Take This Regret (Take This Regret #1)(25)
Author: A.L. Jackson

I wondered if I could ever stop being a selfish ass**le.

“Burgers are ready!” Greg made the announcement, and the smal group of people broke apart, fal ing into line with their smiles wide as they fil ed their plates.

The thought of a burger straight off a backyard gril made my mouth water, but I had no intention of eating. It would be far too uncomfortable to expect food when I wasn’t even welcome, though I shouldn’t have been surprised when Lizzie stood before me, her smal hands clutching a plate extended in offering.

“Are you hungry, Daddy?” Kind blue eyes looked up at me, perceptive and aware.

I gulped down the awe and nodded. “Thank-you, sweetheart.” She graced me in that same consuming smile when I accepted her gift, tiny teeth exposed, dimples drawn, leaving my heart in my throat as I watched her dance away and take her place at the smal children’s table.

I ate my meal in my sheltered corner, though not alone as I felt Lizzie’s spirit linger at my side. It was almost too much to be showered in her undeserved love.

Once the food had been eaten and plates set aside, Elizabeth, Natalie, and Carrie brought Lizzie’s gifts over and placed them around her on the grass. Lizzie bounced with excitement. In admiration, I watched as my five-year-old daughter took time to have her mother read each card to her. She opened her gifts careful y and thanked whomever she’d received it from. Her surprise was genuine as she unwrapped each one, never expecting anything, but gracious to have received it.

Elizabeth had raised the most incredible child, so humble, so appreciative.

Lizzie’s eyes went wide when she opened the largest box I’d given her. A doll. She’d asked for a dol , which had turned out to be a more difficult request than I’d ever imagined. There were hundreds of them at the store, and I’d been thankful when the young employee had helped me select one. The dol was lifelike, handmade, and had long black hair and blue eyes. As soon as the woman had shown it to me, I’d known it was perfect even though I’d had to pry my jaw off the floor when I’d found out how much it cost. The look on Lizzie’s face told me it was wel worth it.

She unwrapped the other gifts from me, each a different accessory for the dol , each a piece the saleswoman insisted she would love.

When the other boxes had been opened, Lizzie rose and raced across the lawn and into my lap, throwing her smal arms around my neck. “Thank-you, Daddy! I love her!” I held her to me, murmuring against her head. “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

She sat back, her smile so wide it stretched over her entire face.

My heart felt as if it would burst against my chest.

I would do anything to see that smile.

I reached out and pushed back a lock of hair that had fal en into her eyes, my smile soft. “I love you, precious girl.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

She hugged me again, hard, and then scooted off my lap and ran to finish opening the rest of her gifts.

I lifted my head and caught everyone staring at me. all of them were quick to avert their attention back to Lizzie who started to open the last of her presents—al except for Elizabeth’s mother. Her expression was unreadable but intense and probing. I shifted in discomfort. If there was one person here besides Elizabeth and Lizzie whom I’d let down, it was Linda. I would never forget the last time I’d seen her, when she’d pulled me aside and made me promise her that I’d never break her daughter’s heart. In a heartbeat, I’d sworn that I never would.

When Lizzie had thanked everyone a final time for her gifts, Elizabeth announced it was time for cake. Everyone gathered around the table, including myself. Unable to resist, I pulled out my phone and recorded Lizzie as she grinned ear to ear, her eyes darting around to the people who loved her as they sang “Happy Birthday.” She sucked in a deep breath before blowing out all five candles in one fel swoop while everyone clapped and call ed out, “Make a wish.”

Elizabeth’s face was indescribable as she celebrated with her daughter, ful of life and so much love. I saw joy and no evidence of the pain I had caused her. I stared a beat too long, and Elizabeth caught my eye. Her happiness drained, despondency taking its place. Shame urged me to look away, but I held fast.For a moment we were caught in each other, verging on something familiar, longing obscured by years of separation.

She blinked rapidly, breaking our connection, her hand shaking as she took a knife to slice into Lizzie’s cake.

I coerced myself back to my corner while thick, pink pieces of cake were passed out on even pinker plates.

Natalie stopped in front of me, arm extended. “Cake?” I raised a brow, caught off guard before shrugging and accepting the smal plate. “Thanks.” I offered a very cautious smile.

Her smile was wide as she plopped into the chair her husband had occupied earlier.

My smile faded as I prepared for attack.

“So, how are you holding up?”

I frowned. Was she real y asking me how I was doing?

“Um?” was about all I could manage, confused.

She chuckled, the sound warm in her throat. “That bad, huh?”

I shook my head and laughed under my breath at the unexpected exchange. “Nah. I’m just thankful to be here.” She took a bite of cake and murmured, “Hmm.” I turned and tried to read her, to search for her intent.

Her face was soft, free of displeasure as warm, brown eyes smiled back at me.

In an instant, I was taken back six years to the tender sweetness of Elizabeth.

Kindness.

Natalie radiated it.

For a moment, I looked away and gathered my courage before turning back to her. “Listen, I’m real y sorry about what happened at the store a couple of weeks ago.” I winced at the memory, the blatant terror in her eyes when I’d faced her in the parking lot. I swall owed, needing to explain myself. “I just saw her . . . and . . . I knew.” I shook my head with regret. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” She grimaced but shrugged one shoulder. “Yeah, you scared the hel out of me. I love that little girl so much. I’d do anything to protect her.” She glanced at Lizzie and then back to me, her expression serious. “But now that I know who you are I . . .” She pressed her lips together as if she were debating what to say. “I get it.”

Did she real y understand?

She must have seen the desperation in my face, because sympathy fel across her own. “I believe you.”

“You believe . . . what?” I asked.