked me as if I’d given him a gift and denied that he would have taken me to court. So typical, he’d played the good guy after he’d gotten what he wanted. I’d decided right there that I was going to end this. I wouldn’t all ow him to play games with me or with my daughter.

That plan was squelched when Lizzie had invited him to her birthday party. What was I supposed to do? Refuse my daughter? Her face held more hope than I’d ever seen.

I’d searched for an excuse, a reason for him not to come, certain he wouldn’t sacrifice two Saturday afternoons in a row for a child that he didn’t even know, a child that I refused to believe he cared anything about.

And since nothing ever goes my way, he’d countered, saying he had no plans. Lizzie was thril ed and had jumped straight into his arms.

The moment that fol owed had nearly ruined me, almost unable to bear what was taking place. I’d wanted to turn away but couldn’t as Lizzie buried herself in his arms, her words muffled though clear. She told him she loved him, and he’d returned the affection. His tears almost made me question my resolve, the sincerity of his whispered thank-you.

Then when he’d stood before me, I’d almost broken down, the questions that had swirled in my head the entire time fighting release from my mouth.

How could you?

Did you think of me? Did you think of our child?

Why didn’t you love me enough?

Did you even love me at all ?

Why now, after so many years?

And in that second, I wanted to know why he was looking at me as if he wanted me.

His move to touch me had shocked me back into my reality. Dangerous. I had been there before, and I knew that if I all owed him to speak, to explain, I would so easily fal prey to his deceit. I would believe, and believing in Christian Davison again would be the most foolish move I could ever make.

“Hey, Liz, where do you want this?” Mom stood in the doorway between the living room and kitchen, holding up the heart-shaped piñata she had fil ed with candy and little goodies for the kids.

“Um . . . I think Matthew has a rope set up for it outside.” I glanced at him, and he nodded, already walking her way.

“I’l take care of that, Linda.”

“Thanks.” She handed it to him, and Matthew disappeared through the sliding glass door to the backyard. Mom lingered, watching me as I gathered the last bunch of bal oons to take outside to finish off the decorations.

“You okay?” Mom’s voice was deep with concern, her face etched with the kind of worry only a mother could feel.

I smiled sadly at her. Mom and I were very close and shared most everything. She knew how deeply Christian had wounded me, and there was no one who understood it as wel as she did. My own father had left her for another woman, leaving her alone to raise three little girls. He’d just disappeared in the middle of the night from our lives forever.

“I’l be okay, Mom.”

She searched my face, not believing my answer. It was as if she could sense every fear I had. “You’d better go upstairs and finish getting Lizzie ready. It’s nearly two-thirty.

I’l help them finish up outside.” She tilted her head toward the ceiling, breaking the intense moment we’d shared.

I nodded and started up the stairs. Lizzie’s laugh floating down to me lightened my mood. Her cousins were obviously very successful in entertaining her while the rest of us prepared for her party. My family was so supportive, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Happily giving up an entire Saturday for us, everyone had shown up first thing this morning to set up.

Al three children were on Lizzie’s bedroom floor.

Lizzie and her cousin, Maggie, who was just a year older, were listening intently as Maggie’s older brother, Brandon, read them a story. It was so adorable.

I watched them for a couple of minutes before interrupting. “Hey, Lizzie. It’s time to get dressed. Your guests wil be coming soon.”

She jumped up, squealing and running around in circles in her room. “Yay!” She was wound up tight, but I could only grin because of her excitement. I pulled her princess dress from her closet, and she squealed again when she saw it, clapping her hands wildly.

“Oh, Mommy, I’m gonna be so pretty!”

Maggie and Brandon left the room, and I helped Lizzie into the pink, fril y dress, which was real y a dress-up costume, one she’d seen at the toy store and had fal en in love with. It was a bit out of my price range, but I’d set aside a little over the last month and surprised her with it after I’d gotten home from work last night.

“You are the prettiest princess I’ve ever seen,” I said with a smile, kissing her nose. She giggled, and twirled in front of the ful -length mirror on the back of her door. I pinned the plastic tiara in her hair, and she stepped into the little satin slippers.